Sleep in Heavenly Peace

It’s tricky to find just the right timing for the best night of the year. It cannot be too warm, but it also must not be too cold, or the night loses its uniqueness. I picked yesterday, and the night turned out perfectly.

My preparation began with changing the bed linens, as well as turning the mattress. I took the sheets from the dryer while they were still warm and remade the bed, adding the totally fluffy and cozy blanket for the first time this year. On top, the quilted bedspread made its appearance, along with the heavy crocheted afghan, the one with the deep burgundy roses, that I made a dozen years ago. All of the extra bed pillows got not just a fluffing, but a shaking outside, as well as new cases.

During the day, a light sprinkling rain fell, so soft and gentle that I hardly felt it as I walked the dogs. For a solid two hours, a radiant double rainbow arched across my end of the valley, spectacular in its brilliance and endurance. It connected the snow falling on one mountain with the rest of the range traveling eastward. Where the ends touched the ground, it truly appeared golden.

In the past, I began my evening with a long soak in a hot bathtub, but this past year, removing myself from a bathtub is analogous to raising the Titanic from the ocean depths, so I took a hot shower instead. After a good dry-off, I reached for the flannel jammies, soft from all the washings last winter. As I pulled them on, I knew that this was just the beginning of wearing the winter pj's.

I stayed up until 10:00 pm, then locked up the house, gave the dogs a hug, and headed toward nirvana. Removing the bed pillows and pulling down the quilted spread, I became anxious to see if the first feel of the winter bedding would be as glorious as I remembered. My feet reacted to the initial coolness of the sheets, but as I stretched myself full length under the covers and pulled them up to my chin, my body sighed in relief. Snuggling, I felt myself relaxing for the first time in months as the blankets cocooned me and began warming me to sleep.

The best night of the year is the night it’s actually cold enough to enjoy a warm, snuggly bed, complete with the weight of bedding that feels not just comforting, but allows me to relax completely, fall sleep, and sleep in heavenly peace.

Depends

Elderly maiden Aunt Mathilde accepted our invitation to Thanksgiving dinner and agreed, for one of the few times in her life, to fly. We found her a non-stop flight from northern to southern California. We told her about the travel regulations, including small containers in plastic bags and extra fees to bring even the smallest suitcase with her. Auntie M assured us that she would be "just fine," as long as she remembered her family secret.

Auntie M took a taxi to the airport, presented her ticket, sent her small overnight suitcase on its way through the baggage maze, and joined the queue of other passengers for the pre-boarding screening process. We had explained to Auntie M that she would have to remove her coat and her shoes, place them into a bin, and keep her ticket in her hand as she walked through the security gate, so she understood that process and accepted that it is what's necessary to keep passengers safe, once in the sky.

Auntie M is not the kind of woman who would allow a stranger either to see what's beneath her closed coat or to touch her body without her expressed permission, and then only in what she calls her "public areas": a shoulder to cry on, an escort's elbow, or a lover's embrace. She also had her "family secret," the bulky, extra-absorbent adult diapers that allowed her the dignity to handle her incontinance in private. No one needed to know that she had embarrassing Sudden Leak Syndrome, which could occur more frequently when she traveled.

The TSA screener directed Auntie M to the left and told her to stand in front of a flat panel as he explained that she would have a full body x-ray. Auntie M, aghast at the idea of showing her entire body to a stranger, and, perhaps, revealing her family secret, tried to explain her predicament by responding, "Depends."

"Depends on what?" he responded. "Do you have something to hide?"

"No," she responded, "it's Depends."

"Are you refusing to be x-rayed?" he asked, motioning for another attendant to join him at the flat screen.

"No, I'm not," she replied, "but it's Depends."

The second TSA worker came closer, listened to the conversation, then directed Auntie M to follow her to a screened area for a full-body pat-down. When the woman touched Auntie M in a personal way, Auntie M became very upset and, turning her eyes toward her private area, pleaded with the woman. "Depends," she said, "Depends!"

