It is what it is ...

Anyone who tells me that their perception is their reality gets a wide berth as that is a person who thinks that what they see, what they say, what they think or do is the truth, and anyone who does not see, say, think or do as they is wrong. I’ve had encounters with these people in the past, people who have caused me the deepest heartache of my life until I had the strength to cut them out of my life and refuse to allow them back in. This weekend, listening to John Edwards’ news conference, Aldous Huxley’s quote came to mind: Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. I was stunned when John Edwards’ actually said that God forgives him, his wife forgives him, so let’s all move on, the classic “sorry” excuse that far too many people believe provides license to act with impunity in their personal and professional lives.

I wish that life were as easy as Edwards wants it to be.

Edwards path is so much easier! He admits he had (I wonder about the use of the past tense; is this something one gets over?) a huge ego and believed he could act without consequences, obviously not realizing that he is continuing both the ego and the freedom of not conforming to the rules during the revelations of his infidelity. He may think his wife has forgiven him, but I’m going to suspect it is more a St. Francis reaction: there are some things in life that have to be accepted because they cannot be changed, and she’s dealing with terminal cancer. If I were Mrs. Edwards, I’d probably be exercising the wisdom 24/7 to accept that which I cannot change, but there wouldn't be much forgiveness involved in that decision.

Then, there are the pundits, the TV personalities who themselves must not have been tempted nor strayed from the straight and narrow path because they are bringing large piles of stones to the set with them and tossing them with glee at yet another politician caught with his zipper down. If it is he who is without sin who is entitled to cast the first stone, there are a lot more saints in politics and the media than I ever could have imagined. ANY good-looking, nicely built, articulate and powerful man who says he’s never strayed best be hoping that there aren’t storm clouds in the skies when he avers that purity! Perhaps it depends on how one defines “having sex with that woman” or the semantics of the word “is,” but biologically, men are ready, willing, and thanks to the little blue pills, more able to act on offers of sex from any and all willing women. Today’s morality says go for it because it’s all about me, myself, and I. There is no us anymore, not even in marriage, where “us” is the foundation without which it’s just another hook-up.

What’s next? The woman says there is no need for a paternity test, which means that she knows with whom she had sex that resulted in a pregnancy. I doubt that she was really doing Edwards and a campaign worker simultaneously because she seems smart enough to know on which side of the bread one applies the butter and jelly! I’m guessing that when she told Edwards she was pregnant, he made the tangential decision to do the “right thing” and cover his ass by doing whatever it takes to get out of this mess, even dumping it into the lap of an easily-duped campaign worker. The recurrence of his wife’s cancer out of remission can probably also be traced to the conversation her husband had with her, and I doubt it either began with “it was nothing” or ended with “I forgive you.” There is a lot of dirty laundry hanging out these days, and I’m sure we’ll be doing more wash in the coming weeks.

Huxley assures us that the facts are the facts, and John Edwards is trying to make them go away by ignoring them. Life comes crashing down when the truth comes out from underneath the layers of lies. It is far better to admit the truth, deal with, and then pray that you don’t die before either making the deathbed confession or actually changing your life to acknowledge the sin and atone for it. Edwards might want to get busy working on that plan.