Dementia

So, let’s talk about dementia.  I was diagnosed coming up on a year ago based on some cognitive testing my doctor did.  He said, “Let’s be proactive” and put me on Aricept, which is commonly prescribed for dementia patients.  For the first 6 weeks, I didn’t notice any difference, but slowly I began to settle into a routine, a calm routine that sees me staying more at home than out and about.  I worry about little things, like losing myself when I’m driving (I haven’t made any errors yet), so it’s easier to stay home than it is to go somewhere.  I have places that I go regularly, which makes it easier to feel confident about getting where I need to be when I need to be there.


But, there’s a mental void, a blank spot—especially when I try to recall things that have happened or remember appointments that I’ve made.  I have two appointments that are routine for me, and those I’m doing fairly well at navigating.  One is to my therapist, with whom I feel safe and don’t often stumble mentally; the other is my regular Tuesday lunch-and-a-movie with my two girlfriends.  I know most of the restaurants we frequent, as well as the three theaters we attend for our movies, so I don’t have any driving issues with this weekly treat.  When I’m off on my own, however, I worry about losing track of where I am and where I need to be, which adds tension to my driving.  So far, I’m doing really well and I pay special attention to what is going on around me.


Recalling things is trickier.  Yucheng will remind me of something we said/did the weekend before and I have no recollection of it.  We have our routines, which is very comfortable for me, but if we change it up, I can’t remember where we went/what we did. I know the names of people I’ve always known, but if someone introduces themselves, I can’t remember what their name is even if I repeat it a dozen times. And, I found out the hard way, I don’t remember what I did yesterday, so I may redo it today.  I went to the ATM to draw out some first-of-the-month cash, went about my business, then drove back to the ATM to get out my first-of-the-month cash, not remembering that I had already done that.  It was okay because it wasn’t a lot of money, but I was completed dumbfounded when I went to put the second batch of cash into my wallet and found money already there.


One huge problem I’m having is shopping online.  Everything looks so good and I want to get it for so-and-so, so I order it.  And then I go to another site and do the same thing again.  And I go to another site and do it a third time.  Before I know it, I’ve ordered several hundred dollars’ worth of stuff I really shouldn’t have bought—even if it was something to send to my kids.  The garage is full of empty boxes, which should have been my first clue that things were out of hand, but I didn’t connect the empty boxes to empty wallet!!  I’ve been talking with my therapist and she’s holding me accountable every two weeks when I see her, which is helping.  I have a sign on the computer, right in front of my face, that reminds me:  NO ONLINE BUYING!


What I am totally thankful for is that I can still write.  I’ve always been a writer, a reader, a talker, so it’s nice to continue to be able to do these things.  However, when I read, I forget what I read the page before the one I’m now reading, and unless I take notes to keep track of what I’m reading, I can finish a book and have no idea how it started or what happened.  Sometimes I can hold content for a few days, but within a week, it’s gone. When I’m talking, I do the “drop” in the middle of what I started to say and it’s just gone—poof!  No idea what I was saying, so I just stop talking.  But with writing, I can put down what I’m thinking as I’m thinking it, and then go back sentence by sentence if I need to do so to pick up the thread of what I am writing.  The words come to me without having to think about them, and I type fast enough to be able to keep up with my thoughts as they occur.


Part of what I’m experiencing is merely a factor of my age: I’ll be 75 on June 1, so there is going to be some loss of mental acuity.  I do word games, and play a game on the computer that is called Pyramid, which requires me to match playing card numbers and erase the pyramid.  I have to work in 13s, and you have no idea how long it took me to figure out which combos of cards add up to 13!  Of course, I’ve never been a numbers person, so it’s to be expected that area of my brain needs more nurturing than my writing or reading part.  I also have joined FaceBook and really enjoy “conversing” with people on that platform.  I always try to find a powerful, positive thought to leave on others’ pages, something that will “up” their day—and mine as well.  I don’t really know most of the people, but there are quite a few former students in contact with me via FB, and that has been fun.


All in all, I’m doing fine.  I feel good and alert most of the time, but also find myself becoming stressed out in new situations or around new people.  If I know I have to remember, it seems to block my ability to recall information and/or names.  I feel that my minimal memory issues are fairly typical for my age, so I’m not overly concerned yet with the aspects of dementia that may be coming down the road.  I am healthy and I take care of myself, which is important to me on a daily basis.  I walk the dogs, run errands, go out with friends and Yucheng, and generally am feeling good.  I still have a positive attitude about this whole new phase of my life and will continue to keep on keeping on as long as I am able to do so. After that?  Well, I’ll just have to build a bridge and see where that leads me.

A Gentle Reminder

It's just about 6 months since the doctor put me on Aricept for my early onset dementia. The first month, I didn't notice any significant difference in my functioning, so I went online and did some research into proactive steps I could take to slow down what is a progressive disease. I found one website that offered a supplement, called Youthful Brain, and after reading all the literature about it, I ordered a bottle to see what happens.

