The news report didn't clarify who conducted the study, how many subjects were included, how long the study took, or how much it cost ... but the results are so incredibly obvious that it's what I've always called a no-duh!
The study concludes that people in the early 40s are, for the most part, depressed. No duh!
You wanna know why? Here's my take:
The idealism of youth has melded with the realism of adulthood, and it's hard to accept that not all dreams come true, not all decisions are beneficial, not all aspirations are reached -- and the clock is ticking. There comes the day when the reality check occurs and each individual has either to accept what is or change it -- or have the wisdom to accept that what is is what's going to be.
Hence, the flurry of "late in life" children; the plethora of divorce; the torrent of job change; the ego-purchase of the sports' car; the therapeutic affair; the cosmetic plastic surgery. The list of symptoms is endless, but the syndrome is as old as time.
One day we realize we are no longer young, but we hope we're not yet too old to still have a life before we die. Today's society says "50 is the new 40," but it doesn't change the truth that there is a line we inevitably cross between "young" and "old," and when we come to it at whatever age is currently fashionable, it provides us with head-on contact with our mortality.
If I'm going to do it, I'd better do it before it's too late drives most of what happens in the 40s. If I go for it and it doesn't work out, how depressing; if I don't go for it and spend the rest of my life regretting the shoulda/ woulda/ coulda, how depressing; if I accept the status quo and just continue one day at a time, how depressing.
If, however, I accept that what I've done is what I've done, it's working out pretty well for me, and I'm going to stay steady on course--how fortuitous and how rare.
That's life.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
Winter Weather
Desert dwellers are funny about winter weather: they don't want it to rain or be cold, but want more water for the landscaping, the fountain, the swimming pool, and the spa tub at their seasonal condo than is consumed by the average home in the east during an entire year. It irritates me that the news commentators always apologize for the rain when it finally arrives during the tourist season, and then warn residents about the draught once the tourists depart.
The desert needs rain, not tourists, but we try to accommodate both.
After a slow start to the winter, the rain began in earnest yesterday afternoon, falling in wind-driven sheets throughout the night and scarring Mia into staying inside, curled up with my couch afghan. She came into the bedroom a half dozen times during the night to bark her disapproval at the winds and the wetness before finally settling down about 3 AM. I'm not sure what she expects me to do about it being cold and wet outside when she has to pee, but I get up each time she comes to get me--just in case it's the boogeyman she's barking at "this time."
Later this morning, a friend (playing hookey from school today) called to see if I'd join her for a late b'fast, which I was happy to do. On the drive to Denny's, I basked in a brilliant double rainbow that looked to be between the highway and my home. It was still shining brightly after finishing b'fast, and I wished I had brought along my camera, which usually is in the car--but not this morning.
Arriving home, I saw an empty paper plate on the kitchen floor, my first clue that Mia enjoyed the 6 fresh biscuits I made early this morning. I left them on a covered plate on the kitchen counter to enjoy with a hot bowl of soup at dinner, but Mia evidently thought she should enjoy the fruits of my labor. I chastised her, but you never know with a dog whether they're thinking "oh, sorry" or "too bad: you snooze, you lose!"
I made another batch of biscuits for my soup supper.
I'm working on another afghan, using up yarn I bought a while back. Of course, I don't remember the original intent for the yarn, so I've had to create a plan, then buy more yarn to make it happen. My goal is to empty the closet in the guest room as it has way too many skeins (both new and already used) of yarn to justify buying more. I also have a plan for the "not much left" skeins, a patchwork afghan. I made a huge patchwork blanket for my brother's 5-0 birthday a couple of years ago, and another one for my g'son that I sent off a couple of weeks ago, but there is still one heck of a lot of yarn! I'm going to keep knitting and crocheting until the supply dwindles.
And then I better start on the embroidery projects ...
The desert needs rain, not tourists, but we try to accommodate both.
After a slow start to the winter, the rain began in earnest yesterday afternoon, falling in wind-driven sheets throughout the night and scarring Mia into staying inside, curled up with my couch afghan. She came into the bedroom a half dozen times during the night to bark her disapproval at the winds and the wetness before finally settling down about 3 AM. I'm not sure what she expects me to do about it being cold and wet outside when she has to pee, but I get up each time she comes to get me--just in case it's the boogeyman she's barking at "this time."
Later this morning, a friend (playing hookey from school today) called to see if I'd join her for a late b'fast, which I was happy to do. On the drive to Denny's, I basked in a brilliant double rainbow that looked to be between the highway and my home. It was still shining brightly after finishing b'fast, and I wished I had brought along my camera, which usually is in the car--but not this morning.
Arriving home, I saw an empty paper plate on the kitchen floor, my first clue that Mia enjoyed the 6 fresh biscuits I made early this morning. I left them on a covered plate on the kitchen counter to enjoy with a hot bowl of soup at dinner, but Mia evidently thought she should enjoy the fruits of my labor. I chastised her, but you never know with a dog whether they're thinking "oh, sorry" or "too bad: you snooze, you lose!"
I made another batch of biscuits for my soup supper.
I'm working on another afghan, using up yarn I bought a while back. Of course, I don't remember the original intent for the yarn, so I've had to create a plan, then buy more yarn to make it happen. My goal is to empty the closet in the guest room as it has way too many skeins (both new and already used) of yarn to justify buying more. I also have a plan for the "not much left" skeins, a patchwork afghan. I made a huge patchwork blanket for my brother's 5-0 birthday a couple of years ago, and another one for my g'son that I sent off a couple of weeks ago, but there is still one heck of a lot of yarn! I'm going to keep knitting and crocheting until the supply dwindles.
And then I better start on the embroidery projects ...
Thursday, January 24, 2008
The Hesitant Housekeeper
When a person comes across a body, regardless of who it is, where it is, or whether you think it's alive or dead, it's react first--think second. Evidently, the housekeeper and/or the masseuse decided that something other than saving his life took precendence when they found Heath Ledger "cold and unresponsive" on his bed.