The screener ignored Auntie M and became more aggressive in the search for ... contraband? explosives? drugs? Auntie M didn't know why she was being physically assaulted, just that she was. Suddenly, the woman's hands stilled as they felt the bulky undergarment that is Auntie's family secret.

"Supervisor!" the TSA employee, shouted, "we need assistance in the screening area."
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Okay, so this is fiction, but it could be happening throughout the USA during the heightened travel season. Families with passels of kids excited and anxious about flying, may not be able to hold it together when it comes to full-body scans and full-body pat-downs, no matter how tactfully either may be performed. It will be congested airports, noisy crowds, and long, stressful lines of people who have to decide whether to allow a stranger to see their naked body image or touch them in private places. In those lines will be the elderly, the disabled, the mentally unstable, and stressed-out, overwrought travelers for whom this may be the final straw in an already difficult day.

In trying to prevent an explosive situation in the air, the airport personnel may be creating an even more explosive situation in the terminals across America.

Is the TSA going to detain every person who objects to the violation of their personal space, or is it going to be a selective process? Granny gets groped, while a young woman covered head-to-toe in her native garb is passed through, rather than risk violating her religious beliefs? Is the TSA going to require individuals wearing a robe and/or head covering to remove it -- or pass them through, rather than risk offending someone who may object to removing a voluminous head covering by racially profiling them? Is any person wearing a bulky adult diaper going to be publicly humiliated because one potential suicide bomber used that option to try to explode a plane in the air? Auntie M is equally offended at the assault on her personal freedom and dignity, but she will be detained, while a person who claims religious privilege or racial profiling will be passed through.

We don't think things through and work in a proactive way to prevent terrorists from commiting their crimes, but we sure have the knee-jerk reactionary tactics down pat!

Pun intended.

DWTS x 5

UPDATE: Bristol is in the finals -- and totally unrecognized by the other contestants, as well as the judges, the hosts, and the crowd. There was dead silence because the favorite went home tonight and the only non-dancer left standing stays for the finals. It irritates me that such disrespect has been shown to Bristol, perhaps for political reasons, but I hope that is not the case. It was stunning to hear accusations that The Tea Party/Republicans kept her on the show long past when she should have gone home, and disgusting to hear the boos attributed to her mother and father, who came to the show to cheer their daughter in her performances.

Perhaps many others felt as I did, watching the show last night, that this young woman put more of herself into this contest than some of the other contestants. Her gracious attitude, her fierce determination, her acceptance of herself as the underdog are qualities to be admired, not to be criticised. Bristol is NOT on the show because of her mother; perhaps, she is on the show in spite of her mother!!

And, she's going to the finals. Good for you, Bristol!
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I've watched this season of Dancing With the Stars, but I have not voted until tonight. After watching Bristol and Mark, I decided to give them all 5 of my votes because they embody what the program is about: a person who is NOT a dancer becoming one, one week at a time.

Bristol has not been talented or graceful or even a good dancer, but she has worked hard to learn the dances, perform the dances, accept the judge's criticisms, and keep coming back each week. Others in the semi-finals came into the competition at a much higher level than the former 17-year-old "high school slut" who became pregnant and then had to be pregnant on national TV. She gave birth to her son, has raised her son, gave her son's father a second chance, which he blew wide open, and then stood on her own two feet to continue with whatever comes next.

What came next was an invitation to be part of this season's DWTS, a tough gig for anyone, but especially tough for a young girl with limited exposure to the hardened public figures who know how to handle the papps, as well as the glare of the 24/7 media spotlight. Through it all, she's been gracious, hardworking, and ... herself.

Congrats, Bristol, for keeping true to yourself. I'm proud of you for using what happened to you as a reason to continue to be who you are in the process of becoming who you will be.