What happened is that the "fog" in my brain began to lift, although this could be coincidental with the Aricept kicking in.  I still have minor lapses in my cognitive functioning, but that is also considered as a normal part of brain deterioration that comes with advancing age.  I am pleased to see improvement as my fear at diagnosis was "worst case" scenario, especially after seeing my mother's deterioration during her final years.  I am healthy in all other respects to my body, so I feel that gives me a bit of an advantage in dealing with the dementia.

And then today came when … I  got up and showered, dressed, and took off for my bi-weekly appointment in Palm Springs.  I stopped and bought a coffee and an order of churros to share with my therapist, and arrived right on time to the office.  I didn't think too much of it as the clock ticked its way toward my appointment time, but when my therapist didn't come get me at my scheduled time, I was … concerned. I hoped that nothing had happened in her life to keep her from the office, but decided to sit and wait until a quarter past the hour to see if she was just held up  with an emergency.

At quarter past the hour, I walked down the hallway to her office and tried the doorknob, which was locked.  I shrugged my shoulders, decided to leave her a note, and prepared to depart.  Things happen to all of us, so I wasn't particularly concerned, but hesitated when another person came down the hallway to what I assumed was his office.  I politely asked him if my therapist had let him know that she wouldn't be in today, and he looked at me a bit confused, then told me that she never comes in on Mondays.  I responded, "But today is Tuesday and I have my regularly scheduled appointment with her."

"No," he replied, "it's Monday."

You know how your brain does that "rolodex" thing when you are confused and starts whirling through the facts and information that you store within trying to make sense of what  you are hearing? That's what happened to me.  I blurted out, "Are you sure?  I'm pretty sure it's Tuesday."

And, of course, he assured me that it's Monday. I left the office after thanking him for helping me and walked to my car feeling totally bewildered.  I backed out of my parking space, put the gear into drive and started home.  Twice on the way home I made a wrong turn and was momentarily "lost."  I was able to turn myself back around and made it home with no further issues, but I'm completely bewildered by what happened.

I'm at home and feel all "here and now," so I'm pretty sure this was just one incident that may not happen again.  I think that when I got the day of the week wrong, I just internally became a bit panicked and that caused me to make the wrong turns on the way home.  I feel present and not at all confused, but I am home and that's my safe place.  I will continue with my medication and supplement, and focus better on being present in the moment.  When it's time for my next doctor appointment, I'll be sure to include this incident in the conversation if there are any further occurrences like the one today.  One event does not make a pattern, and now that I'm aware that there can be issues, I'll be more alert and double-check what I'm doing and where I'm going.

Five Brain Killers

According to Dr. Sam Walters, who specializes in the brain and aging and the effects of aging, there are five brain killers that, if we remove them from our consumption, can make a difference in such brain issues as dementia and Alzheimers.

• The first is MSG, commonly found as a seasoning in lots and lots of food products.
• Next is aspartame, which is what Equal is and other artificial sweeteners. 
• Third is Sucralose, which is what Splenda is. 
• Fourth is diacetyl, the buttery flavor in microwave and movie theatre popcorn. 
• Finally, fifth is aluminum, a natural toxin found in many food and cosmetic products.  

All five of these brain killers should be removed from our human consumption, but especially if you are an older person who is already suffering from brain deterioration or simply wanting to avoid it. In my opinion, we should remove these products from all of our diets regardless of age or physical condition.

Youthful Brain

I've spent a bit of time surfing the internet looking for articles about dementia and cognition. Pretty much they all have the same info, but I was attracted to one site that focused on "Youthful Brain," a supplement that, according to the doctor's information at the site, will help with cognition.  Of course, that supplement has to be augmented with brain training and diet as nothing by itself will make any difference in the course of the dementia.

I read all the literature that came with the site and which included an article about nutritional changes that can be made to improve the brain as an organ of the body. The article talked about super foods for the brain that can enhance the brain's function, including those things that should be avoided, which includes popcorn at the movies. I took it all in and decided to send for the supplement, Youthful Brain, under the brand name Vitality Now.  I got what's called the "Clear Mind Formula," which is supposed to work to clear out the fog associated with dementia.

The fog is what made me realize that something was wrong when I first started having brain issues. I couldn't remember the simplest of things, like my phone number or address, just absolutely blanking when asked to provide either one while doing business transactions. It was frustrating and irritating, to say the least, not to be able to recall simple, basic life information. That's when I decided it was time to see my doctor and ask him whatever could be causing my symptoms. When he ran a few cognition tests, it became clear that I was started down a path no one wants to walk.

I have been using the Clear Mind Formula, Youthful Brain, for about a month now and I can feel a difference. That fog effect seems to have lifted somewhat and I feel more clear-headed.  Now, that can be a by-product of wanting the formula to work, so it does, but if that's what it takes, so be it. I have even recalled some information appropos nothing in particular, which has been somewhat startling. Today, on the other hand, the clerk at the drugstore asked me for my phone number and I totally blanked, but after thinking about it for a minute or so, I was able to retrieve it.  In the past, what I could not recall was simply gone.

Yes, I am also taking a prescription medication, Aricept, which has shown significant results in slowing the progress of the dementia in patients who use it.  I had taken it for about a month before I added the Youthful Brain formula. Before adding the YB, I still had fog; since adding the YB, I don't have the fog.  I think the two work together well, but perhaps have different foci for their targets. I return to my doctor the end of the month and will bring him up to date on what I decided to do by adding the Youth Brain formula to my treatment plan.  I'm going to stop taking it after I've used up the product I purchased and see if there is any difference not using it versus using it. Then, based on my own empirical evidence, I will decide whether to purchase more of the Youthful Brain product.

