All Lives Matter

The first month of this new lifestyle took some getting used to, but I made adjustments and did just fine.  But now, it's three months later and I'm over it, getting antsy and crabby, and ready to have this whole COVID thing go away.  We've seen the protests, the rioting, the looting and it breaks my heart to think of all the store owners who now have lost everything, who have nothing to go back to to get their lives back.  They spent  those months of just waiting, scrimping and saving and salvaging whatever they could out of the situation -- and now have lost everything that could have been a way up and out of the morass created by COVID because the looting and burning of businesses have taken that away.  There is no picking up the pieces when you were  just making ends meet.  Insurance will only cover so much of the losses -- and where are the records to show what was lost in the looting?  Well, they burned up as well.

It breaks my heart to be in this world right now, to listen to people demand "justice" when their way of getting it is to destroy what has been part of this country for centuries.  Beautiful monuments and statues have been defaced, torn down, torn apart.  Cemeteries honoring the lives of those who died for this country have been  desecrated.  Cities that have fought to improve their appearance and become the heart of a people's prosperity have been looted and then destroyed.  And hoodlums who are looting, stealing, vandalizing and destroying are shoving signs at the newscasters proclaiming that "Black lives matter."  If they truly mattered, those very people who want so much would never have destroyed what they did have to get it.

I was told, as a child and young adult, that I would get what I worked for:  no one was going to give me a free ride, so I'd better prepare myself to work hard in order to have a better life.  First step in the process was an education -- and one size fit all.  There were no special circumstances, no getting off the hook in the hard classes, no free ride.  If you wanted an education, you had to work hard for it, but there came a sense of pride when you completed the requirements and got to graduate.  Sure, only a few could graduate at the top of their class, and the rest of us just sort of fell into line behind them, but we all had to earn it whether with high grades and honors or barely squeeking by.  Some never made it, but almost everyone tried--and a lot succeeded beyond their expectations.  Some went onto college, most often not at one of the prestigious colleges, but, rather, at a community college or a nearby 4-year program they commuted to attend--and others?  Well, often they turned to the military for basic training in a skill that they could practice for an enlistment before getting out of the service and using those skills in their communities.  Some, the lucky ones who thrived in the military environment, made it a career and retired after 20 years with a nice little pension, still young enough to take on a second career and have a good life with their families and friends.

No one gave it to another.  It was there for the taking, but it was all on the one who wanted what life had to offer.  Hard work never hurt anyone, but sloughing off, giving up?  that hurts everyone.  If any lives matter, they all matter regardless of the size, the shape, or the color--but no one owes anyone else anything when it comes to making it through life.  We all have to make our own way, and some do better than others and some do worse, but most of us?  We find a place for ourselves and make it the best it can be.  If we want more, we try to earn more, often by going back for some additional schooling and/or training.  Sometimes, we have to change jobs because we cannot be as successful in a job as we thought we could when we chose it.  Sometimes, we have to take what we can get and be glad we got it because others tried and failed, but we made it.   Barely, but we made it and had a sense of accomplishment that gave us pride in who we are and what we can do.

I'm sick about where we are today, what we have become, who we think we are, and how far we have sunk from the ideals that were the basic precepts of life when I was "coming up," as they say.  Everything I was taught to believe has been tossed into the ruins of a looted building to burn and destroy what this nation stands for.  No one owes you anything; if you want it, go out and learn and then earn.  Work your ass off and do the best possible job of which you are capable, and earn the fruits of your labor.  You won't always get rich from paychecks, but you'll have your self-worth, your self-esteem, your pride in yourself for a job well-done personally and professionally.

Stop proclaiming that you are owed something because ... fill in the blanks.  No one owes anyone anything, but we all have the right to earn what we want or need to make our lives matter.  If you want your life to matter, make it matter first to yourself, and then to others.  Stop burning and looting and destroying and start by rebuilding your own life into the life you need it to be.  Focus on improving yourself and stop pitying yourself for what you don't have, but want.  If you truly want it, if you need it, then go out and work for it.  You'll be proud of yourself and your accomplishments and be well-respected by your fellow citizens.  All lives matter, regardless of color or creed.

Life in the Time of COVID-19

Here it is, April 22, 2020. Earth Day.  I have been in self-isolation since March 16 and I'm ready to climb the walls.  I've piddled around and done a little of this and a little of that, but mostly, I have done nothing much at all.  I've watched TV, but that becomes repetitious all too quickly; I've read some books, but I usually fall asleep; and I've taken to having a daily nap with the dogs snuggled up close.  I also have developed the habit of watching CNN and being amazed at the politics of this COVID-19 event.

One of my favorite commentators is Chris Cuomo, who was diagnosed with the virus and lived it out on TV.  He spoke about the constant fever, the extreme constriction in his chest, and his fervent prayers to get through the viral attack.  He did prevail, and he's now fine, but still has some nagging little hangers-on from the experience.  His wife did test positive, but after 14 days of quarantine, she was tested as negative.  So far, no sign of the virus in the children. And he has interesting talking topics and guests on his show, so I watch him every day and see what's going on.

Meanwhile, on the home front, Y quit his job because the employer wanted everyone at work without masks and no social distancing.  He didn't feel safe in that environment, so asked to work at home 3/4-time, going into LA once a week for a check-in.  The management would not agree to that, so Y resigned.  He did apply for, and was approved for, unemployment.  He stays with me, but did pay a month's rent on his LA apartment, giving him some time to decide what he's going to do.  He has been in contact with some potential new employers and has applied for a master's degree program in LA.  Other than that, he cooks--and he's a good cook--but he's messy as all get out!!  He doesn't have the "finish" aspect of cooking down yet, the cleaning up of the mess he makes doing the food prep and distribution.  Often I volunteer to do the dishes so I know they all get done with hot water and dish soap, and are scrubbed clean in the process.  I also clean the stove and the countertops, which Y often overlooks.  We've had some wonderful meals and I really appreciate Y's cooking, so cleaning up the kitchen afterward is a small price to pay for not having to come up with plan and the ingredients to prepare meals.

