So, THIS is Christmas?

It is Christmas, regardless of the seasonal name by which it is called. It's an end-of-the-year celebration eagerly anticipated by the old and the young, and embraces all cultures and religions in some way or another. It's fun; it's family; it's a national party of indulgence that somehow just feels right.

What doesn't feel right this year is the begging. All those organizations that push donating to their cause are militant this year, sending letter after letter to the homes, as well as bombarding the media with extensive coverage that features poor, poor children whose Christmas just won't be merry this year. Give to the toy give-aways; give to the food banks; donate to the cancer hospitals and hospices; volunteer to serve ; pick a name off the donation tree and buy a gift for a needy child.

Give, give, give so no one has to cut back or adjust their standard of living to accommodate circumstances that demand spending less, rather than more.

It used to be that Christmas was one significant gift, accompanied by several necessities, such as new socks and underwear, both of which have become the butt of an annual joke. Children got new school supplies in their stockings to start the second semester in January, along with a fresh piece of fruit. Parents were content to make Christmas for the children, enjoying the family and friends and food as their gift as another year came to a close. The gifts were thoughtful and useful, rather than a tribute to conspicuous consumption that has become the hallmark of an American Christmas. The final piece of the Christmas celebration was the multi-generational family dinner that no one wanted to miss as they came from both near and far. The women cooked, the men watched TV, the children played together, and the family experienced the reason for the season, rather than toting up their take in the prestigious prezzy contest.

When I worked at a local high school, the highlight of the season was an annual drive to provide food, clothing, holiday decorations, and gifts for a family. I don't know how the families were selected, but two years in a row, my students did nothing to provide any of the requirements, so I paid out of pocket for all of the items on the "must have" list. The third year, I refused to participate and left it up to the students to decide if they wanted to participate, knowing that I would not donate a dime. Of course, the day arrived and there were a few cans in the donation box, which I made the students take to the drop-off. The silence was deafening. The 4th year, I was "paired" with another teacher to make it easier for two classes of students to fill the box. The only reason the box was filled is that the other teacher picked up the slack. As the students went to the home to deliver their bounty, they were shocked to see two brand-new SUVs in the driveway, decorations everywhere outside and then inside, as well as tree that had piles of gifts already wrapped and waiting for the big day.

The girls who went on the delivery came back to school in tears. As one of them told me, that family has a nicer home, newer vehicles, and many more presents than her own family, so she didn't understand why they received the donation. I made my concerns known in writing to the administration and refused to participate in this annual event. Needless to say, there were other teachers who shared my stance, but they were afraid to speak up, fearing retribution for their lack of team spirit.

At a local elementary school a short drive from the Mexico border, Nike has donated 400 pairs of new shoes to children when a local donation could not raise enough money to buy each child a pair of shoes. The teachers heading the shoe drive lamented that the children have to wear "cast off" shoes, as if somehow wearing a pair of shoes donated to a thrift shop was shameful. People who used to cut down/remake clothing from one child to another now donate it to the thrift shops, where it is sold for a song, so why not buy it?

The shame is in believing that someone else has to take care of you and your family. The old saying, "whatever it takes," used to be what everyone did to make it through a tough time. No one looked to the government to take care of them, to give them subsidized housing, food stamps, free health care -- and new clothing, piles of Christmas presents. No one assumed that the community was going to provide anything more than a hot meal at the local community kitchen. We handed clothes down to our neighbors'/friends' children, who were glad to get them. We had neighborhood parties where each person brought a food item to share, making sure that there was enough to send some home with the families going through tough times. We shared babysitting for the families who could not afford to pay a sitter, and we hired the neighborhood teens to sit for us so they could earn a little bit of spending money. Families drew names for gift-giving, rather than each one buying for everyone else, a costly practice in any economy.

We are going overboard during a time that has affected everyone's buying power. Kids don't want new school supplies in their stockings; they want an IPod, a top-of-the-line phone with unlimited texting, the latest fashion jeans at $100 a pop, and mall quality cosmetics. Parents want new cars, big screen TVs, and luxury vacations in exotic locations. No one goes to church anymore as Christmas Eve is the absolutely last shopping opportunity and if you miss it, you may miss the bargain of the year!!

There is no making do; there is just getting more.