Updating:  Just received my newsletter from AARP and found an article about brain supplements. Basically, it says there is absolutely no evidence that any of the ones they tested work, and that it's a big scam. Did reflect that they are expensive and lining someone's pockets with profit. Also, said that it could be harmful. Well, when I use up my last bottle of the supplements (at $50/bottle), I won't get any more.

Rockin' and Rollin'

This morning, the couch began to move and it took a moment before I realized we were having an earthquake.  It was fairly gentle, but persistent.  As it died down, I told the dogs that it was no big deal and then it began again, stronger and a bit longer in duration.  As it dragged on, I wondered if it was going to build in intensity but no, it stayed about the same as the first half of the shaker.

Of course, the TV commentators were on the air in lightning speed, telling us that there were two separate quakes on the same fault, up by Ridgecrest, which is about 200 miles from where I am in the SoCal desert. Both of the quakes were 6.4, which can do damage, but far enough away that all they did here was rock 'n roll.

I understand from the news that there is considerable damage in the Ridgecrest area, including (perhaps) to a hospital. I'll have to watch the evening news for details as the quake coverage was over and life had moved on.

Updating:  two days later, at about the same time, we had another quake, this one a 7.1. It felt stronger, but was the same rolling shake that we had on July 3. Lots more damage in areas that felt the quake, mostly in stores with stocked shelves that ended up in the aisle. There was damage to roads and homes with this second quake, and some fires that came from ruptured gas lines.  This second quake was felt all the way to LA, with lots of people reporting the water from their swimming pools sloshed and overflowed.

The prognosticators are saying that it's not unlikely that there will be a third quake, but I hope the statistics favor the won't happen side of the prophecy.

Updating Cognition

It's been almost a month since I posted about my dementia diagnosis.  At that time, I was still a bit freaked out, but I'm much more mellow now, accepting that it is what it is and deciding how I'm going to go softly into that goodnight down the road.  I'm being proactive and have integrated a few new routines  into my life that seem to be making a difference.

One change has been making sure I am not just present, but that I am leaving the house at least once a day to interact with other people.  This past week, I had my visit with my therapist, lunch and a movie with a dear friend, and I asked another friend if she'd like to go to lunch, which she did, and we had a good time chatting.  I continue to walk the dogs twice a day, and many of the neighbors who know us by sight, but not name, make a point of greeting us.  One day a week I go grocery shopping either at Von's, if it's just groceries, or at WalMart if I need a variety of things not unique to a grocery store.  I am keeping lists so I don't have to remember, and then making sure I stick to the lists when I shop.

My memory game playing has improved and I'm up to Level 30 on Pyramid, which means it's time to find another left-brain activity to engage my brain.  I've done some reading about brain stimulation that says it's important to target both the left and right brain on a daily basis, trying to balance out the amount of stimulation between the two sides of the brain.  I'm using my writing for the right brain, including reading FB posts and responding in a sentence to those that interest me, rather than just clicking "like."  I've connected with many former students and have had "conversations" with them, which has brought back a lot of memories from the past. One piece of information intrigued me when I read about the benefit from coloring as a right brain activity because I've been coloring for the past several months just because it felt good to do that.  Glad to know I was getting some tangible reward for the hours spent.  I'm going to get a book of crossword puzzles to work on as that seems to target both the left and the right brain, and integration is good.

I also did some research online about brain activity and was captured by a Dr. who is at www.vitalitynow.org. He talks about the top 12 foods that fight brain aging and includes both hands-on activities and diet/exercise activities to help keep the brain active.  He sells a product, Youthful Brain, which I bought to add to other specific changes I'm making in my diet/exercise day plans, and I'm monitoring to see if there are any changes I can see/feel/measure.  He recommends N-back testing, which can be found online, and he gives it glowing reviews. He also stresses that there needs to be a balance of both right/left brain stimulation, and that it needs to progress as the brain starts to function better over time.

My goal is to do this one day at a time, not wasting time looking too far ahead and fearing the what if's.  If I keep reminding myself to think, and then actively think about things in my life, I have a better chance at keeping a healthy brain than if I just sit and stew about the what if's.

As an aside, I was interested in learning that both blueberries and apples are super good for a healthy brain.  I wonder if that's why I eat a blueberry muffin every day?  See?  I still have my sense of humor, so all is right with the world.

Cognitive Dissonance

It's coming up on 3 months since I came home from the doctor with a diagnosis of early-onset dementia. He assured me that there is treatment, including a prescription of Aricept, and urged me to "do things" that stimulate my brain to think, to work, to remember. I was taken aback, but not really surprised that there was "something wrong" as my good friends had pointed out to me that I was having memory issues for quite a while (as long as 2 years, according to one friend). I, however, heard the word "dementia" and freaked out, remembering my mother's years of decline into total Alzheimers by the time of her death. It was not pretty seeing her fumbling around in a mental fog for the majority of her final decade, and I could only think, "Dear God, what am I going to do?"