The dogs love having us both in the house, and we've upped the walk to two a day, which is met with great glee.  It's funny how the dogs have internal clocks and know what time it is during the day.  They come get me when it's time for the walk, or time for our nap, or time for our snack or a meal. The little kids are home next door, so both Sparkle and Cinnamon have to go out and supervise when the kids are in the yard playing, and often that involves barking, which is annoying.  All in all, life is good for the dogs in the neighborhood.

So, life goes on with or without me.  I'm terrified of going outside and being around people, especially those without masks, as I'm 75 years old and have asthma.  If I get the virus, it could be fatal, and I don't want to get the virus.  I have been wearing a mask to walk the dogs even though we seldom see anyone else out when we're out, so probably don't have to wear it. Y goes with us for the walks, which is really nice.  We know all the yards and dogs around our block, and feel quite comfortable in our own little corner of the world.

But believe me, I'm ready to resume some semblance of normalcy.  I want to jump in the car and go down to the post office, the drugstore, the gas station, the grocery store.  I want to feel free to meet my 2 girlfriends for our weekly lunch and a movie.  I just want to feel normal again and not have to worry about the what if's.  As my mother always used to say, this too shall pass, and it will.  We'll always remember the time of the COVID pandemic and where we were and with whom, and how it affected our lives, but we will move on from this to new adventures and events.  Stay safe and stay strong, and this too shall pass.

Dementia

So, let’s talk about dementia.  I was diagnosed coming up on a year ago based on some cognitive testing my doctor did.  He said, “Let’s be proactive” and put me on Aricept, which is commonly prescribed for dementia patients.  For the first 6 weeks, I didn’t notice any difference, but slowly I began to settle into a routine, a calm routine that sees me staying more at home than out and about.  I worry about little things, like losing myself when I’m driving (I haven’t made any errors yet), so it’s easier to stay home than it is to go somewhere.  I have places that I go regularly, which makes it easier to feel confident about getting where I need to be when I need to be there.


But, there’s a mental void, a blank spot—especially when I try to recall things that have happened or remember appointments that I’ve made.  I have two appointments that are routine for me, and those I’m doing fairly well at navigating.  One is to my therapist, with whom I feel safe and don’t often stumble mentally; the other is my regular Tuesday lunch-and-a-movie with my two girlfriends.  I know most of the restaurants we frequent, as well as the three theaters we attend for our movies, so I don’t have any driving issues with this weekly treat.  When I’m off on my own, however, I worry about losing track of where I am and where I need to be, which adds tension to my driving.  So far, I’m doing really well and I pay special attention to what is going on around me.


Recalling things is trickier.  Yucheng will remind me of something we said/did the weekend before and I have no recollection of it.  We have our routines, which is very comfortable for me, but if we change it up, I can’t remember where we went/what we did. I know the names of people I’ve always known, but if someone introduces themselves, I can’t remember what their name is even if I repeat it a dozen times. And, I found out the hard way, I don’t remember what I did yesterday, so I may redo it today.  I went to the ATM to draw out some first-of-the-month cash, went about my business, then drove back to the ATM to get out my first-of-the-month cash, not remembering that I had already done that.  It was okay because it wasn’t a lot of money, but I was completed dumbfounded when I went to put the second batch of cash into my wallet and found money already there.


One huge problem I’m having is shopping online.  Everything looks so good and I want to get it for so-and-so, so I order it.  And then I go to another site and do the same thing again.  And I go to another site and do it a third time.  Before I know it, I’ve ordered several hundred dollars’ worth of stuff I really shouldn’t have bought—even if it was something to send to my kids.  The garage is full of empty boxes, which should have been my first clue that things were out of hand, but I didn’t connect the empty boxes to empty wallet!!  I’ve been talking with my therapist and she’s holding me accountable every two weeks when I see her, which is helping.  I have a sign on the computer, right in front of my face, that reminds me:  NO ONLINE BUYING!


What I am totally thankful for is that I can still write.  I’ve always been a writer, a reader, a talker, so it’s nice to continue to be able to do these things.  However, when I read, I forget what I read the page before the one I’m now reading, and unless I take notes to keep track of what I’m reading, I can finish a book and have no idea how it started or what happened.  Sometimes I can hold content for a few days, but within a week, it’s gone. When I’m talking, I do the “drop” in the middle of what I started to say and it’s just gone—poof!  No idea what I was saying, so I just stop talking.  But with writing, I can put down what I’m thinking as I’m thinking it, and then go back sentence by sentence if I need to do so to pick up the thread of what I am writing.  The words come to me without having to think about them, and I type fast enough to be able to keep up with my thoughts as they occur.


Part of what I’m experiencing is merely a factor of my age: I’ll be 75 on June 1, so there is going to be some loss of mental acuity.  I do word games, and play a game on the computer that is called Pyramid, which requires me to match playing card numbers and erase the pyramid.  I have to work in 13s, and you have no idea how long it took me to figure out which combos of cards add up to 13!  Of course, I’ve never been a numbers person, so it’s to be expected that area of my brain needs more nurturing than my writing or reading part.  I also have joined FaceBook and really enjoy “conversing” with people on that platform.  I always try to find a powerful, positive thought to leave on others’ pages, something that will “up” their day—and mine as well.  I don’t really know most of the people, but there are quite a few former students in contact with me via FB, and that has been fun.


