Visionary

Today, I was the driver for a friend who had a baseline colonoscopy. My job was to sit and wait while she had the procedure, then sit and wait for her to come out of the happy juice, feed her, and then drive her home, all of which are duties within my skill set. As I was reading/waiting in the front lobby, I almost giggled with all the gas being passed; you see, prior to the procedure, all patients have to cleanse their bowels, which has to be one of the most unpleasant processes known to mankind, a process that results in lots and lots and lots of really stinky gas.

First vision: the doctor inserting the whatever it's called with the camera up the rectum and the gas explodes, similar to a balloon punctured by a pin, the force of which propels the doctor back a few feet and leaves a ghastly stench behind.

After my friend came to, the nurse directed her to get dressed, sit in the wheelchair, and wait for the doctor to reveal the results of the procedure. The doc came in, talked to my friend, and showed her the color shots of the interior of her colon.

Second vision: do YOU want to take a look at these pictures? They are really neat. Uh, that would be a "hell no."

As I'm driving her to b'fast, I'm sharing about a person I know who is scheduling a vaginal rejuvenation procedure for a little later this year.

Third vision: you have to be kidding me! I not only do not want to see the before/after shots, but I'm curious how she'll know the before/after difference.

Finally, one of my pregnant students sent an email msg to tell me that it's time. Thankfully, her husband is taking her to the hospital because he's going to watch the birth of their son.

Final vision: dear God, why does anyone think they want to watch that?