Brain Bifurcation

If anyone knows where my spare pair of glasses is hiding, or the case for my cell phone, or the grade record for the comp class, please let me know ASAP!

As I was working on the computer this morning, I felt something lightly brush my face. Reaching up to flick it away, I felt it fall onto my chest, so reaching down, I picked up … the earpiece for the glasses. Normally, this would not be a big issue (replace the screw yadayadayada), but these are rimless glasses, so the earpiece is embedded in the lens. Because I cannot wear my glasses and see what caused the earpiece to fall off the frames, I had to have professional assistance to assess the situation and let me know how/when/how much to have them fixed.

Now, we have a new issue. I did not opt for continuing eye care insurance as it would have added an additional $480 annually to my already high COBRA payment plan. Rather than returning to the shop from which the now useless glasses were purchased, I went to the nearby optical shop. For $225, I can purchase a new pair of glasses, titanium rims, bifocals, transitions lenses—and they’ll be ready Thursday (or Friday). Hurrah. They may not be the most au courant frames I’ve ever owned, but I have to teach a class tonight while balancing the broken frames on my nose, which should add an element of suspense to the proceedings and an additional layer of stress to my already high maintenance life.

I had the cell phone in the case last Thursday (for sure), and think I remember having it at b’fast Friday, but haven’t been able to find it since then. I’ve check both vehicles (under, over, around and through), as well as lifted couch cushions, looked under furniture, and stormed my way through every nook and cranny I can think to check. No cell phone case—and no spare glasses. Perhaps they ran off together? I tried the “this isn’t funny, guys” approach, but got no response from the missing items nor the dog, who tried her best to look sympathetically at me while I ransacked the house.

I’ve also been grading papers, lots of papers, using the couch as a workstation, so I figured the grade sheet would be in that general vicinity, too. Not so, nor is it on the official desk in the office, where the other two grade sheets are located. With all the paper still overwhelming my life, it could be mixed in with any one of several piles of papers, but I have to keep looking … and hope that I find it before the end of the semester. I have been shredding, but I think I would be tuned in to THIS IS A GRADE SHEET and not shred it while on autopilot, wouldn’t I?

This is nuts! I am usually so well-organized and can put my hands on anything at any time without stopping to think about it. However, I’ve been cleaning, reorganizing, shredding and discarding, which means I’ve moved things from one spot to another, usually with great logic involved in the relocation, and the end result is who knows where anything is? I certainly can’t find anything—unless you are looking for 2 vintage negligees in a size 10 that haven’t been worn since the 60s. Those I stubbornly refuse to donate to someone who may wear them in this lifetime. If anyone’s going to get lucky and need those negligees, it’s going to be an overweight, over-the-hill, graying senior citizen: me!

I caved into the “retirement” peer pressure, that expectation that now that I’m retired, I have lots of time to clean my house and (finally) get organized. However, I ran out of places to put things long before I ran out of things, so now the back of my truck is filled with boxes of teaching materials with which I don’t know what to do! I can throw out life materials, but teaching materials? Give me a break: I MAY NEED THEM SOMEDAY!

On the good news front, however, is that the student who wrote “tiddlers” in her essay about the importance of early educational intervention, changed it to “tettlers” after I noted a “sp” correction was needed in her quest for a recognized way to identify those little tykes who advance from rug rats to “toddlers.” With such cute nomenclature, she’ll be such a terrific highly qualified elementary school teacher!