Well, the first thing I did was take Aricept, which triggered the manic phase from hell!  I was so filled with energy and enthusiasm that I started decluttering my house to the nth degree.   I was a maniac on a mission.  I ended up taking the RAV filled with boxes to Angel View a couple of times a day for days on end. When my daughter showed up on my doorstep, wondering what the hell was going on, she got into the spirit of the thing and helped me with the kitchen. I had 18 boxes labeled "dishes" and "kitchen" from when I moved into this house 19 years ago, but they had sat on shelves in the garage unopened, so I just gave them away.  I have no idea what was in the boxes, but I hope whatever it was was put to good use by someone else.

Part of what brought my daughter to the desert was my delighted news that I had decided to sell my house and move. In my manic phase (I am bipolar and on meds for that, which apparently reacted to the Aricept), I decided that now was as good a time as any to just pack up and move. The thought didn't go any farther than that, into such mundane questions as to why? where? when? how? I was flying off the rooftops and taking on the whole world. When the children intervened and asked some interesting questions, such as where? when? how? why?, I couldn't respond because that kind of practical information was unavailable. What finally brought me out of my mental state, however, was a very sobering thought: what about my dogs?  They are my family, and they go where I go, but I hadn't factored in housing issues, such as big yard, fences, and transporting them from  here to wherever.  I had signed a sales contract, but was able to cancel it (thank God for the cooling off period required by law), so I stopped that process before it got serious.  I was half-way finished with the possessions purge, so continued with that -- and got a very welcomed visit from my daughter, who had come to see first-hand what the hell was going on with mom.

As a final finish to the purge project, I hired a contractor to come in and refinish and then repaint all of my kitchen cabinets. With all the space remaining after getting rid of 20 years' worth of stuff and the kitchen brightening with the off-white finish, I am once again happy with being in my house. I do have a big yard and a separate dog run out back, so I don't have to worry about what my poor dogs would do if all I could find to live in was an apartment in a senior community.

My body has adjusted to the combination of my bi-polar meds and the Aricept, so I'm not longer flying to the moon and back every hour.  I also realized that I was donating to every charity that contacted me, and shopping online for neat things I neither wanted nor needed. Mindy did some quiet sleuthing while she was here and realized what was going on, so she had a very frank discussion with me and told me to stop writing checks to charity and stay off online shopping sites.  I will admit that I have ordered a few things recently, but I'm keeping track of what I've ordered and how much it costs so I don't get surprised with a $500 bill due at the end of the month.

The final piece to the new me is dealing with the diagnosis and realizing that I am going to have to be proactive as the weeks, months, years pile up to be sure that I'm staying as mentally sharp as is possible for me to be.  The doctor suggested playing memory games on the computer, and even though I'm not much of a gamer, I found one called Pyramid that I like. Numbers have always been an issue for me, and this game requires me to quickly add cards to total 13 to advance up the pyramid and clear the board.  At first, it was challenging as I couldn't remember what combinations of numbers equaled 13, but slowly but surely it has implanted in my brain and I don't have to think about it with every play.  I haven't lost the ability to express myself in writing, which is both a blessing and a positive outlet for excess energy.  There are things that I cannot remember, especially if it happened yesterday, or last week, or God forbid last month.  Sometimes Yucheng will remind me and then I can call up a memory, but not one replete with details. He's had to show me a dozen times how to get a picture off my phone and onto Facebook, but he's very good with repeating the instructions so I can do the process myself (hopefully; it's still a work in progress). When I can't remember something we said/did last weekend when he was home, he simply tells me about it so I can remember.  Yucheng and my dogs keep me active, and being active and involved in life is going to make a big difference in how I proceed through this new phase of my life.

I will be in regular contact with my primary physician, a man I respect to tell me the truth about the positives and the negatives associated with my diagnosis. I'm no longer in total disbelief or despair as time has allowed the reality to set in and become do-able. I'm going on Facebook every day, reading and responding to various posts and writing my own posts if there's anything of note worth putting out there. I continue to go about my own little routine in the house, but I make sure I get out and about once each day, even if it's just to go to the post office to pick up my mail.  I'm not making any major changes, but simply challenging myself to be present in each moment. Sometimes, I sit down with my dinner and ask myself what I did today and see how much I can recall.  It's going to be the old saw from days gone by:  One day at a time, dear Lord, one day at a time.  I can do this and I will do this and it's going to be okay.

Procrastination

Word of advice: don't put off cleaning up the clutter, especially from the past 40 years or so.  The job becomes overwhelming and takes weeks, not days.

Based on my recent experience, I found many, many old papers that simply needed to be either shredded (personal info) or trashed (generic paper).  I had kept things not knowing if I would ever need the information, so when it came time to purge the past, I had hours of recordkeeping to go through and make the shred/toss decision.  I used my personal shredder for a lot of the old paperwork, but when my daughter came to help me with the cleaning process, she told me I could take a lot of the personal papers to a company and have them do the shredding.  It was not expensive and it relieved both of us from hours pushing papers through the shredder.  Other papers, mostly from my 35-year career in public education, are being taken to the dump, which breaks my heart.  There is so much good material in those boxes, but time changes what's done and how it's done in the classroom, so I'm guessing it wouldn't be of value to anyone today.

