Updating My Hasty Exit from The Reader

The b'fast club discussed my reaction to the total frontal nude sex scene at the beginning of The Reader, with the frowner being the exception to my yuck reaction: she always wants to condemn me for being so prudish, but because I always know what her reaction is, I ignore her. The rest of the group agrees that it's probably the older female/young teen boy that triggered my reaction as we're all former teachers who find that sort of sexual situation abhorrent.

One 'faster explained that the actress, Kate Winslet, revealed in an interview that it didn't "bother" her to do the scene as she felt it was essential to the movie and what happens later, but there are ways to establish that relationship without its being so in-your-face! Another 'faster said that she, too, would have walked out because, in her mind, that's bordering on pornography disguised as art, and once the line is crossed and accepted, the boundary ceases to exist for other filmmakers. She doesn't want to look forward to full frontal nude sex scenes in other movies, just because it's okay in this movie.

We talked about that concept: far too many lines are crossed to see if society will allow them to be crossed, but once the lines no longer exist, it becomes a free for all of one-upmanship to see who can push the boundaries farther. The distinct difference between decency and obscenity become obscured under the guise of art, leaving (once again) parents with the troubling task of defending their parenting choices when the rest of the world has gone laissez faire as it's too much work to be the one parent who still believes in the difference between what's right and what's wrong. It's no longer just that all the other kids, but all the other parents aren't holding the line between what's right and what's wrong.

For instance, Britney Spears began her career with an all-American image that parents not just appreciated, but supported; however, to ramp up her image (translate: income) she became less all-American and much more trampy. She began with subtle costume changes that morphed her into the cheap bar girl persona, and then she began living out that lifestyle. There is an entire generation of girls who followed her lead and headed down a path their parents never dreamed their little girls would travel. The mantra became, "Britney does it," and rather than stand up for what the parents' wanted for their children, the parents caved. Not far behind is Justin Timberlake for the boys: clean-cut, all-American boy gone gangsta, with his posse of 10-year-olds dragging along behind him, ball caps turned backward and one hand on the waistband of pants many sizes too large.

And, sadly, when the parents sent the children off to school looking like little hooker Britney and miniature gangsta Justin, the schools caved. Dress codes in CA are a thing of the past and pretty much anything a child wears is okay because it's what their parents have approved by purchasing it for them -- whether they know it or not.

The media's influence over our lives is far stronger than many people are willing to admit. If we see it on TV, we want it for our own lives, whether we like it, need it, or can afford it. We see a home makeover that changes out the kitchen appliances and countertops, and that's what we have to have, too. A refigerator or stove works as well with an enamel surface as it does with a steel surface, but if the TV designers show stainless steel appliances and granite countertops, we install stainless steel appliances and granite countertops, often just in time for the look to change on next season's designer shows.

And, contrary to the ads, an enamel fridge can be as energy efficient as a stainless steel fridge because being a "green" appliance is all about the construction and the motor used to run the appliance, not the material used for the decorative exterior panel.

It's all about the boundaries that society needs to function in an orderly manner, but which the shock-meisters want to flaut to make another dollar off a society that functions on a herd mentality. Regardless of how Kate Winslet felt about having total naked sex with a teenager for a film her husband was directing and in a scene he was intimately involved with, it's not appropriate in my world. With her husband the one behind the filming, it almost becomes prostitution: he films a big-budget porno sex scene starring his wife -- and they both get paid for it. The publicity brings in the public, who want to see the total nudity/total sex scene, which is another financial plus for the director and his wife.

The buzz sent the film into the awards show season, but I'll always wonder how many people would have seen the film based on its merits, rather than on a desire to see, for the first time, this shocking soft porno given legitimacy.