Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Birds Do It, Bees Do It, But Dogs Do It Better

Mia doesn’t like either cats or birds, especially if said invaders breech her yard. Because I’ve replanted all the edges of the backyard, I’m trying to get Mia to dig elsewhere … anywhere else in the yard she chooses … just NOT in the newly-planted vegetation.

I noticed a rather large mound nestled in among the newly-planted hedge along the edge of the driveway, behind one of the rocks I stood up for artistic interest during this phase of the landscaping. Hm, thought I, perhaps there are gophers enjoying the fresh plants, so I leaned over to investigate and brushed the freshly-turned dirt to the side.

Mia took out another pigeon! They fly too close to her or, gasp, actually land in her yard and they are (literally) dog food! Thankfully, alerted by the noise of dispatching the invader, I can usually scoop up the remains and deposit them across the street for the scavengers before Mia settles in for her snack as I just cannot abide the thought that she would actually eat the fruits of her labors, but she’s a dog. A big dog. A big dog who really doesn’t like either cats or pigeons.

She’s been back to the burial site several times since I removed the body, scratching and sniffing, perhaps wondering where the hell her late-night snack got off to, but I keep “no-noing” her and, so far, she’s left the area each time I’ve caught her there.

We’ll see what it looks like in the morning. It could well be that I'll have to replant the entire hedge when she can't find her buried treasure. Maybe I'll go put a dog bone in the same spot and trick her into thinking that's what she buried?

Sure, that's going to work. Not.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

What a Wonderful Weekend

Friday morning, I shared b’fast with my local friends and asked them to send positive energy out so my son’s approval to relocate to Canada would finally be granted. It’s his birthday weekend, and there is nothing that could make him happier.

It worked.

Friday he received confirmation of his immigration application from the Canadian embassy in LA. There are a couple of little steps that have to be completed, but he’s ready to start packing as his last day at work is the 30th of April. Although he’s been married for over a year, he’s lived apart from his wife while they have gone through the immigration process, as well as a beautiful church wedding to confirm the civil vows they exchanged a year ago February.

Saturday morning, I drove to LA and spent the day sharing a birthday adventure that took us to the Festival of Books at UCLA and then some sightseeing in Hollywood and Beverly Hills. We did a few of the tourist things, including lunch at the original Barney’s Beanery, the stop at the famous footprints, and a walk through the Kodak Theater, but it was too hot to do too much. By the time we returned to Orange County and I picked up my car, we were all hot and tired.

My drive home was uneventful due to the light traffic (for a change), but the transition from the 60 to I-10 reopened within minutes of my arrival at that spot, where a minor brush fire was started by a traffic collision on I-10 earlier in the day.

Sunday, my movie buddy and I saw Miss Pettigrew, an odd film, to say the least. It is very much a comedy of manners, with the overly-stylized costumes, acting and dialogue, and, at times, reminded me of an amateurish high school production of inexperienced actors. I enjoyed it, but would not watch it again as this movie is truly a case of once is enough.

Tomorrow, back to the yard landscaping project as temps hover in the high 90s and tickle the low triple digits. If I’m out early enough—or stay outside later in the evening—I can finish up the last of the in-process projects while I contemplate whether to call in concrete guys or lay out a brick patio myself. It’s a decision I’ll make soon, after I finish weighing the pros and the cons of both methods. I already know it’ll cost me less to do the bricks myself, but that’s because my labor is free!

I just have to answer the question: Do I REALLY want to carry and place 900 bricks all by my lonesome? If the answer is yes, I go place the order; if the answer is maybe, I'll read some of the new books waiting for me by my bed; and if the answer is no, I go shopping for the concrete guys.

Friday, April 25, 2008

A Yard's Worth of Work

Today, on the way home from b'fast, I stopped at the big box store for supplies aimed at completing 2 specific tasks: hide the dog run and finish the planter along the edge of the driveway.

Mission accomplished!

Chain link fence isn't attractive, so I decided to cover it with vinyl latticework when I walked by the display and saw it was 20% off. I added a 100-piece package of vinyl zip ties and voila! The dog run is hidden. Believe it or not, I used up all the zip ties and could actually use another package so the lattice doesn't lift in the winds, but I think it's okay.

I staked up the hedge plants, then completed the rock boundary, added more black planter soil to the bed, and watered it in. What an improvement that little change made. I decided that I'm going to use redwood fence slats for the border along the oleander, as well as along the fence for the dog run, but I don't think I'm going to plant that area until the fall as it's taking me too long to get to that part of the project.

