Winning

As I was growing up, I hated playing games because the males in my family enjoyed obliterating the competition, regardless of the game. Dodge ball could have been more aptly called “bruise ball,” and any form of engagement requiring a bat was just pure dangerous. Even “Go, Fish” was a blood sport, so I gave up games at an early age and cannot say I missed them.

My lack of enjoyment carried into mandatory phys ed during both junior high and high school: I was a great equipment carrier and shower monitor, doing anything so I didn’t have to compete on the field of battle with weapons of mass destruction, including tennis and badminton racquets, bows and arrows, and, of course, both softball and cricket bats. We were more civilized back in the 60s than students today, but we still suffered from the psychos who used phys ed to level the playing field of teenage angst.

I do enjoy a good game of Scrabble, but I define “good game” slightly differently than most players, preferring to use my letters cleverly, rather than accruing the highest score. As a matter of fact, I prefer to play Scrabble with those who will agree not to keep score. However, my son is a sneaky scorer who will claim not to keep score, but then know whether he has won or lost at the end of the game, and by how much. And even though we don’t keep score, he can become quite pissy when he loses!

Computer games have taught me that the odds in a game pretty much assure that I will seldom, if ever, actually win. I played Zuma until I cleared the board once – all levels completed—and then quit playing as it took too much time [months], energy and emotional resources to accept the constant failure to achieve that goal. Likewise with both Free Cell and Spider Solitaire, both of which consistently defeat my best attempts to win two games in a row. I’m much better at Free Cell than I am at Spider Solitaire, sometimes stacking up a 62% Free Cell success rate, compared to my dismal high average of 16% at Spider Solitaire. When I get to 100 games completed, I hit the reset button and start over as the higher the number of games played, the more difficult it is to change the percentage by winning a few games here and there.

My favorite computer game is Bookworm, a word game that can continue endlessly, or at least as long as the letters allow the player to make words, accrue points, and not be wiped out in a burn-out. Several times I’ve made it to 50+k points before forcing myself to stop playing and do something constructive.

When I contemplate buying a lottery ticket or visiting a local casino in an effort to boost my retirement income, I remind myself that no matter how much I play to win, the odds are against me. Thus, I forego the pleasure of throwing my hard-earned money away and send a donation to charity instead. When the lottery claims that I cannot win if I do not play, I know that a better slogan is that even if I play, I won’t win!