Rather than hitting 9-1-1 on the cell phone they picked up in the actor's bedroom, they called a friend--an actress--and asked her what to do. She said she'd call private security to come check the situation. The security personnel arrived at the apartment about the same time the medics arrived, but the news didn't say who finally called for help!
Once the 9-1-1 call was made, the medics arrived within 3 minutes.
It appears that there is a lag of almost 45 minutes between finding Ledger "cold and unresponsive" and the medics' arrival. The housekeeper says she heard him snoring, then he wasn't; thus, the time of death is ... let's see, somewhere in the 45-minute range between finding his body and the paramedics arriving on the scene?
Your first duty is to dial 9-1-1, then the friend, private security, agent, publicist, whatever. Not calling 9-1-1 first could very well be the difference between life and death when a person is "cold and unresponsive," and it appears that may be the case in this situation.
If I were Heath Ledger's family, I'd be insisting on investigating the 2 people who first found him unresponsive and failed to call for help immediately. As a parent, I'd want my son's life saved first, before ANY other phone calls are made!
Rather than hitting 9-1-1 on the cell phone they picked up in the actor's bedroom, they called a friend--an actress--and asked her what to do. She said she'd call private security to come check the situation. The security personnel arrived at the apartment about the same time the medics arrived, but the news didn't say who finally called for help!
Once the 9-1-1 call was made, the medics arrived within 3 minutes.
It appears that there is a lag of almost 45 minutes between finding Ledger "cold and unresponsive" and the medics' arrival. The housekeeper says she heard him snoring, then he wasn't; thus, the time of death is ... let's see, somewhere in the 45-minute range between finding his body and the paramedics arriving on the scene?
Your first duty is to dial 9-1-1, then the friend, private security, agent, publicist, whatever. Not calling 9-1-1 first could very well be the difference between life and death when a person is "cold and unresponsive," and it appears that may be the case in this situation.
If I were Heath Ledger's family, I'd be insisting on investigating the 2 people who first found him unresponsive and failed to call for help immediately. As a parent, I'd want my son's life saved first, before ANY other phone calls are made!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Speculation: conclusion, opinion, or theory reached by engaging the mouth before the brain
Heath Ledger is dead, apparently found naked on his bed in his apartment and with pills in proximity to his body.
That's what is known; anything else is speculation. However, not to be slowed down by the lack of fact, commentators have spent the hours since the discovery of Ledger's body posing theories about this death -- and then making a point of claiming that they don't want to "speculate" about the cause of his death. When you have no facts, but you speak as if you do, you are "speculating," not reporting, and speculation creates the worst case scenario, rather than giving the benefit of the doubt to the victim of the speculation.
Sure, the actor could have committed suicide, but what if he simply took too many pills because he couldn't sleep? What if he had an allergic reaction to medication? What if something else caused his death, and the pills are coincidental to that cause?
The media doesn't want to wait for the facts, doesn't want NOT to speculate because that wouldn't be a story! These media figures accrue face time at the expense of their victims. and only stop feeding on this event when another comes along to take this one's place.
If nothing is known, then nothing should be reported.
Heath Ledger's family has to endure the public exposure of speculation as if it were fact, and once that bell is rung, there is no undoing it.
That's what is known; anything else is speculation. However, not to be slowed down by the lack of fact, commentators have spent the hours since the discovery of Ledger's body posing theories about this death -- and then making a point of claiming that they don't want to "speculate" about the cause of his death. When you have no facts, but you speak as if you do, you are "speculating," not reporting, and speculation creates the worst case scenario, rather than giving the benefit of the doubt to the victim of the speculation.
Sure, the actor could have committed suicide, but what if he simply took too many pills because he couldn't sleep? What if he had an allergic reaction to medication? What if something else caused his death, and the pills are coincidental to that cause?
The media doesn't want to wait for the facts, doesn't want NOT to speculate because that wouldn't be a story! These media figures accrue face time at the expense of their victims. and only stop feeding on this event when another comes along to take this one's place.
If nothing is known, then nothing should be reported.
Heath Ledger's family has to endure the public exposure of speculation as if it were fact, and once that bell is rung, there is no undoing it.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Sugar Sugar
A fond memory is the weekend our next-door neighbor was playing his stereo on full volume. My son was home, and we decided to even things up a bit. We put on the song "Sugar, Sugar," one of our favorites, as loud as our stereo would go, then opened the doors and windows. For a few minutes, it was a battle of the bands, and we dissolved into fits of giggles. What fun!
Recently, however, sugar has become no fun for me. After 2 years of being symptomatic, I finally sought medical help about 15 months ago for the physical issues I could not longer cope with; the diagnosis of Diabetes II confirmed that sugar is my enemy. I've worked hard to control the disease with diet and exercise, and both the doctor and I have been pleased with my progress.
However, emotional stress continues to send me into a sugar frenzy, often without conscious knowledge that I am ingesting that particular form of personal poison. Since the Diabetes II went into over-drive, I’ve been so careful not to keep sugar products in the house as I don’t have endless amounts of self-control. When it comes to will power, I will, but when it comes to won’t power, I often will, when I know I should won’t.
Some family news sent me into foraging mode about 4 weeks ago, accompanied by debilitating headaches, the extreme “swimming” dizziness, lethargy, blurry vision, and crankiness. I couldn’t figure out what the heck was wrong until I had an awakening one early afternoon last week and literally saw myself dunking a left-over holiday cookie into my cup of hot coffee. Had you asked me if I was bingeing on sugar, I would have told you “no” because I had no awareness of it.
Alcoholics drink, smokers smoke, drug addicts snort, smoke or shoot, over-eaters gorge, and I mainline sugar, my drug of choice.
Since my moment of lucidity, I have had to work diligently to remove the sugar from my intake process—again. It was a challenge the first time, but more difficult this time because it’s a do-over. The old saying, “There’s never time to do it right, but there’s always time to do it over” comes to mind.