Just Being Honest

This has been a bad week. As a result, I'm not sleeping well, over-eating, dealing with heart palpitations, and cranky as hell.

On the positive side, I'm staying home, all by my lonesome, so no one has to deal with me! The dogs don't care how I feel: they just want to go for their walk, which we do almost every day. Daisy has been cuddling up on my lap, while Mia has been snoring on the livingroom floor. Periodically, I give them treats, so we're just one big semi-happy family.

It's okay with me if tomorrow's a better day!

The Blame Game

Mr. "Dubya" Bush is quoted as saying he "probably could have done things better," but I disagree with that phrasing, as well as that perspective. We may do things differently, but we have no way of knowing whether the outcome will be better/ worse/ the same until after the fact. Hence, perhaps President Bush could have done things differently, but the results could have been far worse as a result.

Monday night quarterbacks always believe they could have won the Sunday afternoon football game, but they need to suit up and be on the field Sunday in order to have the opportunity to be in the game. Could they have done a better job than the team on the field? Maybe/maybe not: they could have played the game differently, but that would have allowed the other team to respond differently, and we would have had a different ball game -- but not necessarily different outcomes.

I also don't know why another Texan, of Dallas Cowboy owner's fame, fired his coach. The coach wasn't on the field throwing passes, blocking linemen, driving for a first down, kicking field goals, so why fire him? There are a dozen different coaches on a team, each coach empowered to do the best job s/he can do with the athletes on the roster. There are no guarantees that the team will perform to the expectations of the coaches, the media, or the owner! Yeah, yeah, yeah: it's the old the pitcher wins the baseball game, but I don't agree with that, either!! The team does the job, or it doesn't do the job, on the field, but the coach is confined to the sidelines. Throwing lots of money at a team doesn't buy a winning season: it simply assures that the owner is going to think that how much s/he pays the athletes assures success on the field.

In education, when students fail a class or don't pass the mandated exit exam, it's perceived to be the teacher's fault. I dare anyone who spends one full year in a room filled with 40 non-motivated high school sophomores 5 times a week for a 55-minute period of time to believe that it is the teacher's fault. It's never just one person who makes or breaks a deal, especially if the other side of the deal has absolutely no buy-in to the process or the outcome. The schools provide the information, but the student has to be an active part of the learning process. Sending texts, listening to I-Pods, updating one's Facebook page, tuning out what's around them because it's "boring" are all student strategies to opt out of whatever is going on around them that the do not want to do, so they will not do. Poor kids: no one is teaching them!

Presidents, athletes, teachers, parents do the best job they can do with the information provided to them at a time when they have to make tough decisions that can go either way. Sometimes, they score a touchdown and sometimes they fumble, while other times, the opposing team takes a goal-line stance and holds the line. It's a process, not an event, so we need to accept that sometimes, we'd all love to go back for a do-over, but that's not reality. Put life into the context of living it and move on.

Being Fired for Cause

The Registrar for Riverside County does it again: elections were Tuesday and there are still 28,000 provisional ballots not counted, as well as approximately 2000 mail-in ballots, one of which may be mine.

Would anyone else with such a dismal performance at a time when doing her job well really matters still be working for the county? Not!

UPDATING: She was fired yesterday, her department left with about 29,000 ballots left to count a full week after the election. She participated in a media interview and avowed that she's doing her job the best she can while operating within really difficult circumstances, but the Board of Supervisors responded: every other county in the STATE met the deadline -- except ours -- and this is 3 elections in a row with that dubious distinction.

Result: she's outta here. Finally.

A Kneed to Know?

It took me 2 months to write the letter to the first ortho surgeon, but I finally finished it and sent it to him and the CEO of the hospital for which he works. Just wanted to provide him with information that he could consider the next time he blows off a patient who repeatedly tries to provide him with specific information to help him accurately diagnose a medical issue. I knew there would be blow-back, but when weighed against the unremitting pain, as well as other developing side effects, I needed to send the letter.

