DONE With Doctors!!

For the past couple of years, something goes awry with my body, I try to self-medicate, the symptoms worsen, so I make an appointment for medical advice and, hopefully, treatment. Hah! I'm better off staying at home doing whatever I can to allow enough time for the cure to develop on its own.

When I had on-going chest pains for a week, strong enough that I could not stand up and/or breathe, I called my doctor, who directed me to call 9-1-1. No, I told him, I just need a check-up to see what's wrong. Go to the ER; go to the ER; go to the ER. Three days later, ongoing chest pains that required nitro tables under my tongue to quell and a probe of my femoral artery, as well as my carotids, and a 24-hour heart monitor, there was "nothing wrong," just some premature ventricular contractions -- and that's no big deal. No treatment because my arteries are good, my heart is strong, my blood pressure is fine, but if it happens again, go to the ER. Huh, I thought, how will I ever know if/when I have a heart attack because ... all my symptoms led me to believe that I WAS having a heart attack!!

When my left hand seized up about a year after shattering my shoulder and cracking my collar bone, I massaged, I iced, I immobilized, I dealt with the pain until I couldn't, then called for medical help. It was nothing because the x-rays showed it was nothing. Oh, yeah, the symptoms and the pain and the loss of function were real, but it was nothing. No diagnosis; no treatment; no relief. It took about about six months for the pain to subside and, believe it or not, that happened when a psychic grasped my hand in hers. I felt warmth, blessed healing heat seeping into the area, and after about 10 minutes, my hand was healed. Yeah, I didn't believe it either, but it's true.

More recently, when a hard lump in my back was causing me constant pain and literally making me sick to my stomach, I used hot compresses and took lots of aspirin. When I finally went to the doctor about a week after the symptoms began because I was getting no relief, she agreed that there was a "mass" that needed an MRI. After 2 hours in the tunnel, it was "nothing." No diagnosis; no treatment; no relief. The lump is still in my back; it's still sore to the touch; and I'm still pissed.

Yesterday, same thing. I hurt my right knee at Thanksgiving when the edge of my knee snapped against the metal ridge of the closet door track. It hurt like hell when it happened, but ice, staying off it, et cetera, seemed to be doing the healing job, until recently. When I bent down to check my mailbox at the post office last week, my knee wouldn't bend and the action was painful. There has been a heavy feeling in it, as well as heat and a sudden feeling of liquid, as if it were bleeding inside. Sometimes, just the touch of the denim of my trousers across it sends a sharp, shooting pain up my leg. I may be stubborn, but I'm not obstinate, so I again called for a medical opinion.

Hah: if the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result, I'm insane. Called last week, made the appointment for "early afternoon," knowing how hard it is to come back across the freeway from 4 pm on. Arrived on time; filled out a new set of paperwork as a "new" patient, although I've been a patient at the world-renowned ortho clinic since the 1980s, then joined at least 50 other patients waiting for the next step. I made it to the next waiting room, then through the x-ray process, and then into the doctor's waiting area before being seen, a full 2 hours after arriving at the facility.

As I waited behind the closed door, I could hear the doctor sharing personal conversation with his office staff that began with a query of how many more patients he had to get through before the end of day, followed with a power-walk as he came down the hallway seeing patients. I timed him: 3 minutes per opening door and exiting. My turn came, the door opened, he greeted me, asked me how I was, checked the x-rays, told me there is nothing wrong with my knee. I briefly described the accident, as well as the symptomology, but he repeated that there's nothing wrong. His advice? Continue doing what you've been doing, as that seems to be working, and if the knee isn't better in a month or so, reschedule and we'll take another look.

I laughed and told him, "that's so not going to happen," picked up my things and left probably within the 3 minutes all the other patients shared with him. My vow is to stay the hell away from doctors as they don't make a difference: they just make more appointments.

My frustration was aggravated with pounding rain pouring from the dense cloud covering. I drove home in heavy rain and traffic, sometimes encountering intersections that should have been closed, as well as raging rivers running along the curbsides that made driving in the right lanes dangerous. I pulled over several times for emergency vehicles, but got home before all the road closings began. We're due for more rain today, and perhaps some snow, so of course it's the first day of classes -- and the parking lot refurbish is not completed, so we all have to take to the dirt lots and make a long hike to our classrooms. Snow is predicted in the local mountains, which means the mountains between here and there, so that may be problematic before I drive back home after 8 pm.

At this point in time, whatever.