La-La-La Labs

This morning, I drove to PS for the lab work required prior to my annual physical. I arrived, along with several other patients, at 7 am only to realize that the lab opens at 8 am, so I drove to Wal-Mart and bought non-perishables before returning to the lab at 7:45 am. By this time, there were already almost 2 dozen patients (and their family members; Hispanics enjoy family outings, even to the lab) lined up at the door. I joined their ranks, determined to be in and out and back home by 9 am.

Yeah, right. Each patient has to sign in, take a seat, and wait to be called for the check-in process that includes both the lab request and the insurance card. A new twist this visit was that each patient has to provide an "open" line of credit on a credit card so if the insurance does not pay within 45 days, it goes onto the patient's credit card.

My reaction: hell, no. I simply told them that I did not have a credit card with me, which is true as I only carry a debit card. I said that they are welcome to bill me if I owe a balance and I will be glad to send them a check -- but I'm not presenting them with a credit card! I added that there is no way I want my credit card information available in their files, along with my signed permission to debit the card, unless ALL of their employees, including delivery personnel and the custodial staff are licensed and bonded. And, I asked that the proof be presented to me before I signed the permission form.

They did my lab work this time, but I probably have not heard the end of the discussion.

However, because so many patients arrived for their lab work, the majority of us fasting for a blood work-up, my name was not called until 9:15 am. It only took a minute, but I ate my dinner at 6 pm yesterday, so it seemed like a really long time to go without eating. Presented with an opportunity to enjoy someone else's cooking, I drove to my favorite downtown diner for a breakfast burrito before driving back home.

What tickled my funny bones this morning was the elderly couple that arrived at the lab to find patients filling all the chairs, as well sitting on the brick wall outside the lab. The old man could not process all these people at the lab when it had just turned 8:00 and the lab had just opened its doors. He was convinced that the lab opened at 6:30 am, as it does on weekday mornings. He spoke loudly with his wife, with the people sitting to his side, and then got up to go through it all again with the lab staff. The woman sitting next to me got the giggles as she said, kinda loudly, "Which part of it doesn't he understand?" but then she really lost it when her husband's name was called, Gwen James, instead of James Whatever the real pronunciation of his last name.

Sad to say that she was probably the only person at the lab this morning having fun, and when I left, the old guy was still trying to convince his wife that the lab must have opened its doors at 6:30 this morning.