When I stopped smoking decades ago, I went from 2 packs a day to not smoking, and I know that all it would take is one cigarette for me to become a smoker again. Therefore, I don’t buy cigarettes. However, when it’s food, I have decades of food choice patterns that are on auto pilot: I stroll the aisles, pick up the items, check out, take the sacks from the car into the pantry, put the groceries away—and don’t pay attention to what’s there until I stress out. That’s when I go searching for anything that can feed the need for sugar to make me feel better. Because I’m still buying cake mixes, boxes of brownie mix, and the staples of sugar, white flour, and bread on auto-pilot, when I stress out, my drugs are right there in the cabinets. I love cooking, which also soothes me when I’m stressed, so the potential for falling off the wagon to make myself feel better is high.
After 3 weeks of all sugar all the time, packing on the pounds (again), and feeling downright awful, I’m clean, feeling better, and determined not to go there/do that again. One day at a time, dear Lord, one day at a time.
Recently, however, sugar has become no fun for me. After 2 years of being symptomatic, I finally sought medical help about 15 months ago for the physical issues I could not longer cope with; the diagnosis of Diabetes II confirmed that sugar is my enemy. I've worked hard to control the disease with diet and exercise, and both the doctor and I have been pleased with my progress.
However, emotional stress continues to send me into a sugar frenzy, often without conscious knowledge that I am ingesting that particular form of personal poison. Since the Diabetes II went into over-drive, I’ve been so careful not to keep sugar products in the house as I don’t have endless amounts of self-control. When it comes to will power, I will, but when it comes to won’t power, I often will, when I know I should won’t.
Some family news sent me into foraging mode about 4 weeks ago, accompanied by debilitating headaches, the extreme “swimming” dizziness, lethargy, blurry vision, and crankiness. I couldn’t figure out what the heck was wrong until I had an awakening one early afternoon last week and literally saw myself dunking a left-over holiday cookie into my cup of hot coffee. Had you asked me if I was bingeing on sugar, I would have told you “no” because I had no awareness of it.
Alcoholics drink, smokers smoke, drug addicts snort, smoke or shoot, over-eaters gorge, and I mainline sugar, my drug of choice.
Since my moment of lucidity, I have had to work diligently to remove the sugar from my intake process—again. It was a challenge the first time, but more difficult this time because it’s a do-over. The old saying, “There’s never time to do it right, but there’s always time to do it over” comes to mind.
When I stopped smoking decades ago, I went from 2 packs a day to not smoking, and I know that all it would take is one cigarette for me to become a smoker again. Therefore, I don’t buy cigarettes. However, when it’s food, I have decades of food choice patterns that are on auto pilot: I stroll the aisles, pick up the items, check out, take the sacks from the car into the pantry, put the groceries away—and don’t pay attention to what’s there until I stress out. That’s when I go searching for anything that can feed the need for sugar to make me feel better. Because I’m still buying cake mixes, boxes of brownie mix, and the staples of sugar, white flour, and bread on auto-pilot, when I stress out, my drugs are right there in the cabinets. I love cooking, which also soothes me when I’m stressed, so the potential for falling off the wagon to make myself feel better is high.
After 3 weeks of all sugar all the time, packing on the pounds (again), and feeling downright awful, I’m clean, feeling better, and determined not to go there/do that again. One day at a time, dear Lord, one day at a time.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
The Great Pretenders
In Edge of Evil, one of author J.A. Jance’s protagonists, Ali, learns that her husband is both a liar and a cheat, something she has not considered, but which is well-known to everyone who knows him. However, as is often the case, she is left to discover and deal with Paul’s deception on her own. As Ali tells it, she “assumed that she and Paul had both been working hard on their careers, building something together. With that erroneous assumption now laid to rest, Ali wondered how much else in her life was little more than a mirage—smoke and mirrors and special effects.”
There’s a lot of that going around as the new year kicks off, people whose lives are clouded in smoke, standing behind the one-way mirrors from which they all too often watch themselves act out a life that is little more than a part in a play. What makes their actions so insidious is that they don’t share with the other cast members that there is a play in progress: the others sharing the space with the great pretender believe that it is a life they are living. When the lead actor finally reveals that the play has finished its run and (s)he’s closing it down, the other characters don’t know what to do, what to say, what to think, what to feel—kind of the Truman effect, if you ever saw that movie, leaving nothing but an empty stage where once we thought we lived our lives.
The pretenders move on, but we can’t because everything we thought, everything we did, everything we were was an illusion, and it takes time to catch up to that reality.
Character is how well we handle ourselves when life turns to shit, and there are a lot of people building character this month. Facing up to the fact that life is a charade, a façade of image with no substance, is tough to do when it comes suddenly, without warning, without redress, without options. Ali lets it slide for a bit, until she gets her bearings, and then she takes care of business. Once Ali knows who Paul is and what Paul has done, she doesn’t really care what Paul wants. Since she has to move on without him, she’ll move on her way, not his.
This same theme is present in the movie Juno, a story about a pregnant 16-year-old who decides to give the baby to a couple picked from a classified ad. Juno meets them, likes them, strikes a bargain with them, involves them in the pregnancy, and is as shocked as the man’s wife when he says fatherhood isn’t for him, that he’s moving out and moving on. He plays guitar and wants the career as a rock star that he set aside when he married and pretended to become a responsible adult. The mother-to-be is devastated as she thought they were in it together. To her credit, Juno’s note to the woman is “I’m still in if you are,” so although the husband shatters the wife’s dream of a happily-ever-after marriage, she becomes a parent to Juno’s child. The audience is left to assume that her life will be better without the husband than it was with him.
If nothing else, it will be more honest.
I don’t know if that’s reality or just another plotline in a work of fiction, but it makes sense. Because they know it’s all illusion, the "great pretenders" have planned for the end, and they are ready to move on well before they let anyone else in on their little deception. They leave physically long after they’ve left mentally and emotionally, long after they have changed the course of other people’s lives without having to change themselves. Perhaps the “after play” for these people is laughing at the trust of the people they deceive.
