Talk About Mean Girls!!

Perhaps the most personal aspect of a woman’s physiology, other than opening her most private self during sex, is her menstrual process. Menstruation begins deep inside a woman’s body, but it becomes an external part of her whenever she is discharging the fluids from her womb. In addition to the emotional responses to this process, a woman has to deal with the physical reality of the discharging fluids. Some days, this is a minimal amount, but other days it can become a torrent of discharge that is difficult to manage. It always has an identifiable odor associated with it that most women try to avoid disclosing by using tampons, internal protection that should do the job, but often does not.

Napkins absorb much more menstrual fluid than tampons, but by inserting tampons inside the body, women think they are better protected, especially against odor. The problem is that it’s more difficult to know if a tampon leaks than it is to tell that an external pad has reached maximum absorption; in either case, once the absorption is maxed out, both kinds of products have to be changed or there could be visible evidence that the woman is in her period. Most women respond kindly in this situation, offering to help by standing/walking behind the woman in distress, offering clean pads/tampons, and/or doing whatever it takes to help the embarrassed woman deal with the immediate issue of cleaning herself and replacing the absorption product and, sometimes, even her clothes. Seldom would any woman publicly make an issue of the failed absorption or bring it to the attention of others, especially strangers.

However, on yesterday’s The Talk, not only was the apparent failure of personal protection products brought up as a topic of discussion, but the women panelists seemed to delight in discussing in explicit detail what a photograph showed, as well as how “gross” it was. As the conversation continued for several minutes, the panelists increased their personal pleasure in enlarging the issue, laughing at what on earth that “fluid” could be, but not one of the women protected the victim of their inappropriate verbal assault or shielded her identity from the curious public.

I am appalled that this conversation took place and outraged that the women were so callous in discussing what has to be the penultimate embarrassment for any woman, but most especially for an entertainer photographed while performing in a public venue.

The thought came to mind that there, but for the Grace of God, goes each of us, one time or another. Some women suffer from severe discharge during their periods, while others deal with excessive discharge following childbirth, and almost all women have to deal with disgusting discharge during the perimenopausal phase of their "change of life" process. When it is their turn to get through this difficult time, I hope that the women on The Talk have a kinder, more supportive group of women to help them than they were to a young woman singing a tribute at the funeral of Etta James last weekend. It must have taken courage to realize that “something” was going on while she was performing, but finish the performance in spite of her personal discomfort.

What no woman needs is a group of “mean girls” pointing out a personal problem to the public who really did not need to know what happened or how funny those women all thought it was.