I still haven't painted the last privacy screen and epoxied it to the cement, but that's on tap for Sunday morning as it won't take long. I've avoided doing it while the winds have been blowing, but it's supposed to be HOT, HOT, HOT and no wind, so the timing is perfect.

Now, here's the deal: the big box store is having a home improvement promotion, so for every $1k a customer who signs up for the card spends, the store is going to send a $100 gift card. If I get a tax rebate (which I probably won't due to the "bonus" money from my STRS account when I retired) and add to it the gift cards I'm going to get, I can pay for the bricks I need to make the patio! I got the card prior to ordering the windows, which starts me off at $3k, but I'm not going to spend another $1k just to earn another $100 gift card!

Anyway, the yard is looking nice and I can't wait to have a functioning gliding patio door so I can go outside and use the patio.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Time Warner Cable Service Sucks!

I am totally fed up with Time Warner, my cable TV provider! Last night, knowing I could not stay up to see Jesse L. Martin’s last episode on Law and Order, I made sure TiVO was set to capture the show for me. This morning, I put together my b’fast, got a fresh cup of coffee, and settled in to watch the show; however, the prime time feature on NBC channel 4 at 10 pm last night provided by Time Warner Cable is the esteemed Dr. Milauskus, of the Milauskus Eye Institute, touting yet another one of his many services for vision-impaired desert residents!

My cable bill used to be $31.95 a month; however, when Adelphia sold out to Time Warner, there was a change in the line-up, touted as an upgrade, and my bill, for the same “basic” cable service I had been receiving, became $55.84. Now, mind you, this basic service does not include the special channels, such as Show Time—just the basic network and affiliate channels. While the rest of the world watched The Sopranos and Six Feet Under, I didn't because I took the basic cable option (retired person, remember?). I cannot afford to pay an additional $30 per month to get the next level of cable service!

I complained vehemently when the changes were announced, but was assured by a perky customer service representative that “more channels have been added to the basic service to enhance my viewing experience.” Well, those additional channels include a dozen Spanish-language channels (I don’t speak Spanish), a half-dozen shop-on-line channels (I don’t go there), as well as increased children’s programming (my children are grown and watching their own TVs) and more sports programming (lots of Mexican soccer, college football, tennis and golf, none of which I watch), as well as ethnic TV programming that features a constant stream of explicit profanity and semi-clothed sexual activity disguised as rap videos, not my personal cup of tea.

At the same time, the “upgrade” provided by Time Warner included the sudden switching of network channels to local promotional television! So, if a customer checks the TV Guide to see what network shows are listed on the network channels and plans their viewing accordingly, the local Time Warner service changes the programming.

What makes this so insidious is that the nationally-known network channels are the victims, replaced by local broadcasting that makes no sense. If the TV guides, both printed and electronic, show that the prime time network programming is being broadcast on a nationally-known network station, the local affiliates probably have switched the program to another channel and replaced the advertised network program with home-grown promotional programming. Do they really believe that local viewers will watch another tour of an exclusive real estate property, a fascinating exploration of professional dental whitening, and in-depth discussion of "affordable" cosmetic surgery procedures that none of us can afford instead of the prime time network show they thought they were going to watch?

Using Extra and Access Hollywood, both of which are NBC network shows, as an example, why does Access become a local KPSP (CBS) show at 7:30 pm when it’s listed as an NBC network show on the TV guide? Access starts on NBC, then is suddenly replaced with local programming, but if the viewer switches to channel KPSP/CBS, there's Access! Why does the local TV Guide show that Law and Order is on NBC channel 4, but broadcast on Channel 6? Why is Ellen on at 4 pm either on KPSP CBS channel 2--or KNBC channel 4? If Ellen is a network show, which network owns it and schedules its programming? Viewers want to know whether to watch the CBS or NBC network, not have to flip through the channels to see which one the local cable service provider has chosen for a nationally-known network talk show broadcast!

If I knew how to file a class-action lawsuit, I’d do it to force Time Warner to at least honor the network listings published nationally for programming that is established as standard prime time TV viewing during the evening hours. If they want to mess with the other 18 hours of the day by substituting network programming with local promotions, that would be okay with me, but DON’T MESS WITH PRIME TIME!