I also saved many, many items that simply have no value, like empty tins, jars, and containers. When I was growing up, my mother saved empty jars for canning, but I haven't canned since I lived at home and that's been 50 years ago.  I used to bake and fill up the tins with goodies, but living alone negates the need to bake: I just go to the grocery store and buy one package of whatever cookie I'm craving. I also have decades of old photos, bins filled with photos I don't want/don't need.  I separated out some of the photos to send to my children, but I'm not sure they are going to want a huge bin filled with old photos to land on their doorstep.

I wasn't aware that I had become a hoarder, but my daughter made an entire shelf section in the garage into my own mini Costco!  It's one of those trips that is a bit farther away than the local store, so while I'm there, I may as well pick up another batch of paper towels, or Kleenex, or cleaning supplies.  I have enough plastic bags to last me at least a year. I truly wasn't aware that I was constantly buying more of the same item, but once it's on the shelf and I see the magnitude of the over-buying, it makes the point.  My daughter put a back-up list in my phone of things I don't need to buy at Costco.

And, I obviously wasn't on top of checking expiration dates on the things in my pantry and 'fridge. My daughter went through everything and tossed out at least half of what I had on the shelves, many of which were well over 5 years' of expiration.  I never checked the shelves, but seldom used anything from there either as I don't really cook like I used to when I had someone living at home. Now that I'm aware of expiration dates, I'll do a better job of staying on top of those items that either need to be used or tossed.

It is challenging to think about what lies ahead, when I either need to move out of this home and into a smaller space, or have to have help to stay in my own home.  Once I'm gone, there is still far too much stuff that my children will need to handle, and that's not fair to them. My message is to urge all able-bodied elderly persons to start now to declutter and discard. I was lucky to have my daughter come to help me with the process, but once I'm gone, she and her brother will be on their own, and it's a daunting task at best.

Productivity

Sometimes it's hard to self-motivate, especially when there's no one here to see my efforts and/or appreciate them, like, for instance, cooking meals.  Why bother? If I go to the Oriental take-out, a meal lasts me 3 days that I don't have to cook and/or think about buying, prepping, and then cooking a meal. If I get a $10 pizza from KMart, it not only tastes really good, but it also lasts me for about 4 days of meals. But I've had some wake-up news in my life recently, so it's time to get off my ample ass and do some things that haven't been done in far too long.

Today is Day One.  I emptied 6 drawers in my headboard bureau, one of which was filled with socks. Now how many pairs of socks can one person wear?  Evidently, I 'd need a pair of socks and without rummaging through the existing socks in the sock drawer, I'd go buy a new pair -- or six, since they come in nice big economy packs these days. End result:  I had enough socks to make it through an Ice Age!  I decided to keep 4 dozen assorted,  including whites and colored and patterns, some with just feet and others with tops, and the rest are in a huge plastic bag in the back of the RAV to donate to Angel View. I can't remember the last time I wore a scarf, so I kept 4 assorted scarves and put the rest into a box to donate. Ditto the rest of the drawers, which are now almost empty.

I'm not sure how many days I'll be able to face this daunting task, but it gives me time to ponder what is coming next in my life, as well as listen to "my" music from the 50s, 60s, and 70s, as well as one of my favorite groups, El Divo, and one of my favorite female artists, Norah Jones, whom I had forgotten as her CD was way down on the pile.  I've already listened to Elton sing "Electric Boobs," as it was sung in that wonderful movie about the girl getting married and her sister has to do all kinds of errands for her and she and the fiancé get a little tipsy in the bar and they sing Electric Boots at full volume… yeah, not all memories are coming all the way back!

Tomorrow, I'm going to face my other dresser, and then I'm going deep into the closet, which will be a two-day task.  I have things in there from when I was in college (whisper) 50 years ago.  I have one dress I bought for work (whisper) 25 years ago and never wore. And the beat goes on … .

I figure that once I make progress with one room, I'll be more inclined to do another.  I have a neighbor who comes in every couple of weeks to do a deep clean, and she said she'll help me in the kitchen as I'm not even going to contemplate standing on a step-stool to empty cabinets.  If you think the things in my closet have been there awhile, I have stuff on the top shelf of the cabinet that has probably been there for at least a decade!  Yeah, really.  When I broke my back, I gave up standing on things to reach high shelves, and that's been quite a while ago.  I'll just bring the trashcan into the kitchen and make it a two-step process: she climbs and hands me things and I toss them into the dumpster.

Deep down inside me, I keep thinking that maybe if I get a handle on this place, maybe I won't have to relocate. If moving isn't such a daunting task, maybe I won't feel as if I have to move to get out from under what it's taken me quite a while to create: one big MESS!

So, rest and relax and then work on Day Two. Meanwhile, I wish the dogs could dance with me as "our" music has a beat and a lot of pep. Not like that crap kids listen to today.  Aahh, that felt good!

