Cry Baby

Of course, receiving a seat assignment late in the reservation process assured that I would get a middle seat for the longest link of the three flights, and this one was between 2 men, each of whom quickly tugged down the arm-rest to make it more challenging for me to get into my seat. There was never even a smidgen of a chance that either of them would take their elbows out of my space, so I hugged myself tightly and settled in for the flight.

In addition to the lack of armrest comfort, the men both did the "man-spred" with their legs, which forced me to lock my knees together to keep from touching their encroaching knees and lower legs. I felt like I wrapped myself up like a taco shell and then had to hold that pose for a very long 5-hour flight segment. And that would have been okay but for the one male passenger seated next to me who was pissed because ...

1) No one told him that this was a no wi-fi flight. He's a busy man and uses his flight time to work, which meant without the wi-fi, he "lost" 5 hours of productive time and, as he said repeatedly to anyone who would listen, "time is money in my world."

2) We left the airport late, which was going to throw his entire work schedule out of sync. What was the excuse for not leaving on time? Well, believe it or not, the flight attendant really did not know why they left late, but she was sure the flight captain could make up some of the time and we'd arrive close to the original flight time.

3) Yeah, not so much as we ran into a storm and the captain was directed to fly around it, so we were late getting into the arrival gate, which inconvenienced many of the passengers, including me. I adjusted to the close call for my next flight by striding forcefully on the moving walkways and knocking out slow-pokes like they were bowling balls in an alley. I'm sure he was still back on the plane wa-wah-wahing to anyone who'd listen to his temper tantrum.

4) His final complaint was that the flight attendant did not announce gate arrivals and departures prior to landing. I'm sure the flight crew was busy with other duties, but this guy wanted -- and got -- a personally delivered gate arrival and information about his next flight departure. Guess it pays to be a pain in the ass, huh?

Proud of his bullying and whining, the guy made it loudly clear to anyone within 15 feet of him that he'd already composed the letter of complaint to the airlines so they will know how incompetent this particular flight crew was in meeting his personal needs. He turned toward me, pehaps to see if I was in agreement with him, and I just gave him the stare, and we all know the stare I shared.