There is no customization in cable--no customer at all, it seems--so I either accept whatever Time Warner provides or do without TV because Time Warner Cable is the only cable game in town.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Honoring Earth Day

In recognition of Earth Day, I took all the yard clippings in the back of the truck to the dump, where there is a green recycling section. Upon arrival back home, I washed the truck inside and out, watering the plants in the process and turning the hose off when I wasn't using it.

I've also been using the dish water to water the plants. I used to do this all the time, but stopped when I began living by myself and not doing many dishes. Now, I'm back on board with recycling the dish water.

I also planted the climbing hedge plants along the driveway edge of the back yard, even though I don't have the rocks to make the border (yet). I put in a temporary restraint and built up the dirt in the planting bed, so it'll be okay until I find more rocks. It was important to finish the planting before it's too hot to establish plants.

The soaker hoses aren't going to work in the planter beds, so I'm going to have to install a watering system sooner than later if I want this project to thrive. It's a simple install, so I'll see if someone has time to do it for me before I leave for my summer adventure with Jack.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Renovation Rant

It is time to replace the living room window, so I thought I’d also replace the gliding glass door to my patio as I seldom go out there because the door doesn’t slide. I’ve talked to 3 different sources for replacements, discounting one as way too high and another that was higher than the other big box store across the street. The store I chose has an “e” upgrade promotion, so I can get a better energy rating than if I wait to purchase the products, so that’s what I decided to do.

... something about 2 birds and 1 stone comes to mind ...

The living room window should be replaced by insurance as it was a victim of vandalism, but my deductible is $500 and the total cost of the replacement, including installation and delivery, is $867. Thus, I’m going to pay the majority of the cost, but perhaps the insurance company will kick in a bit on the other side of the deductible. However, the gliding glass door, which I chose over the swing open door because that one is $550 more than the simple replacement slider, is $1325. Okay, so it’s a vinyl, rather than an aluminum door, and it is energy efficient, but that’s a whole lot more than I ever dreamed a slider could/should cost.

Adding the figures in my head, I came up with about $1700 in materials and then needed to know how much labor would cost. Wish I had been sitting down when that question was answered!

The LABOR for these “pull one out, put the other in, adjust the flanges” installation projects is $1250! The living room window incurs an “oversize” charge in addition to the installation charge, although it comes as one piece, fits inside the existing casing, and takes about 1/2 hour to install. The slider is going to involve $400 worth of “extra installation charges,” which include framing pieces I didn’t know I needed. I listened carefully to the “built-in flanges that cover the existing frame” part of the sale’s pitch and asked several times: so ALL I need is the door, right?” I guess the good news is that had I gone with the open door/fixed door garden style replacement, not only would it have cost more to purchase, but more to install, too.

Bottom line: my budget of $2500 for the window and the slider replacements is a solid $3050.00, down from the original $3350 total. I complained and Jered, the sale’s rep, knocked the labor down a bit and deleted the sales tax, both of which came after I pointed out the sign hanging behind the register: “LOWE'S SPECIAL: Installation on vinyl replacement windows $149.00. Installation on exterior doors $249.00.”

The catch? That only applies to certain product, not to just any old door or window, so it’s not going to apply to my purchase!

Now, I wait for about 21 days for the product to arrive and then wait to schedule an appointment with the company that completes the installation, so it may be another 3-5 weeks before I actually have a new window and a new gliding glass door to my patio. Meanwhile, my credit card was charged today, so that bill will arrive in my mailbox long before the products are delivered to my door, much less installed, but I'll tell you this: it better be a damn fine installation or it's going to be redone until it's perfect.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Moving Right Along

This morning turned out to be quite productive as I cleaned out the oleander "hedge" between my property and the rental next door. Much of the shrubbery was so dead and dry that it easily pulled out of the ground, but lots of branches had to be forcefully removed before I could trim the remaining plants.

The remains of the oleander massacre fill the bed of my pick-up truck, which means I now have to make a dump run and pay to remove the garden waste. We aren't allowed to put yard clippings into our weekly disposal barrels, even though I pay A LOT for curbside pickup whether I have a full barrel or an empty one sitting on the curb. I'm tempted to do what everyone else does: put the yard trimmings on the bottom and the garbage sacks on top so it appears as if I'm following the rules no one else follows!

The neighbors now have a nice, open view into my backyard and patio area, even those who live on the ground level. I did establish a rock border down 1/2 of the fence line, but have to go on another rock-hunting mission before I can finish that part of the project. I'm going to buy soil enhancer and dump it into the area to help absorb water once I begin to water the remaining bushes, which should fill in and re-establish a privacy screen.