The best revenge is not getting even, not stooping low enough to reach the deceiver’s level, but in getting better by moving on with your life, with reaching your goals, with fulfilling your purpose. It takes time to work through the debris left from the first experience, but once the trash is taken out, the whole house feels cleaner and fresher. Ali learns this lesson and is a better person for her life experience, but it’s not an easy journey for her—or for a real-life person. There are times when she questions her part in the failure of her marriage, in her husband’s need to share intimacy with other women, but she finally comes to understand that the failure is theirs, not hers. He was able to deceive her because she didn’t pay attention to their marriage. She assumed, and we all know what assumptions do to “u” and “me.”
In a relationship, it takes two people working together to create and sustain a healthy relationship. If one person is less vested in the relationship than the other, it’s simply a matter of time before the relationship fades and fails. There is no going back, there is no undoing or redoing the shoulda/ woulda/ coulda’s of the marriage. It’s just getting out of bed, putting the feet to the floor, and making it one day at a time. Some days, that will be tougher than others, but one day, it’ll be the most natural act in the world, the start of another new day.
There’s a lot of that going around as the new year kicks off, people whose lives are clouded in smoke, standing behind the one-way mirrors from which they all too often watch themselves act out a life that is little more than a part in a play. What makes their actions so insidious is that they don’t share with the other cast members that there is a play in progress: the others sharing the space with the great pretender believe that it is a life they are living. When the lead actor finally reveals that the play has finished its run and (s)he’s closing it down, the other characters don’t know what to do, what to say, what to think, what to feel—kind of the Truman effect, if you ever saw that movie, leaving nothing but an empty stage where once we thought we lived our lives.
The pretenders move on, but we can’t because everything we thought, everything we did, everything we were was an illusion, and it takes time to catch up to that reality.
Character is how well we handle ourselves when life turns to shit, and there are a lot of people building character this month. Facing up to the fact that life is a charade, a façade of image with no substance, is tough to do when it comes suddenly, without warning, without redress, without options. Ali lets it slide for a bit, until she gets her bearings, and then she takes care of business. Once Ali knows who Paul is and what Paul has done, she doesn’t really care what Paul wants. Since she has to move on without him, she’ll move on her way, not his.
This same theme is present in the movie Juno, a story about a pregnant 16-year-old who decides to give the baby to a couple picked from a classified ad. Juno meets them, likes them, strikes a bargain with them, involves them in the pregnancy, and is as shocked as the man’s wife when he says fatherhood isn’t for him, that he’s moving out and moving on. He plays guitar and wants the career as a rock star that he set aside when he married and pretended to become a responsible adult. The mother-to-be is devastated as she thought they were in it together. To her credit, Juno’s note to the woman is “I’m still in if you are,” so although the husband shatters the wife’s dream of a happily-ever-after marriage, she becomes a parent to Juno’s child. The audience is left to assume that her life will be better without the husband than it was with him.
If nothing else, it will be more honest.
I don’t know if that’s reality or just another plotline in a work of fiction, but it makes sense. Because they know it’s all illusion, the "great pretenders" have planned for the end, and they are ready to move on well before they let anyone else in on their little deception. They leave physically long after they’ve left mentally and emotionally, long after they have changed the course of other people’s lives without having to change themselves. Perhaps the “after play” for these people is laughing at the trust of the people they deceive.
The best revenge is not getting even, not stooping low enough to reach the deceiver’s level, but in getting better by moving on with your life, with reaching your goals, with fulfilling your purpose. It takes time to work through the debris left from the first experience, but once the trash is taken out, the whole house feels cleaner and fresher. Ali learns this lesson and is a better person for her life experience, but it’s not an easy journey for her—or for a real-life person. There are times when she questions her part in the failure of her marriage, in her husband’s need to share intimacy with other women, but she finally comes to understand that the failure is theirs, not hers. He was able to deceive her because she didn’t pay attention to their marriage. She assumed, and we all know what assumptions do to “u” and “me.”
In a relationship, it takes two people working together to create and sustain a healthy relationship. If one person is less vested in the relationship than the other, it’s simply a matter of time before the relationship fades and fails. There is no going back, there is no undoing or redoing the shoulda/ woulda/ coulda’s of the marriage. It’s just getting out of bed, putting the feet to the floor, and making it one day at a time. Some days, that will be tougher than others, but one day, it’ll be the most natural act in the world, the start of another new day.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Snow Bowl
I enjoy watching a good football game and usually look forward to the play-offs and Super Bowl. However, for today's football game at Green Bay, the home team had a definite advantage in the extreme weather conditions that affected the outcome of the playoff game.
Perhaps Seattle would have lost regardless, but the team should have had a level playing field with the Packers, who live, work, and play in the extreme weather conditions present for today's game. Before the blowing snow blanketed the field, Seattle was holding its own; once the conditions deteriorated to white-out on the field, they lost whatever chance they had to compete fairly against the home team, which has built a tolerance for the extreme winter weather.
No playoff game should be played in an outdoor stadium that can be affected by inclement weather, especially during the winter months in a northern geographical location. Playoff games should ALWAYS be played at a neutral, covered stadium so both teams have an equal chance to showcase their talent and win the game.
Today, the Seahawks lost the game to the Green Bay weather conditions, not to the Packers.
Perhaps Seattle would have lost regardless, but the team should have had a level playing field with the Packers, who live, work, and play in the extreme weather conditions present for today's game. Before the blowing snow blanketed the field, Seattle was holding its own; once the conditions deteriorated to white-out on the field, they lost whatever chance they had to compete fairly against the home team, which has built a tolerance for the extreme winter weather.
No playoff game should be played in an outdoor stadium that can be affected by inclement weather, especially during the winter months in a northern geographical location. Playoff games should ALWAYS be played at a neutral, covered stadium so both teams have an equal chance to showcase their talent and win the game.
Today, the Seahawks lost the game to the Green Bay weather conditions, not to the Packers.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Film Favorites
I’ve been off movies for a while, staying home during the cold weather to work on unfinished craft projects. Actually, I’ve made credible progress toward completion of several projects, and have also watched an unbelievable number of reruns of L&O that have kept me company on the couch. I never watched all of those shows the first time around as I was working 2-3 jobs continuously for the past 30 years, so although they are “ho-hum, not more Law & Order” for most folks, they are all fresh episodes to me! And may I just say that Christopher Meloni can come for lunch any day he’s free!