Today, the phone rang. Calling was an office worker from the first surgeon's practice. He tried to contact the MRI provider, but could not substantiate that I had an updated MRI, from which I quoted in the letter, the first of September. I assured him that I did, but told him that I have another surgeon, a new treatment plan, and am scheduling another surgery to repair the torn meniscus. He informed me that he was going to call the MRI provider back, so I called the office to forestall the first ortho surgeon from unauthorized access of that information.

Yep, it's true: the office staff there cannot find the second MRI. I told her that I'm holding it in my hand, gave her the date, my name spelled correctly, and the MRI number -- but she cannot locate it in their records. Well, I told her, that's okay I guess, but just in case you do find it, I do NOT give permission to the former surgeon to access those records. He didn't read the first MRI I brought with me, so why would he want to read the updated one that I had after leaving his practice?

My goal is to have the surgery, get back on both feet and hope that my left hip responds positively to the lack of limp, and then move on with my life. There is no going back, no redoing the last year of my life, so it's wasted energy to be stuck there. I have copies of both the first and the updated MRI; I know that my injury was not treated properly, but I am confident that my new doctor is doing what it takes to change that outcome.

Dream On

There is an older housing area across the street from the airport, technically in Cat City, not PS. The homes were built to offer affordable housing to people who could not afford it, and the area began with families celebrating owning their little piece of the American Dream. Hence, the area became known as Dream Homes.

In the past decades, the area has been a notorious gang neighborhood, with older residents barracading themselves behind locked doors, afraid to come out, especially at night. A commitment by local police to rid the area of the gangs has been marginally successful, enough that the residents began renovating homes, upgrading landscaping, and creating a true neighborhood community of families and friends. Within the past 5 years or so, however, the gang-related crimes have become more commonplace, including shootings.

Because the CV is a straight shot from the Mexican border, it attracts illegal aliens and criminals fleeing Mexico. The Mexican cartels are on a killing spree, so more and more of the illegal immigrants bring with them guns and a "kill or be killed" mentality. The shootings are not localized, as they once were, and within the past month the number of fatalities in the Valley is shocking. People are being gunned down on the streets and law enforcement believes that the majority of the killings are gang-related.

Night before last, at 6:30 pm, a family gathered in the Dream Homes neighborhood while a 16-year-old mother and her 17-year-old boyfriend showed off their new baby to friends. A passing motorist, who knew the people standing outside their home, pulled to the curb to join the gathering, sharing the joy of the new baby. Another car drove by slowly; the passenger rolled down the window, shouted at the group "Where you from?" and opened fire.

The young mother died instantly, still holding her baby. The man who stopped to admire the baby died from his wounds. The baby's father was shot multiple times, but it appears that he's going to survive. The shocking totals: 2 dead and 4 wounded, with others fleeing for their lives. One of the wounded was the months' old baby, who was shot in the leg.

The police have concluded that because the young father is an acknowledged gang member, this probably is a gang-related shooting of people who were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Evidently, the individuals in the car were out cruising the neighborhood, looking for an easy target. Anyone in the Valley who wants to know where to find gang activity knows where it is. Even with a fairly clear description of the vehicle, neither it nor the two shooters inside have been found.

It is not politically correct to racially profile criminals, but when the criminals are from Mexico, identify themselves with tattoos as belonging to Mexican gangs and cartels, cross the border illegally, and shoot citizens walking down a street or standing in front of their homes showing off a new baby, it's time to be a whole lot less politically correct. Both California and Arizona law enforcement must target these gang-bangers and take them off the streets. Unfortunately, woe be unto a police officer who shoots and kills one of them because the Mexican gang members who are killing people on our streets are protected to the fullest extent of the law, while the law enforcement personnel must justify the shooting.