Cognitive Misfires

I have been having trouble with my memory for about two years, little lapses that have increased in frequency and import.  One of my dearest friends had a chat with me as she has really noticed that I lose my place while engaging in conversation and often repeat what we've already discussed. I also have a tendency not to remember specifically how to do tasks, such as putting the choke chain on Sparkle the correct way so it doesn't hurt her.  I literally had to take a photo with my phone of the correct placement so I can use that to make sure I hook her up correctly. My friend made me promise to talk to my doctor when it was time for my next appointment, and to write down what needed to be said/covered, which I did.

Today was the dr. appt. with my favorite doctor. I told him that my friends had concerns that I'm starting to forget things, repeat things, claim no knowledge of ever having something as a part of my life.  He laughed and, after looking at my chart to check my birthdate, said that happens to a lot of people in my age range and has become part of the "new normal" as we age.  He double-checked medications to see if any of my prescriptions could be interfering with my cognition, and told me to stop taking the daily aspirin as that "may" have a cognitive link.  He also told me I no longer needed to take the milk thistle as my bloodwork  no longer has a link to a possible liver issue.  He did a couple of little tasks with me and was ready to bring me up to speed.

He strongly doubts that I have early dementia, but he's going to put me through a series of lab tests to see if anything is going on.  He says that "cognitive functioning" naturally diminishes as we age, and he's leaning toward that as a catch-all diagnosis.  He's going to prescribe Aracept as a precaution after he gets back the lab work I'll be doing tomorrow, lab work that includes a check for syphilis (really) because that can cause the symptoms of Alzheimer's.  We already have another appointment scheduled for 7 weeks from now to touch base again and he told me he's convinced I just have normal loss of cognition, and nothing serious or to be worried about.

I feel better for speaking up about the cognition issues and am especially relieved that he sees my lapses as typical loss of cognition, rather than early onset Alzheimer's Disease.  I'm not totally sure what the medical difference is, but one is a natural progression of aging while the other is a specific physical condition that can, and does, affect people and their quality of life.

Facebook Fail

I don't know what I expected when I made the decision to use Facebook as a vehicle to keep in touch with people in my world, but I'm a bit taken aback by all the posts on my pages from people I may--or may not--know.  I open my Facebook account and there are photos and messages between people I don't even know. I have a long list of people I don't know who want to be my friend, which strikes me oddly: how do they even know I am looking for friends?

All in all, I'm not enthused with my Facebook experience.  I joined a local community group to get information about what's going on in my residential area, and there are word fights going on between the person who started the page and other people who have joined it.  There's profanity, poor spelling, atrocious grammar, and just generally things I'm really not into at this stage of my life.

I keep getting messages on my cellphone about people who want to be my friend on Facebook, but there is no sign of them on Facebook and I have no idea how to "friend" them from my phone. Some of the contacts I'd like to be "friends" with because they are part of my past and I'd love to know what they are doing in the present; other people I don't even know, but it seems that having a person in common means you want to "friend" these strangers.

I am not a big fan of the Facebook experience.  I'm going to give it a try for a solid month before I make any final decisions about whether I'll keep my page or go dark.  If I had to make the call today, I'd say toodle-loo to the world of friends I don't know.

UPDATE: OMG, now my gmail account is filled with FB posts and people!  I didn't know that what shows up on my FB page will also become part of my email experience.  This is too much, too invasive; I don't know if I'll last the month of trying this experiment.

Hurricane Remnants

In the middle of the night the cell phone alarm announced a dangerous weather condition, but the warning was too late: a huge cell from the last hurricane in the gulf made its way to our neighborhood and it was impressive.  The remnants of the storm were ferocious, with lightning striking very close by and rain falling in massive amounts. The dogs were upset by the weather conditions and cuddled closer as we were all awake from the noise of the lightning.

This morning, as we took our walk, we could see where the sudden thunderstorm brought heavy rain with it.  The streets are covered in sand and weeds, but there is no standing water. In a way, the deluge of water refreshed the landscape, smoothing out the sand and leaving it looking groomed. The debris on the streets will soon be gone as the cars driving through the debris will break it into pieces that will then sweep away with regular traffic.

My best guess is that we were in the eye of the storm as it moved through. The lightning strikes were louder than usual, which means they were closeby, and one of the  strikes actually shook the house.  We're lucky that there was no damage caused by the storm. With all the sudden rain that came with the storm, we'll have yards full of desert weeds that crop up quickly after the rain falls -- and take hours to remove from the landscape when they get tall enough to use the weed-wacker.

Welcome Fall.

Updating Sparkle

The people next door have finally both said it’s okay to find a forever home as they simply are gone too much, leaving Sparkle on her own.  She won’t stay in their yard as she has no food/no water when they’re away, and she literally climbs the chain link fence to get out. I talked with the husband the end of last week and he said “take the dog,” which I did.  Evidently, he didn’t transmit that message to his wife, who sent over the oldest son to see Sparkle on his way to school. I went over and talked to her and she said they really don’t want the dog, but the kids love her, and I told her they can come over and play with her in my yard (which she so far has not escaped).

Meanwhile, Sparkle is always right beside me whether we’re in the house or outside. She likes to be up on my bed, too, along with Daisy and Cinnamon.  Sparkle learned quickly about our morning cookie routine and waits for her bite to be fed to her.  She’s very quiet for a big dog and loves chewing on my favorite pair of sneakers that I left out – it’s been a while since I’ve had a puppy.