All in all, I’m doing fine.  I feel good and alert most of the time, but also find myself becoming stressed out in new situations or around new people.  If I know I have to remember, it seems to block my ability to recall information and/or names.  I feel that my minimal memory issues are fairly typical for my age, so I’m not overly concerned yet with the aspects of dementia that may be coming down the road.  I am healthy and I take care of myself, which is important to me on a daily basis.  I walk the dogs, run errands, go out with friends and Yucheng, and generally am feeling good.  I still have a positive attitude about this whole new phase of my life and will continue to keep on keeping on as long as I am able to do so. After that?  Well, I’ll just have to build a bridge and see where that leads me.

Hwy 62 Open Studio Art Tours

In the Hi-Desert area of Morongo Valley, Yucca Valley, Joshua Tree and Twentynine Palms, there is an annual Open Studio Art Tours, most often held in October.  This year’s event is huge:  over 200 presenters and about 125 stops along the way.  I have friends who are artists, so I asked one of them if she wanted to join me for this year’s tour.  It took us almost an hour to whittle down the presenters and places to stop and see, and then Patty developed our touring plan so we could go in the most direct routes to see the artists we had selected from the catalog.

What a wonderful time we had.  Seeing the art in the artist’s studios is unique; each stop along the way creates its own environment for the artwork the artist has chosen to display.  We saw many different kinds of art, including photography, painting in all media, textiles, sculptures, assemblages, crochet, metalwork, ink, ceramics – well, it was all on display.  One of my favorites were art pieces made by inserting tiny nails into the canvas to make the design and also to create light and dark shadows.  I don’t remember who the artist is, but the finished pieces are stunning.

We traveled on some true desert roads out into the middle of nowhere, the setting of which was perfect for an artist.  One residence perched on the side of a rock formation and featured a sculptor who uses huge pieces of rock media for his work.  I wondered how a crane could get down the rural mountain road to either deliver a new piece of rock or pick up a finished work of art.

I bought some little things to take with me to China, to show Y’s family what “desert” means, including some crocheted cacti and some greeting cards with original paintings on them.

One of the most interesting displays is a workshop where the woman makes all kinds art pieces from castings.  She has a statue of David, with the original mold made from the actual statue of David in Europe.  Her grandfather opened the shop and, back in the day, worked for the movie studios. When one of the movie companies wanted a statue of David,  the grandfather went to Europe and was granted permission to make the mold. Needless to say, it’s one of the prized possessions of the current artist.

I could go on and on about what’s offered and how interesting it is to go into the working studios of all these artists, but it’s an event that is best enjoyed in person.  It’s fun to go out into the middle of nowhere and find these hidden studios nestled among all the sand and rocks.  It really gives the art character to see it in that setting, especially since so many of the artists are inspired by the nature around them.


There’s one more weekend, so if you are within driving distance, I highly recommend taking a piece of the self-guided tour.  Or, plan for next Fall.  For more information, you can go online to www.yucca-valley.org, or to www.Visit29.org to Art Cruise the 29 Palms area every 1^st Saturday.  There are many art installations and artists living in the Hi-Desert area, so feel free to explore the internet to find something that catches your eye.

A Gentle Reminder

It's just about 6 months since the doctor put me on Aricept for my early onset dementia. The first month, I didn't notice any significant difference in my functioning, so I went online and did some research into proactive steps I could take to slow down what is a progressive disease. I found one website that offered a supplement, called Youthful Brain, and after reading all the literature about it, I ordered a bottle to see what happens.

What happened is that the "fog" in my brain began to lift, although this could be coincidental with the Aricept kicking in.  I still have minor lapses in my cognitive functioning, but that is also considered as a normal part of brain deterioration that comes with advancing age.  I am pleased to see improvement as my fear at diagnosis was "worst case" scenario, especially after seeing my mother's deterioration during her final years.  I am healthy in all other respects to my body, so I feel that gives me a bit of an advantage in dealing with the dementia.

And then today came when … I  got up and showered, dressed, and took off for my bi-weekly appointment in Palm Springs.  I stopped and bought a coffee and an order of churros to share with my therapist, and arrived right on time to the office.  I didn't think too much of it as the clock ticked its way toward my appointment time, but when my therapist didn't come get me at my scheduled time, I was … concerned. I hoped that nothing had happened in her life to keep her from the office, but decided to sit and wait until a quarter past the hour to see if she was just held up  with an emergency.

At quarter past the hour, I walked down the hallway to her office and tried the doorknob, which was locked.  I shrugged my shoulders, decided to leave her a note, and prepared to depart.  Things happen to all of us, so I wasn't particularly concerned, but hesitated when another person came down the hallway to what I assumed was his office.  I politely asked him if my therapist had let him know that she wouldn't be in today, and he looked at me a bit confused, then told me that she never comes in on Mondays.  I responded, "But today is Tuesday and I have my regularly scheduled appointment with her."

"No," he replied, "it's Monday."

You know how your brain does that "rolodex" thing when you are confused and starts whirling through the facts and information that you store within trying to make sense of what  you are hearing? That's what happened to me.  I blurted out, "Are you sure?  I'm pretty sure it's Tuesday."

And, of course, he assured me that it's Monday. I left the office after thanking him for helping me and walked to my car feeling totally bewildered.  I backed out of my parking space, put the gear into drive and started home.  Twice on the way home I made a wrong turn and was momentarily "lost."  I was able to turn myself back around and made it home with no further issues, but I'm completely bewildered by what happened.