This past weekend, I went to Juno with my movie buddy. Coming at it from my perspective, after working with pregnant 16-year-olds for the past 30 years, it wasn’t as amusing to me as much as it was poignant. The actor portraying Juno does an excellent job of capturing the pseudo-sophistication of 16-year-old children who are so wise beyond their years in some respects, while totally naïve in so many others. The dialogue, however, is way too sophisticated for a 16-year-old girl! The thought processes, decision-making, and actions come from the mind of a much older writer who has to work hard to make the idea of the movie work. For me, it would have been more believable if the movie portrayed what a real 16-year-old pregnant girl would think, do, and say, but that wouldn’t have been so much funny as it would have been pathetic.
I found myself laughing that self-conscious laugh when it’s not funny, but it’s funny. I felt such sadness that this movie, in many ways, makes being 16 and pregnant “cool,” when it’s anything but “cool” for the pregnant child, as well as for the infant that results. One good aspect is that the boyfriend is so not “hot,” so much more nerd, that at least that visual helps young girls to realize that any guy can get them pregnant, not just the sex masters of the local high school. I also like that when Juno realizes that the much older potential adoptive father comes on to her, she shuts him down. Too many young girls today would be taken in by the older guy’s sexual interest, giving them something to talk about with their friends at school the next day.
Today, I saw The Great Debate and was totally engaged in the plot, as well as the many layers of subtlety that help a good movie to become great. The talent is outstanding: children actors all too often have to act the part, but these young actors, portraying students, were natural in the roles and very believable. The debate is the vehicle for social commentary that brings to a close the web of sub-plots that keeps the viewer engaged with the film. My favorite piece of literature is To Kill a Mockingbird, and this movie captures the same intensity, issues, and importance of Harper Lee’s literary masterpiece.
The Great Debate joins 3:10 to Yuma, No Country for Old Men, and The Valley of Elia as my most recent favorite films. The cinematography is steady, rather than that annoying rapidly flashing technique that young people think is cool. The stories have depth and breadth, not flash and fade. The issues that are at the core of the films are important and handled well. The acting is excellent as all of these pieces are about character, not location, fashion, or fad, and the actors develop, sustain, and triumph in their portrayals of the people around whom the storylines develop. When I want to see the film again, it’s a good movie, and I'll see all of these movies again when they come to the local video store.
All in all, I’m enjoying the big screen right now!
This past weekend, I went to Juno with my movie buddy. Coming at it from my perspective, after working with pregnant 16-year-olds for the past 30 years, it wasn’t as amusing to me as much as it was poignant. The actor portraying Juno does an excellent job of capturing the pseudo-sophistication of 16-year-old children who are so wise beyond their years in some respects, while totally naïve in so many others. The dialogue, however, is way too sophisticated for a 16-year-old girl! The thought processes, decision-making, and actions come from the mind of a much older writer who has to work hard to make the idea of the movie work. For me, it would have been more believable if the movie portrayed what a real 16-year-old pregnant girl would think, do, and say, but that wouldn’t have been so much funny as it would have been pathetic.
I found myself laughing that self-conscious laugh when it’s not funny, but it’s funny. I felt such sadness that this movie, in many ways, makes being 16 and pregnant “cool,” when it’s anything but “cool” for the pregnant child, as well as for the infant that results. One good aspect is that the boyfriend is so not “hot,” so much more nerd, that at least that visual helps young girls to realize that any guy can get them pregnant, not just the sex masters of the local high school. I also like that when Juno realizes that the much older potential adoptive father comes on to her, she shuts him down. Too many young girls today would be taken in by the older guy’s sexual interest, giving them something to talk about with their friends at school the next day.
Today, I saw The Great Debate and was totally engaged in the plot, as well as the many layers of subtlety that help a good movie to become great. The talent is outstanding: children actors all too often have to act the part, but these young actors, portraying students, were natural in the roles and very believable. The debate is the vehicle for social commentary that brings to a close the web of sub-plots that keeps the viewer engaged with the film. My favorite piece of literature is To Kill a Mockingbird, and this movie captures the same intensity, issues, and importance of Harper Lee’s literary masterpiece.
The Great Debate joins 3:10 to Yuma, No Country for Old Men, and The Valley of Elia as my most recent favorite films. The cinematography is steady, rather than that annoying rapidly flashing technique that young people think is cool. The stories have depth and breadth, not flash and fade. The issues that are at the core of the films are important and handled well. The acting is excellent as all of these pieces are about character, not location, fashion, or fad, and the actors develop, sustain, and triumph in their portrayals of the people around whom the storylines develop. When I want to see the film again, it’s a good movie, and I'll see all of these movies again when they come to the local video store.
All in all, I’m enjoying the big screen right now!
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Stormy Weather
The second of a forecast three storms is blowing in, coming from the pass to the west. The leading edge is a dark grey line advancing toward my back yard. In front of the leading edge of the storm, the sun is shining, but behind the facade it is cold, windy, and wet.
It's been snowing on the surrounding mountains for several hours, but so far, we've only seen light sprinkles on the ground. The third storm is due in either later today or tomorrow, so we'll see what, if anything, arrives to give the parched desert another winter drink.
I like the rain, but not the cold that accompanies it. The wind driving the storm into the valley whips against the metal shed housing my next door neighbor's outside water heater, and the ensuing racket is enough to wake me from a sound sleep. One of these days, when I know they're away, I'm going to take some plywood and box that sucker in. I doubt they'll ever know the difference, but I sure will!
It's been snowing on the surrounding mountains for several hours, but so far, we've only seen light sprinkles on the ground. The third storm is due in either later today or tomorrow, so we'll see what, if anything, arrives to give the parched desert another winter drink.
I like the rain, but not the cold that accompanies it. The wind driving the storm into the valley whips against the metal shed housing my next door neighbor's outside water heater, and the ensuing racket is enough to wake me from a sound sleep. One of these days, when I know they're away, I'm going to take some plywood and box that sucker in. I doubt they'll ever know the difference, but I sure will!