Friday we’re going to the vet for a check-up, rabies shot, etc., and I asked for an x-ray for the leg that the children injured when they were “playing” with her about 3 months ago.  I’m sure it’s healed and nothing can be done to undo the injury, but I’ll feel better knowing what happened.  Sparkle used to hold her leg way up, but she now uses it and puts her paw on the ground when she’s walking, so it can’t be too serious, but I need to know.  I’m also going to have her neutered as I don’t want a litter of puppies to deal with.

UPDATE:  Sparkle's leg was broken when the children played with her too roughly.  There is nothing that can be done about it now -- except to have an expensive surgery by an orthopedic surgeon, which I'm not in a position to fund right now.  She uses the leg, so it's not impeding her movement, but it's not right.  I also got all the shots she needed, and had her chipped, and got a voucher for a discount on having her spayed.

I don’t want to have 3 dogs, especially with my upcoming trip, but sometimes we receive gifts we didn’t know we wanted, and mine is a female German Shepherd dog.

Uplifting

Yesterday, the new garage door system would not work.  I had been out and about and when I returned home, I hit the down button and nada: the garage door wouldn't shut.  I tried about a dozen times to get the equipment to work, but it would start to close and then go back up.  Frustrated, I called the installer business and asked for a service tech to come close the garage door for me.

He arrived and the system worked like a charm.  He raised the door, closed the door, raised the door, closed the door a dozen times and it worked perfectly.  Feeling like a fool, I told him that I had tried to get the door to shut and it hung up at the same place every single time I pressed the button.  He said he believed me, but he can't fix a problem that he can't see.

Okay, so now, every time I leave, I'm going to wonder if I have to cast a magic spell to get the door to close!  Technicians always say that the most challenging problem to fix is an intermittent problem as they have to be able to replicate the problem to find a fix for it.  I'm going out later this morning, so I'm just going to remain optimistic that the darned door will close for me.

Caught in the Act

The General Manager for some Denny's restaurants in our area called me.  She had received my comments from the Denny's website and wanted to apologize for the experience we had at the I-10 store. She said that she had negative feedback before, but mine was more specific and gave her something to work with.  She asked me to go back to the restaurant Monday and see if the experience was different. She would comp our dinners and we would be "secret shoppers."

I agreed and last night, we went to Denny's.  The crew must have been expecting us because we were treated like visiting royalty!  Every single person on the crew greeted us personally and came back during our dining experience to see how things were going.  Last visit? No service; This visit? Too much service.  I told Y we had been made and they knew who we were and were going way out of their way to provide us with the ultimate in service.  He asked me how they would know who we are, and told me that maybe I was just overreacting.

As we finished dining, the supervisor came over to our booth and thanked us for coming back and giving them a second chance to get it right. She apologized for our previous experience and told me we are always welcome at their restaurant.  Nope, we hadn't identified ourselves … but she knew.

I'm not sure how informative our feedback would be about this visit as they obviously knew who we were and went overboard to see that we had a good dining experience. The food was prepared properly, the service was good, and the experience was fine. I'll recommend to the GM that she send in another couple of secret shoppers to see if the crew performs as well for strangers.

The Escape Artist

Our morning and evening walks are the same route: around the block.  It's not fancy, and it only takes 20 minutes, but the dogs have set their routine and we follow it.  The past mornings, since I returned from my trip East, Sparkle has come bounding across an empty lot on the street behind me.  She is evidently getting out the back of her property as easily as she gets out the front.

The first time she met us, I didn't have a leash, so I unhooked Cinnamon and clipped the leash to Sparkle and finished the walk by depositing her back into her own yard.  Since then, I just carry a spare leash, hook her up, and finish the walk by putting her back into her  own yard.  This morning, however, I put her back into her yard and she literally climbed the trash cans against the fence and was back in my yard before I could get to the garage door!  She has a leg injury that somewhat limits her movement, but it doesn't slow her down getting out of her yard.

She's still here as the man I talked to next door doesn't speak English and just stands there, smiles at me, and says, "Si"  to whatever I try to communicate.

I'm going to be away today, and I don't want Sparkle in the house while I'm not here.  I pretty much have her potty trained by using the doggie door, and I've given her some serious chewy toys for those big canines to bite into, but I don't want to not be here when she decides to try chewing on my furniture or one of the many afghans I keep on the seating spaces.  However, if I lock her out of the house, I also have to lock my 2 dogs out as I have to block the doggie door to keep Sparkle in the yard.

If the next-door neighbors are going to keep her, they need to replace the 4-foot fence with at least a 5-foot fence, and then become more aware of the fact that they have a dog and it must be cared for.  Leaving a dog outside 24/7 is not a good way to keep an animal, so I don't blame Sparkle for wanting to come to my house, where there's always food/water and a person there to interact with.  She loves to come up onto the couch with me, and seems to favor putting her head into my lap where she'll get some head scratching and some baby talk.

But, as I said and continue to say, I already have 2 dogs and I don't want a 3rd.