I'm at home and feel all "here and now," so I'm pretty sure this was just one incident that may not happen again.  I think that when I got the day of the week wrong, I just internally became a bit panicked and that caused me to make the wrong turns on the way home.  I feel present and not at all confused, but I am home and that's my safe place.  I will continue with my medication and supplement, and focus better on being present in the moment.  When it's time for my next doctor appointment, I'll be sure to include this incident in the conversation if there are any further occurrences like the one today.  One event does not make a pattern, and now that I'm aware that there can be issues, I'll be more alert and double-check what I'm doing and where I'm going.

Summer of '69

Summer of ’69 is a novel written by Elin Hilderbrand. Reading the dust cover synopsis, it sounded like a nice summer read; however, actually turning the text page by page is a different experience.  The story is ponderous, the prose is redundant, and the actual plot is quite thin.  I started the novel, lost interest, read a couple of other books, and then returned. Starting over, I expected the story to be better than I remembered, but it isn’t, so I’m done reading at page 300 of the total 418.

The redundant prose is annoying:  “Pick’s eyes, she notices, are Lorraine’s eyes, the frosted blue of sea glass,” followed immediately by “He’s as brown as a berry.”  She says “That’s either wonderful or the saddest thing Kate has ever heard; she can’t decide which."

The ponderous story drags by, sentence by sentence.  “So this is Bitsy Dunscombe fueled by one too many, Kate thinks. She gets ugly—not only her language, but her face as well. Her expression contorts into a hideous mask with narrowed, accusing eyes and twisted lips. If she says anything about Tiger, Kate will slap her or throw a drink in her face. The piano player will stop right in the middle of ‘Try to Remember,’ and the revelers at table 1 will gape first and gossip later, and who could blame them?”

The actual plot is a typical coming-of-age story about a 13-year-old girl who has a crush on an older boy. She is so typical that there’s nothing unique about her, and she certainly isn’t worthy of hanging an entire novel on. So far, the most exciting thing to happen to her is she gets her period and then her first bra, and I’m ¾ of the way through the novel

I simply cannot force myself to finish reading this story at this time. It reminds me of Downton Abbey, a series I dreaded.  I watched several episodes, but never bonded with either the characters or the plot, even though I have friends who were entranced by the series and wouldn’t answer the phone for anyone when Downton Abbey was on.

I’ll pass this book on to someone who will appreciate it and pick up my next read, James Patterson’s The Inn.  I’ll let you know how that goes.

The Facebook Experience

Several months ago, I decided to use FB on a daily basis to help with my cognition issues.  I get to read posts, respond to those that seem to want a response, and feel connected with other people outside of my four walls.  At first, it was kinda fun, especially when I recognized names from my teaching days. I made it my mission to write positive responses where warranted, like other posts, and ignore some of the more gross posts.

Why, I wondered, do people use such foul language and write such nasty things on a public forum? The cusswords abound even where they aren't necessary. People write about intimate things that I would keep private. They throw verbal stones at anyone who doesn't agree with them, and disparage people who write honest posts about their lives and the challenges they are having just getting through the days.

I was naïve when I made the decision to participate in FB.  I actually thought it would be a positive experience, and, in many instances, it has been.  I've enjoyed hearing from former students and learning about their now lives.  I have been able to see what my family members are doing in their lives without having to write long letters back and forth. I've enjoyed seeing photos of the comings and goings of people I know, but am not friends with present day. But I've been completely turned off by the grossness of perhaps as much as one-third of the content.

Today, I'm thinking about whether I want to continue to visit Facebook or let it go.  Part of me wants to stay connected with former students and family members, but the other part of me wants to let go of the offensive nature of the Facebook experience. I'm taking today off as a think-about day and then will make my decision whether to continue to visit the site or let it go.

Phishing

I was just phished!  I drove up the hill to have lunch with a friend, and when I returned there was a receipt in my inbox for $120 for a heft of coins--whatever that is.  Seems that I used my Apple App while I was driving home to order the coins to play pool, which, of course, didn't happen.

I immediately called Apple and was directed to Erika, who was very patient with me as she went through all of the instructions s-l-o-w-l-y and then decided to mirror my phone to speed things up a bit.  She (and I) walked through the process as she described the steps, and determined that I had not been charged, but phished.  Erika reported it, assured me I don't have to pay the charge, and then backed out of my phone, leaving me with a contact email and a case number if I have to come back to this.

It seems to me that with this phishing process going on all the time, the computer companies could come up with a fix so that phishing no longer is a viable option.  The receipt I received looked legit, which is why I immediately called Apple -- and had it been something else that was charged, not an Apple App, I probably wouldn't have thought twice about it, but since I don't use Apple App, I knew it wasn't a charge that I had made.

And, there was the whole driving home from Yucca Valley part that I factored in, but my phisher didn't know … .

Beauty is in The Eye of The Beholder

Today was hair color and cut day, but it didn't go as well as planned.  I arrived at the salon at 10:15 for my 10:30 appointment, confirmed with a phone call yesterday, only to find out that my stylist had made a mistake and my appointment was at 11:30.  Not a big deal.  I was hungry, so I asked her if there was a café nearby, and there was, so I walked over to it and decided that a spinach omelet was just what I wanted.  No, no potatoes, no bread, no hot sauce: just a regular spinach omelet.  When it was served, it looked okay, but when I took a bite I discovered that there was no cheese, so it was quite dry and chewy. I went back inside (I had been told to sit outside as there was no single seating inside) and asked the waitress if she could put some cheese on the omelet as it seemed to have been omitted. She said yes, but there would be an extra charge. I declined, went back outside, took a few more bites, and decided I'd had enough--and walked back to the salon wishing that Sparkle was with me to eat the rest of the omelet.