Friday, January 4, 2008
On Any Given Page
A friend presented me with a Christmas treasure: an old book, a really old book, entitled English Composition in Theory and Practice, published by The MacMillan Company in 1909. I’ve known the name Henry Seidel Canby, Ph.D. since my college days, and it is his name at the top of the authorship list, followed by four colleagues “of the Department of English Composition in the Sheffield Scientific School, of Yale University.”
I’ve been reading steadily since I brought the book home. The book includes both instruction in English composition, much the same today as it was a century ago, and application of the composition skills. The application includes a fascinating collection of essays with an eclectic range of authorship, most of which are obscured by the plethora of paper that comprises today’s society, but which are priceless in the reasoned, timeless analysis of global topics that remain at the forefront of societal concerns a century later.
I particularly enjoyed reading an address delivered by Woodrow Wilson before the Phi Beta Kappa Society of Yale University, entitled ‘The Training of the Intellect.” In his words, I hear my educational philosophy reflected and realize that the same issues he addressed in his speech that day could be my own words to my colleagues a century later: how a student feels about himself while at school is less important than how well educated the student is. The job of the educational institution is academic; if, along the way, a student also builds character, so be it, but that is NOT the primary job of the educational process.
“Mr. Toastmaster, Mr. President, and Gentlemen: -- I must confess to you that I came here with very serious thoughts this evening, because I have been laboring under the conviction for a long time that the object of a university is to educate, and I have not seen the universities of this country achieving any remarkable or disturbing success in that direction. … Is it not time we stopped asking indulgence for learning and proclaimed its sovereignty? Is it not time we reminded the college men of this country that they have no right to any distinctive place in any community, unless they can show it by intellectual achievement?”
Further in his address, Wilson defines the element of character, remarking that “I hear a great deal about character being the object of education.” Wilson asserts that “Character, gentlemen, is a by-product. It comes, whether you will or not, as a consequence of a life devoted to the nearest duty, and the place in which character would be cultivated, if it be a place of study, is a place where study is the object and character the result.” He concludes that “The object of a university is intellect; as a university its only object is intellect.”
I smiled as I read his words that also challenge the scholars of a hundred years ago to think before they act: “That is the function of scholarship in a country like ours, to supply not heat, but light, to suffuse things with the calm radiance of reason, to see to it that men do not act hastily, but that they act considerately, that they obey the truth.” Time for today’s spin doctors and instant media analysts to become history, rather than a driving force in today’s world.
The truth is that all people need to be educated, but not all people need the same education. This basic premise is ignored in the No Child Left Behind frenzy, as the unique needs of the student population are replaced with generic non-academic curricula that presumably meet the needs of all students at all times and in all classrooms, but which actually meet the needs of very few students in very few classrooms at any given time.
Without the basic educational tools, the foundation of reading, writing, speaking, listening, and thinking, there is no “education,” there is simply behavioral training. Students who cannot read and understand the written word, students who cannot write a basic sentence or orally articulate a basic idea, students who cannot perform basic, functional mathematical computations, students who cannot think for themselves, are students who cannot succeed past grammar school level. They cannot be educated because they have not mastered the basic core knowledge necessary to go beyond the elementary stages of the educational process. They may have been trained to function as students in whatever way that designation is currently publicized by the media, but they are not academically prepared, they are not intellectually engaged, they are not adequately educated.
Wilson ends his speech with stirring passion: “… if the Faculties in this country want to recapture the ground that they have lost, they must begin pretty soon, and they must go into the battle with their bridges burned behind them so that it will be of no avail to retreat.” I feel the same way about No Child Left Behind: if we want to educate students for what lies ahead, we have to go back to required mastery of the foundations of learning, actual knowledge of key academic concepts and skills, and hold students accountable for learning, rather than apologizing for and excusing their failure.
As a nation, we either believe in educating our citizens or we don’t, and if we believe that all citizens need an education, then we have to demand that they get it. We cannot give it to the student as it has to be earned, and education requires equal effort from the educational institution and the individual student to achieve. We cannot say let’s not leave any child behind and then devise a system that leaves the majority of them unable to read, write, speak, listen, and think as the culminating achievement of our educational process.
I’ve been reading steadily since I brought the book home. The book includes both instruction in English composition, much the same today as it was a century ago, and application of the composition skills. The application includes a fascinating collection of essays with an eclectic range of authorship, most of which are obscured by the plethora of paper that comprises today’s society, but which are priceless in the reasoned, timeless analysis of global topics that remain at the forefront of societal concerns a century later.
I particularly enjoyed reading an address delivered by Woodrow Wilson before the Phi Beta Kappa Society of Yale University, entitled ‘The Training of the Intellect.” In his words, I hear my educational philosophy reflected and realize that the same issues he addressed in his speech that day could be my own words to my colleagues a century later: how a student feels about himself while at school is less important than how well educated the student is. The job of the educational institution is academic; if, along the way, a student also builds character, so be it, but that is NOT the primary job of the educational process.
“Mr. Toastmaster, Mr. President, and Gentlemen: -- I must confess to you that I came here with very serious thoughts this evening, because I have been laboring under the conviction for a long time that the object of a university is to educate, and I have not seen the universities of this country achieving any remarkable or disturbing success in that direction. … Is it not time we stopped asking indulgence for learning and proclaimed its sovereignty? Is it not time we reminded the college men of this country that they have no right to any distinctive place in any community, unless they can show it by intellectual achievement?”
Further in his address, Wilson defines the element of character, remarking that “I hear a great deal about character being the object of education.” Wilson asserts that “Character, gentlemen, is a by-product. It comes, whether you will or not, as a consequence of a life devoted to the nearest duty, and the place in which character would be cultivated, if it be a place of study, is a place where study is the object and character the result.” He concludes that “The object of a university is intellect; as a university its only object is intellect.”