Before I can establish any new plants at the driveway edge of the yard, my next project, I have to bring in extra dirt to fill in/up the areas that are bare. I need about 4-6 inches the entire length of that area before I plant the hedge I want to cover the view to the street.

My next door neighbor, who doesn't speak much English, watched me work for about an hour, encouraging me with head shakes, shoulder shrugs, "bueno," "uh" and "oh," which was kinda nice. He's the guy who whistles for Mia--and she responds instantly--and gives her bones to bury in what are now the planters. He also tosses his cigarettes into my yard, but maybe he'll stop doing that now that he's "helped" me to clean up the yard?

When the damned wind started blowing, I came inside, showered, and iced my hands, wrists, and forearms, hoping to forestall the excruciating pain I experienced all last week from my gardening project. I'm NOT going to quit until I've finished what I started, so may have to buy some braces before I go out looking for the next load of rocks. Tomorrow, I'll paint the wooden privacy screen I made last weekend and then secure it to the patio frame so that project will be finished.

One step at a time ...

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Big Box Buy

Just returned from a quick trip to check window prices at the big box stores. I can replace like to like the living room window for a total installed price of $1k, which is 1/2 what the other guy quoted me yesterday. With this price, I have a good chance at getting the insurance company to pay some of it as it's almost a wash with just replacing the 2/3 of the double-pane glass that is damaged, according to my forays into trying to get quotes.

Although yesterday's salesman assured me that anything I get from the big box stores is going to be crap, I got a free upgrade to a higher energy level via a special promotion--and they guarantee the installation or redo it. I can also order the sliding glass door replacement like to like prior to May 4 and get the same upgrade. The door is about $2k without installation, so I'm not going to jump into that at this time: perhaps at the end of summer will be a better time, even without the energy upgrade.

I added purple salvia to the planter with the butterfly bushes that are going to shade the patio and create privacy one day, offsetting them to create a pop of color and fill in the ground level. My goal is to overplant so that enough vegetation survives to make the plan work, rather than putting in just what I want to be there and losing 1/2 of them to the summer sun.

Whatever happens, happens, but I'm going to hope for the best on this AND KEEP MIA OUT OF THE BACKYARD!

Monday, April 14, 2008

Sound Bites

BAM! A quick quake hit just about the time the 6:00 news came on. I had just watched a documentary on rogue waves on The History Channel, and, for a second, wondered what had hit the house. The sudden jolt felt as if a runaway truck hit the house head on, just for maybe 1-2-3 seconds, with a slight jiggling following the initial impact. Then, it was done. According to the news, 3.4 located 6 miles NE from me.

Let's see, that could be the Mission Creek Fault, the Banning Fault, the Garnet Hill Fault, or the San Andreas Fault, but it's probably the Indio Hills Fault this time. The basin is alive with shifting sand, and today's newspaper had a lead story predicting the "big one" is due any day. Well, I've already experienced a "big one," a 7.5, and I'm sticking with my belief that if I have to fall victim to any natural disaster, I prefer it to be an earthquake. I'll take my chances on moving earth, rather than 90 foot tall rogue waves traveling 150 mph that snap a tanker in half in a heartbeat!

My appointment to discuss energy efficient window replacements for the living room (the victim of the bb gun attack last fall) and the sliding glass door was eye opening. Looks like I'm not going with this vendor as just those 2 replacements will cost me $6k--and that's pretty much replacing like with like. I called this vendor because my friend who lives about a mile away had a total of 7 windows replaced for $7500, including a living room window at least the same size as mine, and she selected the top tier of glass product. I looked at one window and one patio door, mid-range glass product, for $6k?

Something doesn't make sense, and if I think I'm being scammed, I don't do business with the vendor. He did make an offer to go higher level on this and lower on that for the same price, but in my world, the price is the price: if you can sell the product for less, why aren't you? I'm not a contestant on let's make a deal and I don't want my business to be the result of arm twisting and/or my ability to guess the real price.

I desperately want to install a garden/French door instead of any kind of slider, so I'll continue to search other providers and see if I can find what I want for about $2500, which (totally installed) would be reasonable. The sales rep's take on that is sure, you can buy windows at the big box home improvement store, but you'll have crap windows, not prestige energy efficient product. My response: the house made it to almost 20 years with "crap" windows, so I'm willing to spend less to buy myself another 20 years.