When it was finally my turn in the chair, I showed the stylist a picture of a heavily-layered style that I really like and asked if she could cut my hair into that style. She said "Of course," but then warned me that it would take me some time each morning to fix my hair--and I'd have to use product and tools.  I told her I was willing to chance it as I really  like the style, and she set to work.  Color first because NO ONE in the desert of the female variety is allowed to have GREY HAIR! Whatever: it's only money to get the whole enchilada.

After a thorough rinse of the color processing, she began cutting and I asked her what style she had decided to cut.  She said she was going to "heavily layer" my hair, cutting into the natural curl, which is what she's done in the past and I really like.  She kept snipping and cutting, stepping back to check her progress, then doing some more snipping and cutting.  When she finished, I still had hair (which hasn't been the case in my past), but it was cut kinda funny and was quite straight: no natural curl evident.  It's a bit longer, which I like, but the top is really short (which I don't like), and I HAVE FRIGGIN' BANGS!  No woman of a certain age should have bangs!  They aren't flattering and they sure aren't cute, but there I was, staring at short straight hair with bangs.

Well, I have several cuts from Mary that I have loved, so I guess I'll have to give her this one. Tomorrow morning I'll wet it, walk the dogs, and see what nature and the winds do to style it. I already made a follow-up appointment for the Monday before I leave for the East Coast, so I'll wait to see if I want to keep that appointment based on the intervening month of me doing whatever the heck I can do with what I've got to work with.

Productivity

Sometimes it's hard to self-motivate, especially when there's no one here to see my efforts and/or appreciate them, like, for instance, cooking meals.  Why bother? If I go to the Oriental take-out, a meal lasts me 3 days that I don't have to cook and/or think about buying, prepping, and then cooking a meal. If I get a $10 pizza from KMart, it not only tastes really good, but it also lasts me for about 4 days of meals. But I've had some wake-up news in my life recently, so it's time to get off my ample ass and do some things that haven't been done in far too long.

Today is Day One.  I emptied 6 drawers in my headboard bureau, one of which was filled with socks. Now how many pairs of socks can one person wear?  Evidently, I 'd need a pair of socks and without rummaging through the existing socks in the sock drawer, I'd go buy a new pair -- or six, since they come in nice big economy packs these days. End result:  I had enough socks to make it through an Ice Age!  I decided to keep 4 dozen assorted,  including whites and colored and patterns, some with just feet and others with tops, and the rest are in a huge plastic bag in the back of the RAV to donate to Angel View. I can't remember the last time I wore a scarf, so I kept 4 assorted scarves and put the rest into a box to donate. Ditto the rest of the drawers, which are now almost empty.

I'm not sure how many days I'll be able to face this daunting task, but it gives me time to ponder what is coming next in my life, as well as listen to "my" music from the 50s, 60s, and 70s, as well as one of my favorite groups, El Divo, and one of my favorite female artists, Norah Jones, whom I had forgotten as her CD was way down on the pile.  I've already listened to Elton sing "Electric Boobs," as it was sung in that wonderful movie about the girl getting married and her sister has to do all kinds of errands for her and she and the fiancé get a little tipsy in the bar and they sing Electric Boots at full volume… yeah, not all memories are coming all the way back!

Tomorrow, I'm going to face my other dresser, and then I'm going deep into the closet, which will be a two-day task.  I have things in there from when I was in college (whisper) 50 years ago.  I have one dress I bought for work (whisper) 25 years ago and never wore. And the beat goes on … .

I figure that once I make progress with one room, I'll be more inclined to do another.  I have a neighbor who comes in every couple of weeks to do a deep clean, and she said she'll help me in the kitchen as I'm not even going to contemplate standing on a step-stool to empty cabinets.  If you think the things in my closet have been there awhile, I have stuff on the top shelf of the cabinet that has probably been there for at least a decade!  Yeah, really.  When I broke my back, I gave up standing on things to reach high shelves, and that's been quite a while ago.  I'll just bring the trashcan into the kitchen and make it a two-step process: she climbs and hands me things and I toss them into the dumpster.

Deep down inside me, I keep thinking that maybe if I get a handle on this place, maybe I won't have to relocate. If moving isn't such a daunting task, maybe I won't feel as if I have to move to get out from under what it's taken me quite a while to create: one big MESS!

So, rest and relax and then work on Day Two. Meanwhile, I wish the dogs could dance with me as "our" music has a beat and a lot of pep. Not like that crap kids listen to today.  Aahh, that felt good!

OH, BOY! Did the rain come down...

The Coachella Valley is ringed with mountains, ranges that get snow in the winter and are considerably cooler in the summer than the desert floor.  From these mountain ranges in winter, we get rain run-off, as well as snow melt later in the year, that flows through the washes that cross the desert floor.  Yesterday, we had horrendous amounts of rain in the desert and mountains, and the run-off  raging water through the washes that attach to the mountains has caused significant damage and road closures.

There are major thoroughfares that cross Interstate 10 between Desert Hot Springs and the plethora of little cities on the western side of 10, including Palm Springs, Palm Desert, Cathedral City, Indian Wells, La Quinta, Indio, and others.  The rain combined with the run-off to turn those washes  into raging rivers that simply are not passable.  For all the workers who live either "up the hill" in the Yucca Valley area or in DHS, their access to their jobs was denied by the raging water and the debris it brought into the washes.

Of course, there are those who think they are smarter than the forces of nature and, thus, tried to navigate the swollen rivers. There were many rescues of people who made bad decisions, but their vehicles will have to be replaced once the waters recede and the debris fields, which now include their vehicle, are cleared off the roadways.  I'm not sure why people think the numerous travel warnings not to engage with the fierce run-off doesn't apply to them, but there are always people who think they can make it when no one else can.

