Dem Bones

It’s uncomfortable to be the only person in the room who does not speak Spanish, especially when you know they are talking about you. My housekeeper commented repeatedly that I needed a massage because my posture is a mean copy of a mobile pretzel most days. Injuries that were not addressed properly by medical personnel left me coping with the injury and the consistent pain anyway I could, but I pay a high price for what’s past. When Lulu told me to “call Rosa,” I did; however, the message was in Spanish and I left a message in English, so we never hooked up. This past week was different: Lulu called and made the arrangements for the massage, and then she took me to the appointment: an apartment on the east side of the valley.

Rosa is not very tall, she’s chunky, and her smile reveals many missing teeth. She asked her son and Lulu to translate about all previous injuries, which, for me is a long list: I’ve broken both of my legs in separate injuries; had 3 knee surgeries on the left and 2 on the right; I broke my left arm, followed 3 months’ later with a fractured ball joint on the same arm, accompanied with fractures along my clavicle, and most recently, I fractured my L4 vertebrae. I have osteo-arthritis stem to stern, along with posture that would make any chiropractor cry. When I stood up to go into the massage room, I was a bit hesitant because it never entered my mind that the massage would be in Rosa’s bedroom, and I would be directed to lay face down on Rosa’s bed.

With uncanny accuracy, Rosa found every single sore spot on my body and mercilessly attacked each one and beat the muscles and nerves into submission. I tried “no mas” a couple of times, but she ignored me and continued to kneed, stretch, massage, and then pull my spinal column into alignment. At one point, she grabbed my head and wham! pulled it so hard and so fast that I thought she was using that stealth killer move that instantly kills a victim by breaking his/her neck!! I survived it once, but a bit later on, she did it again before I realized what the heck she was doing. I had asked for a full body massage, and, by God, I got it: in spades! There was no mercy until Rosa determined that she had won the battle of my bones.

Rosa may give massages, but she outdid any chiropractor I know. Most professionals take 6 months to do what Rosa did in 2 hours, and she did not stop once she began. When I finally lifted my body from her bed, there was not a single pain anywhere, which I consider a miracle just based on the force of the massage and spinal manipulation Rosa did for 2 solid hours. When I woke up this morning, I expected to see bruises from head to toe, but nope, no bruises, and no pain either. I don’t know how long the effects will remain, but I hope it lasts through Monday’s travel.