President Obama refuses to address the direct link between the Mexican criminals and the dramatic increase in crime along the border states, much less authorize effective means to combat the problem. Ironically, the President believes that Mexicans are being racially profiled and targeted unfairly because they cross the border illegally, not because they are criminals. When Arizona got tough in an effort to stop the overt criminal activity along its border, the President ordered Arizona to back off, rather than stand up himself to Mexico's protest.

Sometimes, it's easier to be wrong than it is to stand up for what's right. The border states must work together to stop the hemmoraghing of criminals from Mexico into America, even when it means taking on the Presidents of Mexico and the United States to do it. People who have nothing to worry about should support law enforcement agencies targeting criminals; criminals should not walk the streets with impunity, but always be looking behind them to see who's coming to take them off the streets.

The killing spree is not going to stop on its own. How many more shootings will it take before law enforcement is fully empowered to deal with the issue that is, not with what the politicians wish it to be?

Drivin' the Car

Can you hear us now?

The PEOPLE have spoken to the politicians and their voices must be heard: we do not want to continue with the policies and practices that are currently impacting our lives. It's not a two-party divide, but it certainly is generational: the Democrats went after the youth vote, using the popular media tools to help them board the (twitter) bandwagon in 2008, but we old folks, the ones who pay for the gas, took away the credit cards last night. The young people moved on as soon as the 2008 election was over: short attention spans. We older folks live in long-term memoryville!

From now on, it's cash and carry: if we cannot afford it, we aren't going to do it. No, we aren't going to sit in the back seat, hanging on for dear life while the driver of the bus talks, texts, and twitters, instead of paying attention to the road ahead. The President told Republicans "not to do a lot of talkin'" while he cleaned up the mess, a boast he was not able to back, but a personal challenge he may now want to consider.

The ballots have been counted, Mr. President. Ouch.

Two stunning shockers: Jerry Brown is back as California's governor and Harry Reid keeps his senate seat. Wow. I remember Jerry Brown from the first time around ... . Of course, Brown says that now he's of an age to do things differently, but I'm not sure what he means by that: promise or threat? Harry Reid won't have Nancy Pelosi to prop him up in front of the cameras and tell him what to say, so Lord only knows the path of his on-going descent into senility.

Paraphrasing Mrs. Obama, who gushed that it was "the first time in my adult life" that she was proud of America after her husband's election in 2008, this is one of the many times in my adult life that I, too, am proud of all Americans who exercised the right to vote ineffective, arrogant, and offensive politicians out of office. Now, Mr. President, you may want to take your own advice and "not do a lot of talkin'" until you figure out what to do about all the changes coming your way in Washington.

The PEOPLE have spoken: lead, follow, or get the hell out of the way!

Health Care Reform or Rip-Off?

As of the first of the year, my monthly health care premium for the Part C Medi-Care coverage I opted to purchase increases twice in a short 5 months. Thus, I currently pay $137.47, but will pay $155.50 by May 2011, an increase of $18.03/month, or $216 annually. If I understand correctly, I am then again due for another rate increase at the end of next year -- twice.

With these increases pretty much a done deal, I can continue to pay the increased rates or decrease my coverage, the old "between a rock and a hard place" forced choice situation that leads many senior citizens to drop their coverage at a time in their lives when it is most needed.

Meanwhile, the medical professionals book as many appointments as they can to make up for the decreased payment allowances being made by the insurance providers. If you don't get the money upfront, you have to bring the payee back often to keep the revenue stream flowing. Thus, a simple annual check-up starts at the primary care physician, but then involves the lab for blood work, the cardiologist, the eyes/nose/throat specialist, the bone specialist, the mammogram clinic, ad infinitum, the purpose of which, according to my primary care clinic, is to rule out anything about which I may not be aware. When I add a trip to the dentist and another visit with my eye care professional, neither of which is covered by insurance, I am paying, paying, paying -- and also paying for the insurance policies!

Reform by any other name is simply another ill-conceived piece of legislation that was signed before it was written.

