Punditing

One of my pleasures is surfing the talking head networks, listening to snippets of posturing, prognosticating, and pontificating from the political pundits. If we believe Stewart, O'Reilly, Cobert, Beck et al in toto, we’d cement ourselves into the unused bomb shelters from the 1950s and pray for the end of the world to release us from the hash we’ve made of it.

On the other hand, if we listen as we go about doing other tasks, multi-tasking as we sing the Happy Working Song, some gems reveal themselves and offer fodder for folderol. Specifically, Colbert’s conversation with Madeline Albright, who has published a self-aggrandizing tome that glorifies the administration for which she worked, addressed the 81% of poll participants who believe we’re headed to hell in a hand-basket, while questioning the logic behind the 19% who refuse to come aboard the media train, implying that the majority is correct, while the minority is wrong, rather than allowing that there is validity to both points of view.

A visual leapt into mind, based on somewhat watching Dancing with the Stars last night: P Presley’s face. I used to think Elvis’s former spouse (she glosses over the other husbands with whom she has shared a name) was attractive, particularly as she celebrated birthdays and grew into her mature womanhood. I could see why she attracted so many movers and shakers into her world as any man would be glad to escort her in public. However, has anyone told her how grotesquely comical her new facelift look is? Jack Nicholson as the Joker comes to mind, as well as the advance photos of the late Heath Ledger in costume for his soon-to-be-released last film.

The lips are atrocious and the obviously plumped apple cheeks are simply distracting. At age 62, a woman should look relaxed, comfortable with herself and her appearance, not appear to be a clone of the costumed Marie Osmond doll routine from last season’s Dancing! Pricilla’s face lift should at least command a total refund: I wonder if she used the same surgeon Meg Ryan allowed to seriously alter her adorable looks? Both of them should contact the person who does the one-day, non-invasive face lift touted by a local resident who says she's 64, but few people believe it, including me. She looks great--but still resembles her "before" photo, a claim 'Cilla can no longer make!

So, if 81% of Pricilla’s contacts approve of the look, does that mean it’s a great look? Or do the 19% who think she looks absurdly comical also have an accurate response to the alterations? Is one side right, while the other side wrong, or is one side going along with what’s politically correct and publicly expected, while the minority is actually a whole lot closer to the truth than those who go along to get ahead?

Will the country really be better off with an Obama/Clinton ticket, or will it simply have twice the political problems the pundits attribute to the current administration? Do voters who chirp that they’ll vote for Hillary because Bill was such a “great President” believe (1) that Clinton I was a “great President” and (2) that somehow his White House tenancy assures that his wife will also be a “great President”? Is it really okay to elect Obama because it's "this [black] man, this time"?

Is it okay to elect McCain—as long as he has a younger, well-qualified running mate? If that person is available, why aren’t we running him/her for the top office, rather than assuring the line of succession when the oldest candidate to run for the office gets the votes? I’m not sure I can vote for a man’s running mate and hope that the President dies in office so we get a “great [Republican] President.”

I doubt that we can simply withdraw from Iraq without paying a tremendous consequence: World War III. The Japanese were cleaning up Hiroshima before the fires were out; the Iraqis don't seem to be able to function independently. If we aren't there to tell them what to do and how to do it, someone will gladly provide that direction once we leave. No matter how we got there, we cannot pull the plug without creating a vacuum into which unscrupulous world leaders will gladly leap, assuring their dictatorial dominance with regimes that will make Saddam Hussein look benevolent.

I also think that financial institutions and individuals who speculate on real estate at the expense of the mortgage-paying population should be allowed to fail. Using Colbert’s statistics, I’d venture to say that at least 81% of us are paying our mortgages, and the 19% who default are in the wrong.

The cheerleaders who beat up another girl, filmed it, and think it’s a hoot ought to be tried as adults and serve serious jail time. If 81% of the teens who view the filmed event think it’s tight, does that make it right?

On the other hand, the six-year-old who patted a girl’s butt on the playground probably won’t see the error of his ways because … he’s six! Kids that age (probably 81% of them) touch each other, so perhaps a man-to-man talk could be justified, not police intervention and removal of the little boy from school.

Some days, I just like to talk back to those who do their talking so publicly because I've realized that my credentials and life experience are at least equal to most of theirs. However, I will admit that I've never been a contestant on a reality show, so I don't ever expect to achieve "star" status.