Totally Terrific Idea

My asthma has been kicking up for a couple of weeks, so I decided perhaps it was time to attack the pet hair magnet: the carpeting. My living room is sort of large and has wall-to-wall carpet to keep my tootsies warm in the winter, while the large areas of tile in other places in the house keep it cool in summer. I've debated doing my own carpet cleaning, rather than calling for professional cleaning, and today I decided to purchase a carpet cleaner and get on with it.

I can say from the perspective of three hours past that decision that it was not one of my finest moments.

First, I went to Wal-Mart, where I also wanted to pick up Dark Knight, which was on sale for $14.99. I went to the a-v section and as I was pushing my cart about, I was stopped by the security guard who informed me that I had to check out at this register. I responded that I had not yet completed my shopping, but was just changing aisles, and she grudgingly allowed me to pass by check-point Charlie.

I looked at some incredible deals on flat screen tv's, as well as some other items, then decided to get in line and check out before continuing my journey through the rest of the store to find the carpet cleaner. The clerk was ancient, supplementing his social security, I'm sure, and couldn't make the blasted register work right (his words, not mine). When he rang up the DVD at $19.99, I told him that it is on sale at $14.99. His reply? "Not today, it isn't."

Some days, I go from pleasant to pissed in a nanosecond. Something about his glib reply hit me wrong, so I directed him to cancel the sale. He informed me that he could not do that, but the option came up on my side of the little credit card machine, so I canceled it. Then he went ballistic because the "darned register" really wouldn't work, even though I told him thrice that I had canceled the sale. He called for help, the problem was solved, and I walked out of the store, determined to spend my time and my money elsewhere.

Then, I turned around and went back in, found a manager, who told me that he wasn't a full manager, but was right under him, which instantly brought me to full guffaw! When he realized how it sounded, he, too, laughed, and said that either came out way wrong -- or was a bit too revealing. I explained that the clerk pissed me off with his reply to my query about the price, he agreed that it was inappropriate, and offered to sell me the DVD for $5, which I turned down because it was a matter of principle with me, which I realized an hour later was totally foolish.

Back to the carpet cleaner.

Filled with righteous indignation, I drove all the way to Target to look at carpet cleaners, found a Bissell that seemed equipped to do the job, bought it and some liquid carpet shampoo, and trundled home. Assembly was actually pretty easy, once I figured out where the long screws went, and then the short ones. I figured out after trying to remove it that the measuring cup is manufactured as part of the bulky lid of the convenient lift-off water container, which made it a challenge to pour the cleaning liquid into the water reservoir, but I did so. Then I filled it with hot water, inserted it into the machine, and was ready.

I had already vacuumed the carpet well, emptying the bagless cleaner a half-dozen times as I went over and over the carpet. I had sprayed with the stain remover, so was determined that this was going to go well. It didn't. I cannot believe how much dog hair was still in the carpet! It came up in huge soppy wet balls that streaked across the (somewhat cleaned) carpet. I emptied the water reservoir 8 times, a lot for the space I was cleaning. The easy-to-remove water reservoir isn't easy to remove after all, as the handle that "locks" it closed, doesn't, so as I tried to lift that part out of the machine to refill it, I dumped the entire container across the carpet. Sure, it was filled with filthy dirty water: that's why I was taking it out! To empty it and refill it! Dammit.

When I was finally finished with the living room, I cleaned the machine and then used it as an extraction device to help the drying process, especially in the area of the dirty water pond I had created. Amazingly, even more pet hair came out of the carpet along with the water, so I feel confident that I have sufficiently cleaned the carpet and can now call in the professionals to do the job that only a professional can do.

I did a quick run-over in both the office and the bedroom, but have decided that cleaning the 2 couches is going to wait for another day.

Now, I would sit on my clean couches, in my clean carpeted living room, and watch Dark Night this evening, but the carpet is wet, the couches aren't cleaned, and I don't have the DVD. Perfect.