Election Perspective

The basic difference between political philosophies no longer seems to be support for either the Democratic or the Republican party platform, but concern about the intensity of the role of government in both making spending decisions and controlling individuals/ communities/ states with those decisions. It appears to be generational whether a person wants the government to pay for the plethora of entitlement programs or sees the role of government as the mechanism to maintain the infrastructure, while staying out of the governance on a local level.

People who do not want to raise taxes conversely want "the government" to pay for the entitlements that make the USA so attractive to the unemployed, as well as the unemployable. If I am an individual who wants what everyone else has, but I have lived my life as a welfare recipient, rather than as a contributing financial partner in my lifestyle, I expect that the government will provide me with assistance vis a vis my welfare check, my food stamps, my subsidized housing, my medical care -- but I may not connect these "free" services to the fact that they are provided by tax revenue, not money picked off the money tree growing in the backyard. If this is my lifestyle, as well as my mindset, I am going to vote (if I choose to vote) for the candidate who seems most willing to provide me with what I expect.

Any candidate who says "no new taxes" is living in fantasyland, not in reality. We cannot continue to pay for all of the free programs currently funded through tax revenue if we do not raise taxes. Deficit spending means that we are crashing our financial stability by borrowing money we don't have to pay for the financial obligations we do have. If we do not cut the financial obligations, we cannot pay the bills for them, and we devalue our currency and collapse our economy.

In our own lives, we need to live within our means, but we have a recent 25-year period of unprecendented economic prosperity that led the majority of people throughout the world to demand the highest level of lifestyle any country has ever seen. We bought what we wanted, when we wanted it, sloughing off the reality that it has to be paid for or forfeited. The result is closed economic doors that may never reopen because no one paid the amount due when it was due and in full. Again, if you cannot afford to pay for it, you cannot afford to buy it -- and buying on credit is still buying it! Walking away from one's debts was never an option until the government made it an option by recent financial decisions that allowed consumers to do so. The bills are still out there, still unpaid, but there is no one standing in line to make the payments.

There are few honest politicians, just individuals who think they can either do the job differently in a system that is inherently designed to prevent anyone from making real changes or individuals who crave the power that comes with a political career. It does not matter which candidate is elected because politicians vote their decisions, not the will of the people. Our system has lost the rule of the majority for the political expedience of the powers behind the talking heads on the TV screen. One man/one vote used to mean that "my" man represented "my" vote; today, it means that the elected politician represents his/her own interests regardless of what the people want.

We didn't allow people truly to fail, to lose everything they have and have to earn it back, during the recent financial crisis. Government stepped in and manufactured a hail Mary pass that seemed to be caught for a touchdown, but was fumbled in the end zone. We are no better off today than we were 2 years ago, or even a year ago, but we are much better at hiding how badly our economy is failing than we were then. It was so obvious that we had inflated our lifestyle to the point where collapse was going to be the only result, but people were shocked when it happened. This was nothing like the Great Depression, and I believe it's going to take that kind of collapse to turn our lives around, not just to get us back on track in our own lives, but in the role of government in our lives. We have to be able to stand on our own two feet, not on our daddy's toes, as we make our way through our adult lives and responsibilities. Anyone who relies on the government to care for them, rather than caring for themselves, creates a dependency on a paternalistic agency that is unhealthy and economically dangerous.

Yes, I have voted. I am not happy with the default choices I have made, Democrat, Republican, and Independent, but all I can do is work with what is on the ballot. For every opportunity to vote to limit government, I have voted to do so, whether candidates or ballot measures. I do not believe in entitlement programs, nor do I believe anyone who promises to make the kinds of changes that simply cannot be made. I do not support anyone who believes that we can buy our way out of economic instability, nor do I believe anyone who promises to go to Washington and get things done.

The reality is that we are beyond the sophomoric rhetoric and we should be smarter than the way we are treated by the publicity campaigns of politicians who make promises they cannot keep.