The roads will be back open as soon as the crews can make that happen; however, until the roads are clear, people are going to be backed-up in long, slow lines of cars going one at a time through the limited access to the other side of the freeway.  Yesterday, many of the students throughout the Valley were sent home for safety, and I'm pretty sure they are staying home today, too, which makes this weekend a long one as Monday is also a holiday.

Don't mess with Mother Nature is still good advice.  Too bad so many individuals don't heed that advice.  Live and learn, but there's always a price tag associated with that lesson.

Facebook Fail

I don't know what I expected when I made the decision to use Facebook as a vehicle to keep in touch with people in my world, but I'm a bit taken aback by all the posts on my pages from people I may--or may not--know.  I open my Facebook account and there are photos and messages between people I don't even know. I have a long list of people I don't know who want to be my friend, which strikes me oddly: how do they even know I am looking for friends?

All in all, I'm not enthused with my Facebook experience.  I joined a local community group to get information about what's going on in my residential area, and there are word fights going on between the person who started the page and other people who have joined it.  There's profanity, poor spelling, atrocious grammar, and just generally things I'm really not into at this stage of my life.

I keep getting messages on my cellphone about people who want to be my friend on Facebook, but there is no sign of them on Facebook and I have no idea how to "friend" them from my phone. Some of the contacts I'd like to be "friends" with because they are part of my past and I'd love to know what they are doing in the present; other people I don't even know, but it seems that having a person in common means you want to "friend" these strangers.

I am not a big fan of the Facebook experience.  I'm going to give it a try for a solid month before I make any final decisions about whether I'll keep my page or go dark.  If I had to make the call today, I'd say toodle-loo to the world of friends I don't know.

UPDATE: OMG, now my gmail account is filled with FB posts and people!  I didn't know that what shows up on my FB page will also become part of my email experience.  This is too much, too invasive; I don't know if I'll last the month of trying this experiment.

Now Year's Resolution

It's a new year and time to reflect and then refresh one's life.  This year, I came up with 3 wishes for the New Year:  no more online buying; no further contact in any form with Publisher's Clearing House; and contact my children at least once a week, with a corollary, to use Facebook to facilitate that contact.

Of course, in order to use Facebook, I have to "do" Facebook and I have stubbornly resisted that engagement with all the force of will within me.  However, it is time for me to join the 21st Century and not just know that people only contact one another with electronic devices, but they also like to know what you're up to now and then.  Facebook is a media that can facilitate both of those goals.

My son spent an hour on the telephone walking me through the process of getting set up and started, but I'm disappointed that I don't have a page with things unique to me.  I immediately received a lot of other people's thoughts, feelings, and rages, and I'm not sure if I have to respond to those or can ignore them.  I need to put up a picture, but the only photo I have of me that I like is my senior year at Cal Lutheran photo, which I no longer resemble in any way, shape, or form.  I'm old now and wrinkles accent my facial features in ways that are not necessarily charming.  My face, which used to be an elongated oval, is now square, which matches my body that also used to be a lean, mean running machine and is now … squishy.

And when it comes to stimulating conversation with peers, I'm good with "Good girl, Sparkle." and "come here, Cinnamon," followed by lots of ooing and cooing and cuddling.  My life, which used to be an open book into the world, is narrowed to the confines of SoCal as I'm not as confident driving on the freeways as I used to be.  A big trip is across the highway to visit the communities on the west side of I-10, which is also where all the shopping is.  I love going to Costco and spending money there with reckless abandon just because there is nowhere to spend money in my community (other than the grocery store and KMart).

Somehow, I have to turn almost 74 years of life into stimulating, interesting, charming Facebook posts that attract people who know me to visit my page and feel as if they have been enriched by the experience.  We'll see how this happens as the days progress.  Wish me luck?

PS: I did use the college senior photo because that's what I wanted to do.  The rest of the world can simply deal with it.

Malek is Magic

Is there anyone who hears a Freddie Mercury/Queen song and doesn't stand and sing along?  The music is so powerful and has not lost its attraction in the years since Freddie Mercury died and took the unfinished music with him.

Yesterday was a rainy day and perfect for seeing the bio-pic Bohemian Rhapsody.  I was a bit leery after going to A Star is Born and hating it, but the Queen music is so strong and powerful it can carry a concert like few other artists can.  When Rami Malek took the screen, he had the same commanding presence that Freddie Mercury had.  Malek's portrayal of the founder of Queen was spot on, and I believe that the performance at Live Aid was used in the film, rather than reshooting it with Malek in the role as Malek was that good.  That may not be factually accurate, but I'm a bit of a romantic and want to think that the filmmakers knew they couldn't redo that event and come close to doing it justice. But that scene was magic and commanding and just darned good.  Malek is Mercury.

The theatre was packed and the film earned a standing ovation at the end.  I left the theater vowing to go see the film again as I was totally into it and stunned with Malek's capture of Freddie Mercury.

Doggone Confusing

Headlines can be interesting to read, especially if the reader has no clue what the story is about.  Take this headline from a local newspaper:  LQ couple found dead ID’d; dog safe. What would a reader expect the content of the article to be?

Someone tried to harm a couple’s dog, but the criminal was halted in his/her efforts to kill the dog by the couple, who then died from injuries inflicted during the fight over the dog's life.   Or, a couple was accosted by a criminal, who killed them but left the dog to survive the crime. Or, the couple committed suicide/murder, but didn't kill their beloved dog.   We'll never know what happened, but we know for certain that the dog is safe.