My aching arms are throbbing and swollen. I've taken aspirin, ibuprofen, soaked in warm water and applied ice packs. The bottom line is that all the little things I enjoy doing cause me discomfort, so either I sit on the couch and expand my glutinous maximus or I do what I'm going to do and deal with the pain. When the scales tip and the benefit is over-matched by the pain, I'll reconsider my decision.

AARRGGHH! I just went outside to turn on the 2 soaker hoses for the new plantings--and found that Mia has already made 2 huge doggie beds, one in each of the 2 planter boxes. After yelling "bad dog" at her a hundred times (and muttering under my breath), I filled in the holes and warned her that if there are any more holes dug in my new landscaping, she's banished to the dog run. That, of course, means no coming into the air-conditioned house, a bowl of warm water outside, and no couches for her afternoon snooze. She ruined my yard the last time I planted it, and I'm NOT going to allow that again!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Weekend Woman Warrior I

Whew! I had to wait for dusk to creep across the backyard before planting the shrubs I bought today, but the soil conditioner and all the plants are in the ground, watered, and waiting for dawn to see what needs smoothing.

I hauled all but 6 large rocks for the edging and can hardly use my hands tonight. Last night, the 2 end fingers on my right hand cramped straight against my palm until I soaked them in hot water and then iced my arms, which felt like they were receiving high-voltage shock treatments.

Yep, I know: gather smaller rocks. Not going to happen as they have to be of a certain size or they look too small. If I can pick it up and put it into the truck, it's the right size. If I can't pick it up, it's too big, and if I can pick it up and toss it into the truck, it's too small. The good news is that the rest of the rocks are just on the next street, so I'll pick them up tomorrow morning and finish the last little bit of Project I.

In a few days, after I'm less sore than I am tonight, I'll start Project II, the strip that runs parallel to the driveway. I need to create a border, bring in some sand from somewhere, and then plant a hedge that should be a screen by next spring. Project III is doing the same process along the dog run fence. Project IV is cleaning up the oleander along the last side of fence. It's doing much better with all the rain we've had, but I need to remove what's dead to give what's coming in anew a chance to grow.

Then, I have to hire help to install the watering system and figure out the patio area I've designed. So far, I've spent $150, so doing well on budget due to the cheap self-labor!

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Glutton for Punishment

Several years ago, I began landscaping the backyard. I had drawn up a plan and worked for one weekend before I fell head-first to the patio slab, landing in my dog's pool which, thankfully, was filled with water and saved me from major facial injuries.

I did, however, break my left arm, which brought the project to a screeching halt. Just as it had healed and I was thinking about picking up where I left off (no pun intended), I went bowling, crossed the foul line, lost my footing, went head over tea kettle--and shattered my left shoulder and fractured my collarbone. That took a while to heal, so the backyard project faded into the past.

However, I simply cannot continue to deal with the ferocious winds that whip sand into my home from my unfinished landscaping project. I can't go outside if it's windy because the sand is so abrasive. I now need to bring in a very large truck filled with dirt to bring the yard level back to the existing patio slab height, and then I'm going to finish what I began.

I like my plan, which is very simple and features plantings around the perimeter, a large patio area in the yard, and crushed rock ground cover to keep what's there there, as well as eliminating the desert puncture weeds, a menace during spring, summer, and fall. I'm going to screen off the dog run I had fenced off when I began the original project, using North Carolina Wild Cherry trees, which attract birds during the spring and fall and create a nice screen when planted about 4 feet apart. I'll leave the oleanders along the south fence line, although many of them are beyond saving due to my benign neglect of the yard. My thinking is that once I take out the dead plants, the others will revive and spread to fill in the holes; if they don't, that's okay too. I'm planting a hedge between the backyard and the driveway, but I won't let it grow too tall as I want a more open view of my property to discourage intruders.

By planting the perimeter, I can probably install the watering system myself as all I'll need are sprinkler heads where I have shrubs and corner pieces to turn the corners of the area. I will leave a line to the patio slab so I can add the fountain if I decide to do that.

I know a guy who works for a friend of mine, and the guy does the faux finish concrete. While I think I want a free-form brick patio/play area, I'm not sure I want to haul all the bricks and lay them, although I do enjoy that kind of project. So, I'm going to call the guy and ask him to give me a bid for pouring a concrete slab and then turning it into bricks or cobblestones with a faux finish. We'll see what he says.

My idea for this patio area is to include a fountain, and I've seen one I absolutely love: a huge sphere created from rectangular pieces of rock that overlap. The water comes out the top and trickles down the globe into a large, round catch-basin. There are matching benches, which would be a great finishing touch. If I get the rest of the work done by the end of summer, perhaps fountains will be on discount sales and I can save some money by waiting to do that the last thing.

