The Hilton Hospital Method

The bills for the hospital visit are starting to trickle in; I spent from noon on Monday to about 10:30 am on Wednesday as a guest of the Regional Medical Center, the first 10 hours in the emergency room, the next 20 hours enduring endless tests while waiting for an arterial angiogram to rule out problems with the arteries, and the final 15 hours waiting to be released because there was nothing found to explain my symptoms. The total amount billed is $32,801.59. Assuming my visit was 45 hours, the charges are $728.92 an hour, pretty pricey payment for a visit that ended with the diagnosis heart arrhythmia, undetermined cause, and the treatment protocol Prilosec because it could be acid reflux that caused my chest pains.

Or not.

The good news is that the medical center can bill whatever it wants, but the insurance companies ignore whatever they receive. Blue Cross is paying $7,092.00 for the hospitalization, which sounds a whole lot more in line with services rendered, and my share is $980.38, a tidy sum to pay for 45 hours of occupying a bed without even a change of sheets. Not to worry, however, as I have 30 days to remit the full amount due, and everyone has an extra thousand dollars tucked away for just such a rainy day.

Yet to be added are the fees for the doctors, including my family physician, who told me not to stop at his office, but go directly to the ER, when I called on Monday about the chest pains, and the heart specialist who was called in to do the arterial angiogram and pronounced my medical condition as fine. I’m sure there will be other as yet undisclosed charges to add to my medical expenses, and I’ll pay my share of those, too.

What does alarm me are the letters from BC Life & Health warning me that there was no authorization for the hospitalization, no “pre-certification” to determine medical necessity. Because this authorization was not granted, the bills may not be paid! The letters also assure me that “payment of your benefits could be limited for a number of reasons,” one of which may be whim, if I’m getting the gist of the correspondence correctly. Perhaps this is just a CYA form letter because I know much of the time spent waiting was spent waiting for authorization for (1) admittance to the hospital from the emergency room and (2) for the angiogram and, if necessary, surgical intervention, so I guess I don’t have to worry about this form letter unless the doctor doesn’t do the job of providing the correct information to justify both the emergency room and the hospitalization.

I am grateful that there was nothing found to cause alarm, require further hospitalization, and create even more horrendous bills from medical institutions and procedures, but, honestly, I’m not really comfortable with having severe chest pains on-going for 5 days, combined with heart arrhythmia that was obvious and distinct during the EKGs, being treated with nitroglycerin 3 separate times while hospitalized, and then being sent home with “possible acid indigestion” and a warning to call 9-1-1 if I experience any further symptoms.

Symptoms of what? I’m not calling 9-1-1 if releasing a hearty burp or a colorful fart will do as much for me as a 3-day hospital stay! I thought I could be having a heart attack when I experienced the previous symptoms, which is why I agreed to go to the emergency room. I now know that I don’t have to react to the same or similar symptoms if they reoccur as it’s probably just acid reflux again, so how will I know if/when I really do have to call 9-1-1?

Yes, I’m glad I have insurance and will continue to pay for it now that I’m retired, and I will seek immediate and appropriate medical assistance when/if I feel there is a need for same. But I also understand why so many people don’t bother to have insurance, which means the total bills are write-offs for both the uninsured and the indigent. I also understand that the leading cause of bankruptcy in senior citizens is medical bills that can quickly pass the $1 million mark for major hospitalization, surgery, and/or disease.

If these symptoms reoccur, I think I’ll go with the Hilton treatment option: check myself into a luxurious suite, take full advantage of every amenity available, including massage, facial, manicure/pedicure, partake of fabulous meals from a 4-star restaurant, and just wait for the burping to begin. I’ll enjoy it a whole lot more than a hospital room, and the end result will be the same: no diagnosis, no treatment, but a hell of a huge bill at check-out!