White Elephant Gift Exchange

So, here's the deal: everyone brings something they no longer want, nicely wrapped, and all the gifts are placed in the middle of the table. Each guest selects a gift, preferably not the one s/he brought to the party, and then the guests open them, one at a time. If anyone wants YOUR gift, they may hand you their still-wrapped gift, you exchange with them, and they get what you had.

This is one of those things that is just easier to do than to describe.

Around the circle we went, with each guest opening a present and the bringer telling the story about it. I had taken a pretty green fleece throw with a holiday theme as I know all of them really anticipate and enjoy the Christmas season, but me? Not so much. Another gal had brought a little Lenox catch-all dish, a third had purchased a Thomas Kinkaide mug with tea bags and lemon cookies wrapped with it. Then, it was my turn to open the gift in front of me, a gift in a really large box. I had not taken a gift, waiting until everyone else had grabbed one, so I tore off the paper, lifted the lid, and was totally speechless.

My gift is a hookah. You know -- the thing a person uses for smoking dope? It's solid brass, quite heavy, and, perhaps, of some value. Did you get the part where I said, "It's a hookah?" Yeah, a hookah. I just stared at it, unable to find a comment other than, "IT'S A HOOKAH!"

The guest who brought it as her white elephant gift was slightly teary-eyed as she explained that she bought it at a tag sale about 15 years ago because she really liked it and thought it was an unusual vase. She bought some artificial flowers for it and used it as a door stop until a friend stopped by and explained that it really wasn't a vase, but a hookah used for smoking dope.

My friend, a fellow Scandinavian, wasn't fazed: she said she bought it, she likes it, and she's going to continue to use it as a doorstop, which she has for all these years. However, she and her husband are contemplating moving back to Wyoming, so they are in the process of cleaning out the detritus of many years together. Her husband suggested our white elephant gift exchange as an excellent opportunity for passing the hookah on, so that's what was decided. However, my friend admitted that she had both second and third thoughts as she drove to the party because she's had it so long and still really likes the hookah. I suggested that we could swap gifts, a legitmate part of the game, so she could take it back home with her, but she sadly said, "No, it's time for me to move on."

At that very moment, I knew that I was well and truly stuck with the hookah! She passed it on to one of her trusted friends, knowing that none of us would chuck it for her, an action she simply could not take herself. I have a house filled with those kinds of decisions, so I thanked her graciously and told her that I would find a spot for her treasure. I set it by the front door, on the phone table, so I can see it and be reminded that I have to find the perfect spot for it. When the tech from my alarm company showed up and had to go back outside to his truck, he noticed it and commented on my object d'art with a slightly smirky smile on his face belying his compliment. I think I now know why it makes an excellent door stop, rather than being displayed at eye level.

I've turned it upside down to see if I could repurpose it into an unusual light fixture, but although the 4 smoking outlets are connected to the central delivery system, I'm not sure it's in a way that would allow wiring as the base is screwed onto a solid core protrusion. Ditto planting a live plant in it. I don't have an EBay account and I don't know anything about Craig's list, but perhaps there is someone out there who really, really wants an old solid brass hookah and would cherish it forever. Please?

PS: the markings on the bottom are R.B India 93: 4.J