Thursday, August 29, 2013

The Third Eye

I hope my insurance company has a sense of humor when I recently submitted claims for 3, yes 3, eye surgeries. I paid out of pocket for very expensive toric lenses to correct my acute astigmatism as part of the cataract removal process. The right eye was first, and although the surgery went well, a week after the surgery the vision in my right eye was so blurry that I couldn't make out street signs, much less written correspondence.

The two-week after surgery check-up shocked my eye surgeon when she realized that the lense had rotated 20 degrees, causing the extremely blurry vision. She has been doing this (and other) surgeries since 2007 and has never encountered the problem before, nor heard about it happening to colleagues. She told me that I was "one in a million," but I really would rather that distinction were for winning the lottery than having to redo the eye surgery.

Of course, the redeaux worked and yesterday, the left eye was corrected. When I went back this morning for the day-after check-up, the surgeon was surprised that my distance vision has been corrected to 20/20 and is clear as a bell. She told me to go buy some reading glasses, so I stopped at WalMart and bought 2 pairs with a vision correction of +1.50, rather than the +2.0 she though I may need. I made sure that I could easily read the samples, and the +2.0 was too strong, so I just tried on pairs until I found the best strength for my eyes.

And, because I now have to keep a pair of reading glasses handy, I've already made 3 crocheted cozies to wear around my neck to hold my glasses when I take them off.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

SnapShots

If it's okay to have an allblacksdating.com on-line dating service, is it equally okay to have an all whites dating site? Or is this another instance of it's only racist if it's whites excluding blacks, especially during the week that we are honoring the Dr. Martin Luther King, JR speech about dreams ... including the hope that EVERYONE would one day be judged on the content of character, not on the color of one's (black) skin.

A real language lesson: we used not to use the perjorative words asshole, asshat, dick, bitch, son of a bitch, damn, hell, shit and even the allusive "f" you, but lately, language usage has lessened to the lowest common denominator and all of these once-excluded words run rampant through the family sitcoms. One commercial even prides itself on changing the phrase "fucking good" into "fricking good," but the real f-word implication is still there. Guess my favorite lecture on the three primary levels of language usage would do a fly-by in today's classroom: we don't talk that way; we don't talk that way outside of the house; and we don't talk that way if we want to keep our job.

How come Miley is being slammed for her highly suggestive, questionable, and/or morally reprehensible performance, but Lady Gaga not only performed, but then sat in the first rows of the reserved seats wearing her seashell breast covers and baring her g-string clad butt both to the seated audience and to the viewing audience, but has had nary a ripple in the Miley publicity pond? If we're going to lament the loss of good taste, let's apply it fairly.

If a foreign country wants to engage in war with the United States, all it has to do is figure out the definition of crossing the red line -- and we'll send our troops and munitions to wage war? What about having a step ladder of color-coded lesser offenses, perhaps using the shades of the rainbow in some kind of response framework that intercedes in general armed conflict, rather than having civil war in the streets be ignored until the ill-defined "red line" is crossed and hundreds of innocent citizens are dead from the use of chemical weapons, their bodies wrapped in sheets and displayed in the streets for the media, and thus the world, to see.

Kate Gosselin is suing her ex for hacking her computer and phone accounts to dig up dirt on her that has been allegedly used in an unflattering, recently-released, tell-all book. I'm not sure that good ole Jon is all that tech smart ... and I know he doesn't have any money, so why waste the time, the energy, and the personal resources?

Why do I believe that having a serious talk with my middle dog will make her stop and think before she poops and pees on my livingroom carpet every time a single drop of rain falls from the sky? Two pee puddles and one poop pile greeted me this morning, but the only sign of rain that blanketed the rest of the Valley was a light dew on the shrubbery. I could remove the carpeting, but I hate the feel of my bare feet on a bare floor!

The other side of my perception is my reality is the idea that whoever gets there first defines the truth.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

What the H-E-Double Toothpicks?

I’m reading a Nora Roberts Rom/Com, The Heart’s Victory, in the Forever collection, when a sentence stops me BAM! right in the middle of the page:

“Chivalrousness was simply not one of Lance’s qualities, and Foxy knew that she had had enough of chivalrousness for a while.”

Why on earth would anyone write such a ridiculous sentence, creating a word to take the place of “chivalry,” which makes perfect sense in the sentence: “Chivalry was simply not one of Lance’s qualities, and Foxy knew that she had had enough of chivalry for a while.” Add to it the “had had” and it’s simply a sentence that should not have been constructed.

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Four Eyes

I was five years of age when I had my first pair of glasses fitted to my face. They felt strange, an extra weight on my face that formed a plastic mask over my eyes. Now, decades later, I am going without glasses – and that, too, feels strange.

The first thing I do in the morning is reach for my glasses; the last thing I do each night is put my glasses on the bedside table. Other than that, I never think about wearing glasses because that is my normal. Since the surgery this past week, I’ve been not wearing glasses unless I have to read something, and it feels weird to be a two-eyed person, rather than a four-eyes. I miss the feel of the glasses on my face and feel strangely naked, exposed, and vulnerable.

In two weeks, the surgery will be performed on my left eye; after that, I may need glasses to read, but will be glasses free for the majority of my daily life. I already am getting a taste of how strange that feels, but I hope that this between time will make the transition smoother than if I just went glasses free all at once.

The surgery is to remove cataracts, with the side benefit the correction of acute astigmatism. Part of me wishes I could have had the astigmatism corrected surgically when I was a child as I’ve always resented that I had to wear glasses all the time, while other people never had to wear them.

I wonder if/when the lens replacement surgery can be done on children so they, too, can take the 24/7/365 frames off their faces. My doctor says that my vision will be exceptionally clear (no cataracts) and also more precise once my eyes adjust to the lens replacement. Isn't that a wonderful gift to give to a child who has his/her life ahead?