Another Stress Mess

There are things people say/do that make me nauseous, but what has put me over the top this week is the commercial for My Strange Addiction wherein a woman confesses, then demonstrates, that she drinks her urine. Yeah, my stomach just turned over as I typed that admission! What amazes me is that anyone would ever take the first sip, unless, of course, s/he were lost in the desert and dying of dehydration. In that circumstance, the need to survive makes anything acceptable, but who would ever continue that process after being saved? This woman slathers herself in her own output, moisturizing her face, styling her hair, brushing her teeth. Of course this is plain crazy, but our minds control us in ways we never think they can!

My brain has been whirling with stress for a couple of weeks, and last night was challenging as my brain filled my sleeping sub-conscious with images of a fungus growing on my hands. There were long tubular tentacles all over my palms, perhaps 4-6 inches in length, but slender so they swayed with the slightest movement. I fought all night to make them go away, tossing, turning, waking up (sort of), then going back into the nightmare. I used bleach and scrubbed for all I was worth, but the eerily white tubal growths flourished. I tried to remove them with both tweezers and stronger pliers, to no avail. Finally, I doused them with gasoline, using a cotton ball, then set my hands on fire – at which point I awoke suddenly and completely, relieved that the growths were a nightmare and burning hands were not a reality.

Adding to the sleeplessness, my phone makes soft sounds throughout the night, little pings and wind chime sounds that wake me instantly. So far, I have no idea what these sounds mean as my phone is not “ringing,” nor is there a text message or a missed call notification. It may mean that there is an email, but I think I turned off the internet access as I’ve only had the phone for about 2 weeks and am still learning how to retrieve a voice mail. I know the sounds of my life, so adding new sounds, particularly in the dark of night, is disconcerting.

Yes, the dogs and I are still walking, which usually helps me to manage my stress, but it’s so cold and windy the past several days that we’re taking short, quick walks, rather than the long, leisurely walks we’re accustomed to enjoying. A week ago, the temps were in the 80s, but we’ve had freezing rain, icy roads, and snow in the mountains, all of which are reasons to stay inside and work on craft projects.

I did, however, watch a TV movie on the Encore channel that I enjoyed on multiple levels: Country Strong, starring Gwenyth Paltrow and Tim McGraw, an excellent portrayal of human flaws and our inability to overcome what ails our lives. As much as The Descendants and its star, George Clooney, lacked any significant humanity, personal warmth, and/or honest emotion, Country Strong has it all. Throughout the film, Tim McGraw’s face tells a story of love and betrayal that hurt my heart, while George Clooney struggled for an entire film to figure out how to feel, then portray, even simple human emotion. If the eyes are the windows to our souls, Tim McGraw’s eyes are an encyclopedia of human experience.

Life goes on with us or around us. I’ll finish up the laundry, take a long, refreshing shower, and figure out how to get past this hitch in my git-along so life smoothes out and is less stressful. It’s easy to know that I create my own stress, but it’s challenging to get beyond the causes and avoid the effects. Another work in progress!