I smiled as I read his words that also challenge the scholars of a hundred years ago to think before they act: “That is the function of scholarship in a country like ours, to supply not heat, but light, to suffuse things with the calm radiance of reason, to see to it that men do not act hastily, but that they act considerately, that they obey the truth.” Time for today’s spin doctors and instant media analysts to become history, rather than a driving force in today’s world.
The truth is that all people need to be educated, but not all people need the same education. This basic premise is ignored in the No Child Left Behind frenzy, as the unique needs of the student population are replaced with generic non-academic curricula that presumably meet the needs of all students at all times and in all classrooms, but which actually meet the needs of very few students in very few classrooms at any given time.
Without the basic educational tools, the foundation of reading, writing, speaking, listening, and thinking, there is no “education,” there is simply behavioral training. Students who cannot read and understand the written word, students who cannot write a basic sentence or orally articulate a basic idea, students who cannot perform basic, functional mathematical computations, students who cannot think for themselves, are students who cannot succeed past grammar school level. They cannot be educated because they have not mastered the basic core knowledge necessary to go beyond the elementary stages of the educational process. They may have been trained to function as students in whatever way that designation is currently publicized by the media, but they are not academically prepared, they are not intellectually engaged, they are not adequately educated.
Wilson ends his speech with stirring passion: “… if the Faculties in this country want to recapture the ground that they have lost, they must begin pretty soon, and they must go into the battle with their bridges burned behind them so that it will be of no avail to retreat.” I feel the same way about No Child Left Behind: if we want to educate students for what lies ahead, we have to go back to required mastery of the foundations of learning, actual knowledge of key academic concepts and skills, and hold students accountable for learning, rather than apologizing for and excusing their failure.
As a nation, we either believe in educating our citizens or we don’t, and if we believe that all citizens need an education, then we have to demand that they get it. We cannot give it to the student as it has to be earned, and education requires equal effort from the educational institution and the individual student to achieve. We cannot say let’s not leave any child behind and then devise a system that leaves the majority of them unable to read, write, speak, listen, and think as the culminating achievement of our educational process.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Life's Journey
I gave up on New Year's resolutions a long time ago, but I believe firmly in life resolutions, which have led to some major decisions in my life along the way. This year, the life resolution is to clean up the detritus that I don't want someone else to deal with when I'm not here to do it myself.
If the journey of a lifetime begins with a single step, extending the idea, cleaning the garage begins with the first action.
Yesterday, I drove to JT and dumped the last of the construction detritus, thus freeing the back of the truck to receive the detritus from the garage, of which there is plenty. I had stored a few things in the guest room that needed to be donated to charity, along with some clothing and other items that were in the garage. I also had refuse that needed to be taken out to the curb, so that's where I began.
It will take many weeks of consistent determination to make headway, but that's the plan. I've put it off as long as I can, still don't have answers about all of the teaching materials, but I'll leave that to last and work my way around those boxes. It's difficult to assess 30 years of teaching materials with eyes that are looking at the very real need to downsize. By the time I work my way through the rest of the boxes, I'll have that answer.
There is shelving to be installed on the walls for that which is going to be saved. I'm not sure what that will be, if anything, but before I can attack the boxes, I have to have new boxes and packing material, as well as a place to put what stays. On the way home from the trip to empty the truck of the first load, I'll stop by Lowes and pick up the screws I need for the installation of the shelves and get that part of the job done first, which should provide the incentive to continue.
If the journey of a lifetime begins with a single step, extending the idea, cleaning the garage begins with the first action.
Yesterday, I drove to JT and dumped the last of the construction detritus, thus freeing the back of the truck to receive the detritus from the garage, of which there is plenty. I had stored a few things in the guest room that needed to be donated to charity, along with some clothing and other items that were in the garage. I also had refuse that needed to be taken out to the curb, so that's where I began.
It will take many weeks of consistent determination to make headway, but that's the plan. I've put it off as long as I can, still don't have answers about all of the teaching materials, but I'll leave that to last and work my way around those boxes. It's difficult to assess 30 years of teaching materials with eyes that are looking at the very real need to downsize. By the time I work my way through the rest of the boxes, I'll have that answer.
There is shelving to be installed on the walls for that which is going to be saved. I'm not sure what that will be, if anything, but before I can attack the boxes, I have to have new boxes and packing material, as well as a place to put what stays. On the way home from the trip to empty the truck of the first load, I'll stop by Lowes and pick up the screws I need for the installation of the shelves and get that part of the job done first, which should provide the incentive to continue.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Property Rights
The kids got new bikes for Christmas. Because their parents park in their driveways, they are using my drive as a launch pad for "races" and a turn-around. The bikes have training wheels, so they don't go very fast, but they are also riding the bikes into the street without looking to see if the roadway is clear.
Since Christmas morning, I've tried to keep quiet about the constant use of my property for their bike riding, but enough is enough. I've gone outside for the second day in a row to direct them not to ride onto my property, to go to their own homes and ride in their own driveways. Today, the little guy assured me that they'll be quiet and not disturb me: they're just having fun.
No, I told them, you may NOT ride your bikes on my driveway. Go home and ride your bikes at your house.
They did leave--again--and they'll be back again. School resumes maybe tomorrow, so perhaps it'll become a non-issue. Meanwhile, I'm back to contemplating a gate across the driveway.
Since Christmas morning, I've tried to keep quiet about the constant use of my property for their bike riding, but enough is enough. I've gone outside for the second day in a row to direct them not to ride onto my property, to go to their own homes and ride in their own driveways. Today, the little guy assured me that they'll be quiet and not disturb me: they're just having fun.
No, I told them, you may NOT ride your bikes on my driveway. Go home and ride your bikes at your house.
They did leave--again--and they'll be back again. School resumes maybe tomorrow, so perhaps it'll become a non-issue. Meanwhile, I'm back to contemplating a gate across the driveway.
Personal Resolve
The "astrology team" at MSN offers 3 resolutions for the first day of the rest of your life, so I've borrowed them to clarify my own resolve.