The biggest part of the project is replacing the existing sliding door, which doesn't slide due to the afore-mentioned sand issue. I want a glass door that opens and closes without involving sliding on a track. I'm not sure how this will work with Mia, as she's used to coming and going through her doggie door, but we'll find a way to make it work.

My budget is a total of $5000, which is quite do-able as long as I am physically able to work on the project. I can get the dirt delivered for under $500 (or haul it one trip at a time in my truck). I'm using rocks I pick up in the empty lots in the neighborhood for edging/borders in the areas where I'll be planting. I have some huge rocks that I'll use as features here and there because I want the yard to look more natural than architectural. I'm limiting actual planting, but can add potted plants for color and interest on the patio and throughout the yard if it needs it.

Today, I outlined the walkway from the existing patio slab to the gate at the dog run and made the final privacy screen to face the west and slow down the blowing sand, as well as being a trellis for the bougainvilla I'm planting around the patio to provide both privacy and a pop of color. I'm pretty good at working at a project one day at a time, so I'm thinking I should have this finished by July 4th, which allows for glitches and delays, but no time off for physical injury!

Friday, April 11, 2008

Neighborhood News

Much to the relief of surrounding residents, I picked up poop this morning, a task I will freely admit has been overlooked since the Christmas holiday due to weather conditions: rain and fierce winds, neither of which is conducive to doggy duty. I do have it as a task in my Palm Pilot, but it's one of the easiest to put off to another day. Or, it seems, another month!

I met my new neighbors: husband, wife, and two children, none of whom speak English! The 3-year-old girl was climbing on my wall and throwing paper into my yard, both of which push one of my nasty buttons. I was eating outside, so I put my food and wine down, stood up and meandered in her direction, a move that usually sends kids running for cover, and told her to get down, which earned me a vacant stare. Thinking perhaps she had not heard me, as I came closer to the wall to tell her again to get down, I saw her mother. I introduced myself, she gave me her name, then told me "no habla English." Well, since I no habla Espanol, we'll be nodding and waving neighbors--as long as the little girl stays off my wall and keeps her trash in her own yard, that is.

Many nearby residents are outside this week, cleaning the yards (it's a particularly weedy spring), playing their music loudly enough for everyone on the block to enjoy, and firing up the barbies: steaks on the grill and frijoles in the pot. Wash it down with copious quantities of beer and it doesn't get much better than that.

Taking the hint, I cleaned both my patio and my patio furniture. I borrowed a steam cleaner from a friend, believing the ease with which the TV demo individual cleans decades of dirt off the patio set, but I didn't have huge success with that system and reverted to scrubbing with a brush and blasting off the gunk with the garden hose. I used a complete tank of water with the steamer and thought to fill 'er up and continue the process, but--believe it or not--one must wait a minimum of 15 minutes before refilling the steamer when it runs out of water! That 15 minutes was enough time to scrub 2 of the 4 chairs, and I still haven't been able to loosen the pressure cap after 2 hours of waiting. Either not as touted on TV, or I'm a steam clean failure.

I've drawn up plans for another wind-break panel and think I've figured out how to attach it to the west side of the patio so I can sit outside again. I'd love to put up canvas so the man next door can't sit and stare at me, but I'll do that next. My privacy hints come in stages, depending on whether anyone is living upstairs and sitting on the windowsill: the only view is my backyard!

All the debris from the foreclosure in the front unit next door is gone, including the filled to overflowing garage. I guess that family simply walked out the door and bought everything new because they seem to have left behind most of what was in the house. Just having the trash cleaned up improves the appearance of the rental property. As the prices of the foreclosures remain pretty cheap, people are buying the homes and moving in, so perhaps my street will fill up again by summer.

We're due for high double--and maybe triple--digits today, so time to change out the filter in the cooling system, clean all the fan blades, and dig out the summer sunscreen. It's looking good in the neighborhood.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Punditing

One of my pleasures is surfing the talking head networks, listening to snippets of posturing, prognosticating, and pontificating from the political pundits. If we believe Stewart, O'Reilly, Cobert, Beck et al in toto, we’d cement ourselves into the unused bomb shelters from the 1950s and pray for the end of the world to release us from the hash we’ve made of it.

