"Tis the Season -- Again

‘Tis the day before Christmas and all through the house not a decoration is to be found. IF anyone were going to drop by, I probably would have caved and put up something, but my preference is don’t go there. Christmas has never been my favorite holiday, but my dotter annually insisted that I purchase this ‘n that, decorate everything in sight, and enjoy, enjoy, enjoy. That’s her Christmas; this is my Christmas, and reading a headline that assures me it's never too late to find a last-minute gift, even at the corner drugstore, does not make me want to rush out and buy something, anything, everything because I may have forgotten someone somewhere whose feelings I have inadvertently crushed.

Get over it: life is more than the number of gifts under the Christmas tree!

I used to be totally involved in church, spending endless hours working my tush off because God is sitting in the High Heavens marking up a huge black book that has my name in it and two columns: coming to heaven and going to hell. My goal was to earn as many black marks as I could because I knew there would eventually be lots of red marks because that’s just who I am. The harder I try to be good, the more trouble seems to come my way, and I’ve always hoped that I accrued enough black marks to somehow balance the totality of my life. To be honest, I’m not sure heaven is all that, but the fear of being burned alive for eternity was enough to make me want to be on the goodness and light side of that final decision. If that is even possible, that is.

I love Christmas carols, but mostly hate all of today's popular Christmas music because it’s all about what I want at this time of the year, and that’s mostly expensive presents that affirm I’m worthy of everyone I know spending money they may not have to keep me on their friends’ list on Facebook. I suspect there are far more people who feel as I do that being good just to get an unwanted, unneeded present from the Jolly Old Fatman isn’t all that much incentive after the first rush of adrenalin passes on Christmas morning.

It is absurd to me that anyone goes into debt to buy anyone’s affection with extravagant gifts they darned well know they cannot afford, yet TV commercials portray that as “the thing” to do. Ergo, the young, well-dressed, seemingly affluent couple in the elevator when the special music plays to alert the unsuspecting hubby that there’s a new car waiting at the curb. THAT is a discussion and a decision the couple should make together, NOT a surprise that one person springs on the other in the spirit of conspicuous Christmas consumption.

No wonder all those children stand in line at the present give-aways: all they know is that the more they get, the happier they’ll be – until the present loses its initial appeal and life has not changed one iota for the unhappy child. I’ve heard the mothers (primarily) in the retail stores threatening the children to be good “or else.” The “or else” is far too often no presents, when it should be an appropriate punishment for bad behavior, such as a time-out or, in my book, taking the overly-tired, stressed-out child home for a nap!

And, being brutally honest this fine Christmas Eve morning, I am totally suspect of all the “needy” families who get as much free bounty during the holidays as they possibly can score. When the media shows these “needy” families lining up for the give-aways, I’m often struck by the quality of the clothing, the trendy accessories, the huge, new SUV’s and the spiffy custom chrome wheels on the family sedans. In downtown LA, the street people who show up to eat the holiday meals are truly in need of the meal, as well as the kindness of strangers, but out where I live? Not so much.

I’m not into buying presents because it’s Christmas: I prefer to gift people who need gifts throughout the year but even that practice comes back and bites me in the ass more often than not.

Example: a woman I know who receives public assistance, also works a part-time job, and sometimes gets child support from her child’s father (never married), complained to me at T’giving that she didn’t have the money to put gas in her car so she could drive to her parents’ home for T’giving dinner. Yep, I fell for it and gave her $25 for a tank of gas. Imagine my surprise when she told me after the fact that she received a free holiday meal, so she didn’t drive to her parents’ home after all, but … a week later, she told me she purchased a computer for her dotter, as well as upgraded her cable service to include internet service.

Ho-ho-ho: merry take what you can get and run like hell, laughing behind the guileless donor’s back!

I was taught to work for what I need and to think long and hard about what I want: once the needs are met, the wants can be considered, but no one is promised a life wherein all the wants are provided. I watched a Christmas movie (probably on Hallmark) that showed a “pioneer” family struggling to make it to the end of another year. The daughter worked night after night to first make, and then embroider, a hanky for her father. When he opened the meager package, he was emotionally overwhelmed by the gift that came straight from the child’s heart.

If there were more Christmases like that in reality, rather than confined to the sappy Hallmark movies, I’d probably be much more on-board with the whole holiday thing.