A Teachable Moment

Since taking the new Friday class after Spring Break, I’ve found Jane Pratt on my Sirius XM radio. Jane is the living definition of “quirky,” that spontaneous, sometimes inane, but always hilarious ditz who lives life in the moment and enjoys every single minute of it. Today, she and her friend Cynthia were sharing “Bad Mommy” stories with listeners, joined by a long string of callers who also share the dubious distinction of never even being considered in anyone’s wildest dreams for Mother of the Year recognition. Sometimes, our hearts are in the right place, but the execution leaves much to be desired, and other times, well, shit happens.

Jane and Cynthia took their daughters to the piercing pagoda at the mall a week ago because the 8-year-old girls wanted their ears pierced. Cynthia’s mom prepared her daughter for some discomfort, if not a bit of pain, while Jane just let it happen. Of course, Jane’s daughter was shocked by the piercing pain, which then caused Jane to feel bad and proclaim herself a Bad Mommy who wishes she had realized that maybe she should have said something beforehand to her daughter. Shit not only happens, but Jane seems to get more than her share, especially while engaging in mothering activities.

This week, Jane and Cynthia took the daughters to the park to play together, as well as with the new puppy, and again neither Mommy wracked up Mother of the Year points. They not only did not shadow their daughters to protect them from the plethora of pedophiles who, according to the media, lurk in every single shadow wherever children gather, but they allowed the girls to send the puppy down the slide, much to the dismay of a SuperDad, a well-dressed park model wearing bright yellow Crocs. HE did NOT approve of that dog getting doggie DNA all over the slide his child was waiting to use, and he made it well-known that he did NOT approve of the parenting taking place with these two little girls. Jane and Cynthia were so busy talking, laughing, and gossiping that they were not aware of what the girls were doing or the man's reaction to the fun they were having doing it. Bad Mommies.

All of this commentary led to the moment that had me laughing like a maniac and in danger of flooding my Poise pantyliners.

The talk turned to the SuperMoms, the ones for whom every single one of life’s moments is a teachable moment. Examples included Jane pushing and shoving her way through the SuperMoms in the grocery store, the women who turn shopping into an impromptu academic aisle lesson. Jane, always in a hurry, just wants them to get out of her way and conduct the lesson at home, rather than cause a cart pile-up by discussing the health benefits of a pomegranate with a one-year-old. Cynthia chimed in with her favorite SuperMom’s teachable moment, which is conducted in an elevator filled with busy people who must wait for the little child to recognize the 3 on the floor button, then push it and be rewarded with appropriate SuperMom praise and the affirmation to the captive audience that "We're working on our numbers this week." As Jane so aptly concluded, if the elevator makers wanted little children to push the buttons, they would have put the f-ing buttons closer to the floor!

At that point, I lost it, laughing so hard I pulled over until I regained control. Honest to pete, we’ve all thought that, but probably have never had the guts to actually say, “Oh, my God! Will you just push the f-ing floor button and save the numbers lesson for another time/place!”

Which, of course, led to the profound insight that not every moment is a teachable moment, a good way to end the work week and an even better way to celebrate the weekend, and motherhood, by just being in the moment and enjoying the hell out it, whether there’s something to be learned or just life to be lived.