On the other hand, if we listen as we go about doing other tasks, multi-tasking as we sing the Happy Working Song, some gems reveal themselves and offer fodder for folderol. Specifically, Colbert’s conversation with Madeline Albright, who has published a self-aggrandizing tome that glorifies the administration for which she worked, addressed the 81% of poll participants who believe we’re headed to hell in a hand-basket, while questioning the logic behind the 19% who refuse to come aboard the media train, implying that the majority is correct, while the minority is wrong, rather than allowing that there is validity to both points of view.

A visual leapt into mind, based on somewhat watching Dancing with the Stars last night: P Presley’s face. I used to think Elvis’s former spouse (she glosses over the other husbands with whom she has shared a name) was attractive, particularly as she celebrated birthdays and grew into her mature womanhood. I could see why she attracted so many movers and shakers into her world as any man would be glad to escort her in public. However, has anyone told her how grotesquely comical her new facelift look is? Jack Nicholson as the Joker comes to mind, as well as the advance photos of the late Heath Ledger in costume for his soon-to-be-released last film.

The lips are atrocious and the obviously plumped apple cheeks are simply distracting. At age 62, a woman should look relaxed, comfortable with herself and her appearance, not appear to be a clone of the costumed Marie Osmond doll routine from last season’s Dancing! Pricilla’s face lift should at least command a total refund: I wonder if she used the same surgeon Meg Ryan allowed to seriously alter her adorable looks? Both of them should contact the person who does the one-day, non-invasive face lift touted by a local resident who says she's 64, but few people believe it, including me. She looks great--but still resembles her "before" photo, a claim 'Cilla can no longer make!

So, if 81% of Pricilla’s contacts approve of the look, does that mean it’s a great look? Or do the 19% who think she looks absurdly comical also have an accurate response to the alterations? Is one side right, while the other side wrong, or is one side going along with what’s politically correct and publicly expected, while the minority is actually a whole lot closer to the truth than those who go along to get ahead?

Will the country really be better off with an Obama/Clinton ticket, or will it simply have twice the political problems the pundits attribute to the current administration? Do voters who chirp that they’ll vote for Hillary because Bill was such a “great President” believe (1) that Clinton I was a “great President” and (2) that somehow his White House tenancy assures that his wife will also be a “great President”? Is it really okay to elect Obama because it's "this [black] man, this time"?

Is it okay to elect McCain—as long as he has a younger, well-qualified running mate? If that person is available, why aren’t we running him/her for the top office, rather than assuring the line of succession when the oldest candidate to run for the office gets the votes? I’m not sure I can vote for a man’s running mate and hope that the President dies in office so we get a “great [Republican] President.”

I doubt that we can simply withdraw from Iraq without paying a tremendous consequence: World War III. The Japanese were cleaning up Hiroshima before the fires were out; the Iraqis don't seem to be able to function independently. If we aren't there to tell them what to do and how to do it, someone will gladly provide that direction once we leave. No matter how we got there, we cannot pull the plug without creating a vacuum into which unscrupulous world leaders will gladly leap, assuring their dictatorial dominance with regimes that will make Saddam Hussein look benevolent.

I also think that financial institutions and individuals who speculate on real estate at the expense of the mortgage-paying population should be allowed to fail. Using Colbert’s statistics, I’d venture to say that at least 81% of us are paying our mortgages, and the 19% who default are in the wrong.

The cheerleaders who beat up another girl, filmed it, and think it’s a hoot ought to be tried as adults and serve serious jail time. If 81% of the teens who view the filmed event think it’s tight, does that make it right?

On the other hand, the six-year-old who patted a girl’s butt on the playground probably won’t see the error of his ways because … he’s six! Kids that age (probably 81% of them) touch each other, so perhaps a man-to-man talk could be justified, not police intervention and removal of the little boy from school.

Some days, I just like to talk back to those who do their talking so publicly because I've realized that my credentials and life experience are at least equal to most of theirs. However, I will admit that I've never been a contestant on a reality show, so I don't ever expect to achieve "star" status.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Doggone It!

I’m tired of the constant, relentless wind; if it were a gentle breeze, I might be able to tolerate it, but it’s been continual high winds with gusts between 20-70 mph for the past month.

I don’t go outside in the wind as it peels the skin off my arms and pits my face with sand, leaving a grittiness behind that has to be showered off and calmed with oceans of lotions. My windshields are dangerously pitted and have to be replaced, which is not going to happen until the winds calm down. My plants are so dry they appear to have been blow-torched, but it’s just the ferocity of the desert winds attacking them 24/7.