First resolution: Get your own life in order — NOW. Whatever is uncertain, firm it up. Pay off as many debts as you can, and avoid running up any new ones. Start setting aside a little nest egg for yourself, and clear up any tension there may be between you and friends or family members to improve the mood.
Response: This is pretty much how I live my life, but how do I persuade others to do likewise? My "village" is guilty of the affluent life style, a life style that all too often is WAY beyond their means. I'm not.
Second resolution: Don’t depend on anyone but yourself to solve your problems. By taking matters into your own hands, you will be able to enact change in your life and in the lives of those close to you — if you want something done right, do it yourself! If you’re dissatisfied with your life, work to change it, perhaps by joining one of the grassroots movements that have been popping up like mushrooms all over the world.
Response: I've been the responsible party for the past 40-something years, pretty much doing whatever it takes to acquit myself with honor. Unfortunately, being a self-sufficient, non-conforming member of the "village" is not what others expect, with the result being that I am (perhaps) too independent, too emotionally distant, too self-sufficient. What I've also learned is that change isn't good or bad, it's just different, but the impact of the changes I make on others needs to be part of the decision-making process before I implement the change. All too often living with the change is worse than accepting the status quo.
Third resolution: Get involved. What cause appeals to you the most? Is it world peace, health and fitness for all, sustainable energy, or perhaps the rights of the weak, such as children and animals? Doing good for others will give you inspiration in other areas of your life, and overcoming obstacles will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment. Now is not the time to back down from a challenge — you could surprise yourself with how successfully you dealt with a difficult situation.
Response: I've given of myself for the past 40 years until there isn't much left for anything other than a small circle of family, friends, and responsibilities. My best efforts over the years have resulted in censure more often than praise because other people don't like those who do more than they do, or do it better or without regard for the extrinsic payback. Up until 10 years ago, I thought I had a lot to contribute to the world, but people and events convinced me that is not the case. I moved in another direction, leaving self-serving altruism to those who need it to build their resume or their own self-esteem.
Summary: I'm not a bad person, but I could be a better person. I can do more, but I already do more than what I advertise to others. I can change myself, but I cannot change others, so what difference does it make if I change? Why not accept that this is who I am, this is what I do/don't do, and if that works for you, then it works for me, and there is an us. If I'm not a person you want to share your time, space, or self with, or if you aren't a person I want to spend my time, space, or self with, then let's move on. It's not all about you, it's also about me, and I need to have as large a voice in my life as others presume to have. There's a difference between making decisions that affect me--and making decisions for me. When I have no voice, I have no life, so if that bothers you, then either deal with it or not, but don't try to make me take your journey: I have my own journey.
It takes a long life to learn the lesson that each of us does the best we can with what we have. As my mother used to caution me, "You can't put an old head onto young shoulders." Today, I'm an older head on older shoulders, so I understand that some people have more than others, intrinsically and /or extrinsically, but we use the tools we have, as well as what we learn as we go along, to make it through one day at a time. Sometimes life works for us, and other times it doesn't, but if we give it our best effort every day, chances are we'll have more workable days than not.
First resolution: Get your own life in order — NOW. Whatever is uncertain, firm it up. Pay off as many debts as you can, and avoid running up any new ones. Start setting aside a little nest egg for yourself, and clear up any tension there may be between you and friends or family members to improve the mood.
Response: This is pretty much how I live my life, but how do I persuade others to do likewise? My "village" is guilty of the affluent life style, a life style that all too often is WAY beyond their means. I'm not.
Second resolution: Don’t depend on anyone but yourself to solve your problems. By taking matters into your own hands, you will be able to enact change in your life and in the lives of those close to you — if you want something done right, do it yourself! If you’re dissatisfied with your life, work to change it, perhaps by joining one of the grassroots movements that have been popping up like mushrooms all over the world.
Response: I've been the responsible party for the past 40-something years, pretty much doing whatever it takes to acquit myself with honor. Unfortunately, being a self-sufficient, non-conforming member of the "village" is not what others expect, with the result being that I am (perhaps) too independent, too emotionally distant, too self-sufficient. What I've also learned is that change isn't good or bad, it's just different, but the impact of the changes I make on others needs to be part of the decision-making process before I implement the change. All too often living with the change is worse than accepting the status quo.
Third resolution: Get involved. What cause appeals to you the most? Is it world peace, health and fitness for all, sustainable energy, or perhaps the rights of the weak, such as children and animals? Doing good for others will give you inspiration in other areas of your life, and overcoming obstacles will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment. Now is not the time to back down from a challenge — you could surprise yourself with how successfully you dealt with a difficult situation.
Response: I've given of myself for the past 40 years until there isn't much left for anything other than a small circle of family, friends, and responsibilities. My best efforts over the years have resulted in censure more often than praise because other people don't like those who do more than they do, or do it better or without regard for the extrinsic payback. Up until 10 years ago, I thought I had a lot to contribute to the world, but people and events convinced me that is not the case. I moved in another direction, leaving self-serving altruism to those who need it to build their resume or their own self-esteem.
Summary: I'm not a bad person, but I could be a better person. I can do more, but I already do more than what I advertise to others. I can change myself, but I cannot change others, so what difference does it make if I change? Why not accept that this is who I am, this is what I do/don't do, and if that works for you, then it works for me, and there is an us. If I'm not a person you want to share your time, space, or self with, or if you aren't a person I want to spend my time, space, or self with, then let's move on. It's not all about you, it's also about me, and I need to have as large a voice in my life as others presume to have. There's a difference between making decisions that affect me--and making decisions for me. When I have no voice, I have no life, so if that bothers you, then either deal with it or not, but don't try to make me take your journey: I have my own journey.
It takes a long life to learn the lesson that each of us does the best we can with what we have. As my mother used to caution me, "You can't put an old head onto young shoulders." Today, I'm an older head on older shoulders, so I understand that some people have more than others, intrinsically and /or extrinsically, but we use the tools we have, as well as what we learn as we go along, to make it through one day at a time. Sometimes life works for us, and other times it doesn't, but if we give it our best effort every day, chances are we'll have more workable days than not.
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