Definitely, Not Maybe

After completing a bit of shopping and devouring an Island Burger at our favorite restaurant, we headed to the theater for some light entertainment before I had to drive back home. Although we both wanted to see Michael Clayton, there was only one showing all day, and that a bit of drive, so we decided to see Definitely, Maybe. The trailers make the movie seem like a laugh a minute chick flick, but it turned out to be somewhat content heavy and quite good.

The premise of the story is a sex ed class taught at a daughter’s school. At an inquisitive age (10), the daughter wants to ask tough questions and receive straight answers, using the words “penis” and “vagina” in the process—even in public places. Finally, settling down for the night but still wanting to know about sex, the father placates his daughter by offering to tell the story about three women who were significantly involved in his life, including the child's mother, but renaming them to protect confidentiality. The conversation is tied into the father’s divorce from the daughter’s mother, a situation which neither of them fully comprehends.

It’s a nice story about looking into the past to understand the present. The father worked on Clinton’s first election campaign, and we see him segue from youthful idealism to middle-age pragmatism. Some of the Clinton clips used in the film are eerily prescient to today’s election, which adds a dimension to the film that may not emerge in another time. As the years pass, the father recalling his life is bitter that Clinton had difficulty defining the word “is,” when a tougher word for Clinton to handle would have been “truth.” However, when he sees Clinton jogging in the park many years later, the father still reacts with shades of idealism when he calls out, “I worked on your election campaign.”

This part of his life becomes a metaphor for his intimate relationships with women, which are youthful and idealistic, too. The father sees what he wants to see in the moment and acts on that, rather than looking deeper and, perhaps, understanding more about himself and the women with whom he becomes involved. He goes in circles, not finding what he needs to be happy, but taking what he can get at the time so he can think he’s happy. It is his daughter who finally understands why her parents are divorcing and what her father needs to be happy.

The film is not a comedy, although there are elements of humor, but it is a thoughtful look at relationships, not just between men and women, but between a father and his daughter, which occurs seldom enough to be engaging. It is nice to have the story told through the man’s eyes as all too often filmmakers take the easier route through the woman’s recollection.

The man remains manly, while also being fatherly, which takes maturity on the male actor’s interpretation of the script. He travels to the top of his field, crashes, and then remakes his life into what we all recognize as middle-class: respectable, not spectacular. The child remains a child, although a child at the pushy, bratty, on the cusp of her teen years’ independence. The women who play the love interests throughout the man’s youth are pretty without being artificial, playful without being twits, and capable of earning their own way in life, rather than relying on a male provider, so they don’t have to hang on long after the relationship has run its course.

On a Saturday afternoon, Definitely, Maybe goes well with popcorn and a few free hours, and tells a story that both adults and young adults can enjoy and, perhaps, benefit from sharing. Add it to the NetFlix list!