The wind gives me a tension, a headache, a crabbiness I don’t need in my life. I find myself short-tempered and responding to minor happenings as if they were a much bigger deal. Evidence Mia, who came back from her week away refusing to use the doggy door. She scratches on the glass sliding door and won't come through the doggy door even when I tempt her with a pupparoni stick, one of her favorite “good girl” treats. I began screaming at her to stop it, which didn’t work at all. I’ve tried to ignore her, but that’s as much a challenge as ignoring the metallic dissonance of the hot water heater enclosure that has been rent by the wind and reacts noisily to each and every gust. One night the metal banging and clanging outside the house next door was so overwhelming that I slept in the guest room!

What’s odd is that how strongly the winds blow depends on where in the valley one is. At my house, the winds are ferocious; however, across the highway there can be nary a breath of air moving while I’m battening down the hatches for another onslaught. However, one thing is sure: if it’s time for either world-class tennis or golf, the wind is going to blow wherever the games are being played!

This is the time of the year that I like to open the house and let in the fresh air, but even that pleasure has been curtailed by Mother Nature. If the wind doesn’t stop soon, I’m going to throw caution to the wind and indulge in another chocolate chip cookie binge! It won’t make the winds die down, but it might lessen my reaction to it.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Woodja Believe It?

Yesterday was an interesting day as I had another close call at the "Death Corner," an intersection that probably would be safer if no one ever had to use it!

What is it about drivers who have to stop at a T-intersection? They are coming cold onto a very busy thoroughfare--cars that do NOT stop at the same time they do--so they need to be sure it is safe to pull ahead of cars traveling the speed limit: in this case, a posted 55 mph.

Nah, it's more fun to see if you can beat the oncoming traffic onto the road, even when it means that the speeding traffic has to slam on brakes, swerve, and pray that they will live to finish the morning commute. This time, I also put my brights on as I screamed up to his back bumper, hoping to provide the driver with a visual realization that he just pulled in front of a vehicle traveling much faster than he had figured.

Later in the day, I was walking through a parking lot and a balloon fell out of the sky and landed on my head! Really. It plopped onto my head and then fell to the ground in front of me. What are the odds anyone will be hit in the head with the remnant of a celebratory balloon?

Finally, my friend, who insisted on driving to the fast-food restaurant of her choice for our weekly Friday night feast, swerved across a double-lane turning intersection and came very close to side-swiping the car next to us. Fortunately, that driver saw what was coming and avoided the collision. My friend isn't a very good driver, one of those who speeds up, slows down, changes lanes, talks constantly--and screams at other drivers who don't act in accordance with her perception of how they should act.

Needless to say, I'd rather do the driving. That wasn't an option this time, but I'll be more insistent in the future.

On the good news side of life, someone showed up with trucks and trailers and actually began cleaning up the remains of the former next-door neighbor's tenantcy. I saw 3 loads leave the area, but there is more to remove. The man doing the cleaning said the property has gone into foreclosure, so I'm wondering if the other tenants at the back of the property will also have to vacate. That will be too bad as the one man who lives there is nice, quiet, and likes my dog. If I had the funds to purchase and renovate the property, I'd do it.

Finally, I replanted some of the plants that didn't make it through the desert winter. In the process, I uncovered the small black hose used for the drip system, so this morning I'll go out and recover it by reraking the stones. I'm so pleased with how nice the yard continues to look and how easy it is to maintain.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Desert Beauty

Last night, driving up the hill to teach class, I was amazed at the miles of sunny yellow flowers carpeting the desert sand. The wildflowers are profuse this season, the bushes taller than I recall seeing them in years. The lupine is also lush this year, an anomoly in the desert as it requires more humidity than other desert dwellers, but the abundance of rain this year has brought the purple blossoms to full bloom.

When the unusual yucca plants bloom, it is a sight to see: the plant itself presents as barren leaves until the huge flowering part appears on a stalk, multiple blossoms covering the stalks until they look like huge ears of corn. Again, I don't recall seeing so many yuccas in bloom in years and years, and it is a wonderous sight to behold.

The desert cacti are flowering, some of them a bright splash of red that is unexpected in the desert landscape. Others have smaller, more delicate blossoms, but it appears as if there is not a cactus not in bloom this year.

Although the desert isn't for everyone, for those of us who share it with Mother Nature, she has done her best to dress up for Spring this year.

PS: I'll take a picture of a yucca ... this weekend.