Cry Baby

Of course, receiving a seat assignment late in the reservation process assured that I would get a middle seat for the longest link of the three flights, and this one was between 2 men, each of whom quickly tugged down the arm-rest to make it more challenging for me to get into my seat. There was never even a smidgen of a chance that either of them would take their elbows out of my space, so I hugged myself tightly and settled in for the flight.

In addition to the lack of armrest comfort, the men both did the "man-spred" with their legs, which forced me to lock my knees together to keep from touching their encroaching knees and lower legs. I felt like I wrapped myself up like a taco shell and then had to hold that pose for a very long 5-hour flight segment. And that would have been okay but for the one male passenger seated next to me who was pissed because ...

1) No one told him that this was a no wi-fi flight. He's a busy man and uses his flight time to work, which meant without the wi-fi, he "lost" 5 hours of productive time and, as he said repeatedly to anyone who would listen, "time is money in my world."

2) We left the airport late, which was going to throw his entire work schedule out of sync. What was the excuse for not leaving on time? Well, believe it or not, the flight attendant really did not know why they left late, but she was sure the flight captain could make up some of the time and we'd arrive close to the original flight time.

3) Yeah, not so much as we ran into a storm and the captain was directed to fly around it, so we were late getting into the arrival gate, which inconvenienced many of the passengers, including me. I adjusted to the close call for my next flight by striding forcefully on the moving walkways and knocking out slow-pokes like they were bowling balls in an alley. I'm sure he was still back on the plane wa-wah-wahing to anyone who'd listen to his temper tantrum.

4) His final complaint was that the flight attendant did not announce gate arrivals and departures prior to landing. I'm sure the flight crew was busy with other duties, but this guy wanted -- and got -- a personally delivered gate arrival and information about his next flight departure. Guess it pays to be a pain in the ass, huh?

Proud of his bullying and whining, the guy made it loudly clear to anyone within 15 feet of him that he'd already composed the letter of complaint to the airlines so they will know how incompetent this particular flight crew was in meeting his personal needs. He turned toward me, pehaps to see if I was in agreement with him, and I just gave him the stare, and we all know the stare I shared.

Flight Line

Anyone who knows me also knows that I have bad luck when it comes to booking a flight and then having it happen the way the itinerary says it should go. This trip, the snafu's began at the PS airport before my 6 am scheduled departure. The flight was seriously over-booked and I didn't have a confirmed seat, along with another half-dozen frustrated flyers who were giving the airport employee a loud ration of serious shit. I waited my turn at the end of the line and finally made it to the front of the queue.

I politely asked the employee if I would have a seat on the flight and he stopped for a minute, then leaned toward me and said, "How would you like to leave an hour later, fly through Phoenix, and arrive a hour earlier than your original flight?"

"Sure," I responded, thinking what a deal.

Then he said, "And I'll throw in a $500 free travel voucher."

He had me at the rescheduling of the first itinerary, so I was now elated. The only question I had was would my luggage make it to H'burg, but he assured me that it would.

Flights went off without a hitch, and I was at the luggage pick-up, waiting for the original flight to land and cough up my purple suitcase. Quick trip back to LanCo and all was well in my world.

Until 2 days later, when I received an email telling me that my entire itinerary, all 6 flights, had been cancelled. No way, I thought, as 3 of those flights were the return trip. If those flights were not available, there was going to be a problem, so I called the US Airways help-line and introduced myself to the CSR who answered the phone. She was a bit perplexed, but called a supervisor, and my flights were restored -- with seat assignments -- and I am good to return home if nothing changes in the meanwhile.

Flying is always an adventure for me, and there's always a story to tell. I pity the poor people who sail through their itineraries without a hitch as they don't know how exciting it can be to have to go with the flow and make changes on a moment's notice.

Full Circle

I was good and firmly snagged when I pulled off my pinny and it caught on my earring and pulled the hoop loose. As I reached up to catch it, I realized that my 24k gold butterfly earring was also missing from my ear. I immediately began searching for it as it is precious to me because the earrings were a gift from Y. Of course, a frantic search was begun in the powdery black sand and gravel floor by helpful bystanders, but to no avail. As I left the show venue, I said, "If it is to be, it will come back to me," but I knew that it was lost forever.

Yesterday, however, when I was walking on the main floor of the house, a bright glimmer caught my eye: it was the earring back on the floor, partway under the small hallway table. Elated, I began searching high and low for the earring, but, again, it was nowhere to be found. Now having two locales to search, I figured it was a total lost cause.

This morning, I picked up the pile of dirty show venue clothes to give them a good wash and my toe flicked against something. Thinking it was a small rock from my shoe tread, I bent down to pick it up and was elated that it was my earring, which must have found its way inside my clothing at the venue and then onto the bedroom floor, which was why we couldn't see it there in the black gravel floor covering and I couldn't find it on my main floor of the house.

St. Anthony is the patron of lost causes, so I'm sending him my thanks this morning for returning my beautiful gold earring to me.