Of course I can fill in the blanks and feel reasonably comfortable with thinking that a couple was killed—somehow, and the dog, which was in the house, was not involved in the … murder, murder/suicide … , and the couple has now been identified by the process that is used to determine who the victims of a violent crime are. It just tickles me not only that the dog became part of the story, but it shares the headline with a double-death report.

Not to mention the "LQ couple" teaser.  Any ideas what that could be?

Back in the day, a good copy editor would rewrite the headline to focus on the death of the victims and omit the dog as not really relevant. What is a copy editor, you may ask?  One who has a reasonable command of the language in which the newspaper is written so s/he can read what is in the paper before it is published, thus avoiding embarrassing and/or confusing and/or just plain incorrect content (copy).

UPDATE: the couple, who lived in La Quinta, were victims of a murder/suicide and the dog was not killed in the commission of the crime.

I Hereby Resolve

Okay, so here’s the deal:  I’m fat and I don’t seem to be able to lose weight like I used to do with little effort.  I’ve tried eating only 3 times a day, and I’ve been careful what I eat (although I admit to a fondness for sweets at 10 o’clock each day with my mid-morning coffee), cutting back to about half of what I was eating.  I’m not a stress eater, nor am I a snacker of the salty-fat variety, but I have really bad food habits as I live alone and don’t like the effort involved in fixing a good (healthy) meal for myself three times a day.  I’ve tried protein shakes, healthy-eating diets, upped my exercise, and generally given it the old college try, but my belly is huge and my face is big and round where it used to be lean and narrow.

So, it’s time to do something again and, after thinking about it far too much, I decided to try something I’ve never tried before and see if something new and different works for me this time. I did some searching of the internet and ran across a Dr. “Rans” (phonetic spelling of his name as I don’t recall seeing it written anywhere). I listened to his lecture about “activating the AMPK gene and losing weight.” Didn’t sound any worse than other options I researched so I took a few notes and got this:

To lose weight, one must attack fat on a cellular level, particularly in deep belly fat situations. AMPK is the “master switch” of the body, so if one activates the AMPK gene, s/he can lose weight and live longer. Everyone has the number of fat cells they had from conception, so there’s no gaining/losing weight based on the amount of food one consumes, but on the number of calories and how they are stored.  Fat cells can expand and contract, and if cells are overfed, they lose function. AMPK is the “master switch” of the body, so if one activates the AMPK gene, one can lose weight and live longer.

All right, that’s a brief overview.  I listened for the full 45 minutes and the whole presentation made sense to me, so I decided I’m going to try this approach this year as what I’ve done in the past hasn’t seemed to help. According to this information, exercise improves health, reduces disease, and helps memory, but doesn’t help one lose weight.  I want to continue with my exercise routine, and may even up that a bit, but I also want to lose weight, and that happens on a cellular level. Hence the AMPK.

There are three keystones to this method, focusing on naturally occurring compounds that are available: berberine, which is the roots of plants and usually used as a diabetes treatment; gynostemona, an extract from plants that is an AMPK stimulator; and quercetin, which activates AMPK and reduces general sickness. This can’t be any worse than any of the other dozens of products and methods I’ve used to try to control my weight, so I’ll give it a go and see what happens.  I ordered enough for several months, and once I’ve put my money into something, I see it through.

My ultimate goal: not to stand on a scale and see that I’m down a pound or two, but to stand up tall and straight and be able to look down and see my shoes!  Surely that isn’t asking too much … .

Christmas

Y has to work both Mon and Wed, so we decided to have our Christmas on Sunday.  I had purchased about a dozen gifts for him (mostly clothing) and stacked them around a small ceramic lighted tree I put in the living room.  He was so excited to get to open packages, even though all the items were practical, and holiday paper was flying all over the carpet as he tore into his packages in a flurry of activity.

I had purchased a couple of novelty items, including two Nestles chocolate chip cookie cast iron  "frypans" for us to each make a single cookie, and a set with novelty Christmas mugs, hot chocolate, and S'Mores. It was fun to work together to bake our cookie and fix our hot chocolate (which tasted like sour milk, so we didn't drink it.  Sour milk was my fault as I used some milk in cooking a couple of weeks ago and didn't buy fresh milk for our hot chocolate.)  Y also made toffee to take to his co-workers as well as enough to give to 2 of my desert friends who love it when Y makes toffee because it's so good. Once the cookies were baked, we fixed the leg o'lamb and put it into the oven for our dinner, which also features mashed potatoes and fresh broccoli.

This year, I promised myself I would actually send gifts to my children and their families, so I spent the month of November shopping online and finding gifts that are probably a whole lot more practical than fun.  The postage to send the 2 boxes, one to each recipient, cost me $100, so I quickly remembered why I always send money!  If I had been thinking better, I probably could have had the gifts shipped to their home addresses, but live and learn. Watch out for my newly-acquired experience next year … right?

So, how did it go with me "doing Christmas" for the first time in a long while?  I enjoyed myself a lot. I had fun picking out presents and I really loved the look on Y's face as he opened all his packages. It wasn't the cost as much as it was the joy he shared with me as he admired all of his gifts. The gift he likes best is a toss-up between the 2 long-sleeved sweaters I bought for him and the 2 pairs of lounging pj's.  He's determined that he can wear the loungewear "out" of the house, maybe even with one of the sweaters that I got for him, but I've told him that what he's wearing is definitely pajamas--and he doesn't want to wear his pjs out and about the community!

What did Santa bring me?  The most gorgeous, all-leather, navy blue Coach handbag.  There are small shaped tea rose flowers on both sides of the bag, along with  hand-painted floral detail.  It is the most gorgeous handbag I've ever had and I think it should only be used for dress-up events, but Y told me to use it every day because if anything happens to it, he'll buy me another bag.  He really is a sweetheart who takes very good care of me and my dogs. and I'm glad he's in my life.

