Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

Beauty is much more than skin deep. Thank god.

I am not a particularly physically attractive person, and, truth be told, my personality isn’t always too attractive either, but when I’m sick, I radiate with reactions in a manner that would try the stomach of the most hardened CSI when faced with a mutilated victim: I burst out in herpes simplex, a medical accessory that even the most physically appealing personality would find challenging to embrace in a public setting.

Last Friday, the raging fever literally burned my face from the inside out, including my entire nose and the area from nostrils to chin. Over the weekend, the burned skin toughened, and last night it began to peel. In and of itself, this would not have been a big deal as everyone’s nose burns a couple of times a year if the person lives either at the beach or in the desert. It’s what we-all call an environmental hazard. You peel off the dead skin, slather on extra SPF 50, and go on with life.

However, my body also responds to any kind of stress or illness with a startling profusion of swelling and pus-y blisters, herpes simplex, otherwise known in my family by its polite term, fever blisters, and it’s more common name: stress mess. It begins with an all-too-familiar heated tingling of the top lip, which then begins to swell. The tingling turns to itchy as the herpes makes its way off the lips and roosts in that nice, warm area between the mouth and the nostrils. The heat from the mouth combines with the moisture from the (constantly dripping, snot-filled) nostrils, and herpes goes into instant over-drive production mode, splattering blisters everywhere there is the slightest pore opportunity.

The higher the fever, the more stress mess, until the face distends in an effort to provide comfort to all the little pus particles that have taken up residence. Some people will comment on the swelling, making such astute commentary as, “Looks like you were punched in the mouth,” to which there really is no polite response.

About the only "cure" I've found for the herpes invasion is repeated applications of dish detergent, the kind guaranteed to dissolve dried-on grease. Whatever the acidic agent in the dish soap, it burns like hell, dries out the herpes, and stops the spreading within hours after the first application. Believe me, limiting the area of involvement is a big deal when you get herpes infections as massive as the ones I've endured over the years!

When, slowly, the tingling and itching begin to subside, the blisters glisten with a sheen that somehow magnifies their presence. The curious will ask, “Oh, my god! What happened to your lip?” I've thought about tossing off a cutsey Angelina reply, “Collagen gone wild,” but it hurts too much to answer.

Once the itching and spreading stop, a crust begins to form as the pus oozes out of the dying blisters. First, the crust is light in color, perhaps a washed-out skin tone, so it looks like dried snot, an always attractive accessory for any nose. Because it’s hard, dry, and part of the sensitive area between the lip and nostrils, it hurts to try to remove the crust, even using a cotton swab and gentle lotion. It’s best just to wait it out as the best is yet to come: the dark, scabby crust.

As the invasion of active herpes virus dies off, the light crustiness turns dark as the sores begin to scab over, drawing even the most casual observer’s eye instantly to the area surrounding the mouth.

“Ah, took a header, I see. Bike accident?”

“Nah, I was actually out rollerblading, and the funniest thing happened! When I did a face plant, I landed directly on the 5 square inches of sensitive skin between my upper lip and nose! Not another scratch on me! Lucky, huh?”

As it is with all scabs, these hurt, especially if the nose is continuing to require frequent blowing throughout the day. No matter how soft, puffy, and medicated the facial tissue, repeated use irritates the scabs, often causing bleeding or premature rip-off of the scab from still-sensitive skin.

“Hey—nasty nosebleed you’ve got there! Ya outta put some ice on it, ya know, to stop the bleeding. Or you could pinch the top of your nose, ya know, ta stop the blood from dripping all over your clothes or somethin’.”

“Yeah, thanks, great idea. It’s hard to decide which will feel better: the pinch or the ice. Thanks for the great medical advice.”

I may not be physically attractive on a good day, but when I’ve been stressed and/or sick, there is no “may not” about it, especially during an attack of the herpes virus. There isn’t really anything positive to say about swollen pus-y blisters that are beginning to scab over other than, “Gross!” However, today, when I stopped after work to pick up my car, the nice guy at the counter smiled and said to me, “Hey, you look a lot better today! Man, you really look bad last Friday!”

Yeah, that was when I just had the red fever mask burning the hell out of my entire lower face; I can see where the scabby, oozing herpes blisters are an improvement!