My quickest confidence booster is reminding myself how much I have done to make my house into my home, especially all the little touches that add my personal uniqueness.
The biggest risk I’ve ever taken is quitting two jobs and relocating to another state, then packing up again and relocating for another job, and then finding the personal courage to return to a place I never again wanted to live while I found the means to relocate to where I am now.
If I had no fear, I’d pack up and leave where I am now.
One other fear for me is retirement, as so much of who I am is wrapped inside what I did for 35 years of my adulthood. For a person who saw 200 students a day, 5 days a week, for 48 weeks each year (including summer school), with a constantly changing student population, as well as required curriculum, sitting alone in my house was a huge fear about what I'd do, where I'd go, which people would be part of my new life. I've done a lot of sitting on my couch in the past few years due to two knee surgeries, following the initiating injury that went under-diagnosed for the first 3 months. I also fell and fractured the L4 vertebrae, which was officially diagnosed as "stirring up" my spinal arthritis and under-treated as a result. Once that injury was treated properly with spinal decompression therapy, I've been able to stand up straight and tall, which improved my entire mental attitude, as well as my mobility.
I'm finding that I like being retired. I actually like to sit on the couch and do handwork; as a result, I've completed many projects and have others in the works. I also enjoy a reading day every so often, although I've found that when I read the Amazon.com ratings of books and make my selection based on reader's reviews, I get stuck with some poorly written novels that I cannot force myself to finish.
I also enjoy the freedom to leave the house anytime I choose for whatever reason. Yesterday, as a matter of fact, I drove to the factory outlet stores up the highway and just meandered through the shops. Granted, I made a Harry and David stop, one of my guilty pleasures, only to find that the store is being closed but will reopen in the other half of the outlet facility. There was no chocolate-covered fruit left in the store, but I did buy both Meyer lemon marmalade and orange marmalade (at 33% off), as well as a jar of rhubarb/strawberry pie filling that I will use to make some delicious dessert tarts ... soon.
Even though I have to plan my travel when I have a pet-sitter available for the 3 dogs, I flew to Oregon recently, and have trips to China and Canada in the works before the end of the year. I make day trips more often than longer trips, and am pleasantly surprised to find lots to see/do within about a couple hour's drive. This past week, I visited a local museum that chronicles part of the history of the Valley, ate at a well-known restaurant adjacent to the polo grounds (which are being turned into the internationally-known venue for the upcoming Coachella and StageCoach events), and saw the polo ground's roses in full, fragrant bloom.
Therefore, my "can do attitude" is growing in confidence with the freedom to do whatever I want to do -- or not do what I don't want to do -- when I want to do it. I've been gathering things over the years to try "someday," and I've finally accepted that the someday is ... today!
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