No Mas!

I hate going to the doctor, but I do it once a year because my insurance insists on that. My health philosophy is if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, so I wait until I break something before I bother the doctor with it. However, a month ago I developed a touch sensitive spot on my back that was darn-right painful, so after asking a friend to tell me if there was anything there and her confirming there was a lump, I decided to see a doctor. The first visit to the doctor reinforced both the pain and the mass, as the doctor explained it, and the testing process began.

I don’t know what the blood tests were for, but that part of the diagnostic process was followed by the ultrasound, which showed nothing, confirmed today by the MRI that shows nothing: no lump, no mass, no nothing.

“Nothing” does not explain the unremitting, excruciating pain that I had to handle for almost a month to the extent that I contemplated an unscheduled visit to the ER two weekends ago. I have a high tolerance for pain, but this lump was beyond my comfort zone. Most especially, the stabbing pain kept me awake at night and the throbbing was one of those constant pulsations that keep the mind always on the edge of a headache. To have this end as “nothing” seems in direct contrast to the month-long pain process, but once the machines and the doctor say “it’s nothing,” the diagnostic process abruptly ends. No do-overs in the medical industry. No Doctor House on my case.

Do I now just accept that there is, indeed, a lump in my back because I can feel it, and it hurts like hell some days, but it’s nothing, so I can just put it out of my mind? When I had the chest pains that doubled me over and was sent to the ER, three days later the diagnosis was “nothing,” just premature ventricular contractions, but it was appropriate for me to seek medical care so I could know that it was "nothing." This time, it’s "nothing” again, so if it flares up again, do I ignore it or have it rechecked?

If you want my opinion, and no one ever does, had the swollen, painful lump on my back been MRI’d when it was still painful and swollen, perhaps the test results would be different, but after a month – it either cures or kills! The next time that a well-meaning friend and/or family member tells me to go the doctor, I have two words: no mass!!