Ready, Aim, Fire

Y was fired from his job this morning. The only “warning” he had came at a company dinner this past Friday evening when it was stated by the owner of the company that anyone who had made more than 3 errors during tax season would be fired. An interesting venue for the revelation – and the employees had to pay for their own dinners.

Y worked for the company for 10 weeks; during that time, he prepared about 350 tax returns. He used software he had never used before, but quickly learned and asked questions when he was not sure about something he needed to do. He was praised for his quick learning of his job, as well as told, “Chop, chop move faster” when he was first starting at the firm.

Needless to say, he was taken aback this morning when he arrived for work and was given his walking papers instead of congratulations on a job well-done.

This was not a good position with a preferred firm, and he already has been sending out cover letters and resumes, so it wasn’t a shock. He’s going to spend a couple more days in the LA area this week, then move back home, bringing his professional wardrobe and clothes steamer with him. I know he’ll find another position soon, so we’ll both move on from this experience and look forward to the next.

Cuba Fantastico!

I am back from my trip to Cuba and had the best time I've had in a while! (NOTE: I FORGOT TO POST THIS TRAVEL REPORT, SO AM DOING IT A COUPLE OF WEEKS LATE) The people of Cuba are so nice, so friendly, so caring that it made the time just fly by. I was in Cuba on a cruise that supports a people-to-people cultural exchange, so we had lots of lectures and demonstrations that we then followed up with in-port visits in Santiago del Cuba, Havana, and Sienfegios.

In Havana, I was shocked at the condition of the actual buildings: the best comparison I can make is that the city resembles Europe at the end of WWII: lots of crumbling infrastructure and residential areas. contrasted with government buildings and private residences that are well-maintained. But their living conditions don't seem to impact the people's attitude about life: they are joyous, friendly, and very interested in anything American. It is challenging to see how impoverished the people are without wanting to do something to change their living conditions.

In Santiago del Cuba, we saw a neighborhood that has been covered with ceramic mosaics -- and it is beautiful. All of the homes are covered in mosaic, as well as the walls around the various homes. There was a street market set up to accompany the mosaics, and it's obviously a big tourist attraction for the visiting cruise ships.

In Sienfegios, we went to a neighborhood that is working very hard to improve its appearance, with lots of maintenance done on the actual structures, then highlighted with brightly-colored paint that really catches one's eyes. In one neighborhood, we visited with a group that is working not just to improve the appearance, but to improve the quality of life where they live. The project was begun by a painter who lives there and uses what would be the livingroom of his home to have an art gallery that is open to the public. Some of the neighbors were playing in a small music band, while other neighbors were dancing in the street. Some of the gals from our ship, who had participated in the on-board dancing classes, joined in with an impromptu street event and really enjoyed being able to do the dance steps.

All in all, I'd love to go back and revisit all the various spots that I enjoyed on this trip. I understand more about the symbolism of the artists, who capture what it is like to be malnourished in spirit, as well as in body. I understand more what it is like when the government controls the income of its people -- and there isn't enough money to break free from the lifestyle and the government. I understand more why the people are willing to risk the journey of 90 miles to Florida, where they can live free and earn as much money as they are capable of earning to improve their station in life.

And I definitely feel the difference between a free America and a socialist Cuba, including the free medical and schooling for all residents, but the holding of the people hostage when it comes to earning income and bettering one's self.

A Hunnerd 'n Wot?

It is challenging to describe to anyone how hot it is when the temp is at 122 degrees. Yes, 122 degrees. Most people say something inane, like "it's a dry heat," not realizing how really hot dry heat is. Want to check it out? Put your face into your oven while you're baking cookies: it's dry heat, too, but still darned hot.

I'm staying inside as the sun can literally burn my skin in minutes. The older I get, the thinner my skin is, and I feel as if I'm holding my arms over an open flame. There is a definite burn wherever the skin and sun meet.

If I had a clothesline, my clothes would be dry before I could finish hanging a load. As it is, I have to run the dryer, which seems ridiculous when it's so hot outside.

My cooler is running non-stop. I have it set at 86 degrees as it's much cooler when compared to the outside temps, and I don't need to refrigerate myself to feel comfortable. There are cooling centers throughout the valley to help homeless residents deal with the heat, which is a necessity in this temp range, not a luxury.

Yep, it really is 122 degrees out, but we're reassured that the temps are cooling down -- expecting 118 tomorrow, a total cooling off trend!

Startled!

I made my way to the dentist office for a cleaning this morning, only to find that I had arrived a day early. Not to worry, I told the receptionist -- I'll go home and come back tomorrow. Arrived home, petted the dogs a bit, then decided to go in and read as I have a book I'm reading for an author as part of his ART, which is his Advance Readers' Team, and I need to comment.

Next thing I knew, I was shooting up into the air as if a cannon were underneath my body, yelling "Shit!", and grabbing for my shoes. I believed it was tomorrow and I was late for my dental appointment. It took a couple of minutes for my mind to clear enough for me to realize it was still today and I had the rest of today until I had to go to the dentist tomorrow.

Jet lag is crazy stuff. I know I was concerned about driving home from LAX on my arrival back from China, and I did, indeed, sleep until noon the next day, having gone to bed at 8 pm the night before. I thought I was over the worst of it, but I guess today caught me unawares and still in the throws of jet lag.