Happy Holidays to all of you from G'ma, Y, Cinnamon and Sparkle

Me Too

My perception of the Me Too movement is that there are far more females putting themselves out as victims of sexual assault than the bandwagon can hold.  If we are to believe the numbers by the rallies they hold and the protests they make, one would be hard-pressed to find a woman who has not been a victim of some sort of sexual assault.

And I don't believe that.

I would ask these protestors how many of them made credible accusations and/or involved law enforcement at the time of the alleged assault. Suddenly coming forward 20-40 years after an alleged assault diminishes its credibility to being a "me too" accusation without merit. It's really easy to jump on a bandwagon these days, making accusations without any credible proof, and these kinds of actions can destroy a person's life.  Public demonstrations bring out people who need public approval of their lives; people who truly are traumatized don't seek the limelight.

Ms. Ford, however, came across as a credible witness in her testimony at the confirmation hearing for Judge Brett Kavanaugh.  She was not hysteric and histrionic, but composed and right on point with her accusations and evidence of sexual assault all those years ago in a school setting.  Yes, she was clearly emotionally engaged in her testimony, and I believe her truth in a way I would not have had she been one of the group at the elevator who accosted Senator Flake and screamed their accusations of sexual assault at him.

Regardless of what the FBI background check affirms, Brett Kavanaugh is finished in his quest for the Supreme Court. His behavior while on the stand at the hearing demonstrates that he is too egocentric and arrogant to be a good Supreme Court jurist. He also has too much dirty laundry hanging off the lines to be at the highest level of jurisprudence, and I doubt he'll even be returned to his current Court position in light of the past week's revelations.

UPDATE:  So, I am wrong.  Kavanaugh is already sworn in as the newest Supreme Court Judge. Let's just hope that his old drinking buddies don't suddenly start talking about the good ole days when they've had a few too many beers.

Updating Sparkle

The people next door have finally both said it’s okay to find a forever home as they simply are gone too much, leaving Sparkle on her own.  She won’t stay in their yard as she has no food/no water when they’re away, and she literally climbs the chain link fence to get out. I talked with the husband the end of last week and he said “take the dog,” which I did.  Evidently, he didn’t transmit that message to his wife, who sent over the oldest son to see Sparkle on his way to school. I went over and talked to her and she said they really don’t want the dog, but the kids love her, and I told her they can come over and play with her in my yard (which she so far has not escaped).

Meanwhile, Sparkle is always right beside me whether we’re in the house or outside. She likes to be up on my bed, too, along with Daisy and Cinnamon.  Sparkle learned quickly about our morning cookie routine and waits for her bite to be fed to her.  She’s very quiet for a big dog and loves chewing on my favorite pair of sneakers that I left out – it’s been a while since I’ve had a puppy.

Friday we’re going to the vet for a check-up, rabies shot, etc., and I asked for an x-ray for the leg that the children injured when they were “playing” with her about 3 months ago.  I’m sure it’s healed and nothing can be done to undo the injury, but I’ll feel better knowing what happened.  Sparkle used to hold her leg way up, but she now uses it and puts her paw on the ground when she’s walking, so it can’t be too serious, but I need to know.  I’m also going to have her neutered as I don’t want a litter of puppies to deal with.

UPDATE:  Sparkle's leg was broken when the children played with her too roughly.  There is nothing that can be done about it now -- except to have an expensive surgery by an orthopedic surgeon, which I'm not in a position to fund right now.  She uses the leg, so it's not impeding her movement, but it's not right.  I also got all the shots she needed, and had her chipped, and got a voucher for a discount on having her spayed.

I don’t want to have 3 dogs, especially with my upcoming trip, but sometimes we receive gifts we didn’t know we wanted, and mine is a female German Shepherd dog.

The Pants Order

I hate to shop on-line because I never know what the product really looks like, nor how it will fit. However, a few months ago I bought a pair of khaki pants that fit me, look nice, and hold their shape while wearing, so I decided to purchase a couple more pairs of the same pants for my upcoming tour of the major music cities.

Yesterday, I ordered the pants; today I realized I had ordered the wrong pants. I called to cancel the first order and make a new order, but it had been 24 hours since the original order was placed, so I have to wait for that order to arrive and send them back.  Okay; I can deal with that. I went ahead and placed the replacement order and was pleased with the service and the attitude of the CSR, who was very nice and friendly.

I no sooner logged off the order and went to my email to find a coupon for 20% off my order and free shipping.  The 5-hour time limit for the sale was 8am to 1pm East Coast time. I immediately called back to Blair and talked with a CSR about the code and the 5-hour sale and my order.  She placed me on hold for a couple of minutes and then came back online.

In very small print at the bottom of the email message is the caveat that the sale is on East Coast time, not Pacific time, and I had called in on Pacific time--so no 20% off and/or free shipping.  I told her that I didn't read that and apologized, but she also said that my order had to be made on-line and not over the phone. I told her I was sorry that I had not followed the directions in the small print and told her to cancel the order I had made earlier.  She asked me to hold for a minute, which I did, and when she came back to me she said that her supervisor said they would give me the 20% off and the free shipping because I had made an honest mistake.  I thanked her, but told her I was willing to cancel the order and call back later -- but she said we were good.

I cannot stress the value of excellent customer service!  I made the mistake and was willing to do it over, but the CSR realized that would just generate a lot of unnecessary paperwork for both the company and me, and she contacted her supervisor to offer a solution that saves them the paperwork and gets me a good deal that will bring me back to Blair the next time I am shopping for clothes.